The Soundtrack of Our Summer
by summerhaze17
Summary: Toby and Spencer become close friends the summer before senior year, but will they take the chance for something more? Or will the complications of harsh reality stand in their way of taking their friendship to the next level? Each chapter is based on a song. au.
1. Thunder

**So this is my first official story fanfic.. and I'm a little nervous about publishing it, so reviews are so helpful! I don't care if they're mean or complimentary, anything will be a huge favor :). So a little about this story that's au, Toby and Spencer are both in the same grade (seniors) along with Aria, Hanna, Caleb, and Emily. Also, Caleb and Toby are best friends. Also, each chapter has been inspired by a song (hence the title), I'm not sure if i'm going to be putting the lyrics into each chapter, or just title the chapter that. Either way though i'll make sure I give you a heads up about the song and artist so you can feel free to listen to it the first one is one is Thunder by Boys Like Girls :)**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Thunder**

Skin to Skin, their hearts race with anticipation. As they hold onto each other close, it's almost as though they're afraid if they let go their world would shatter. Toby takes in a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he asks her softly, "Are you sure you're ready?"

Spencer nods slowly, not willing to break eye contact until absolutely necessary. She leans in, preparing herself mentally and physically. He holds onto her so tight, she can feel the pulse racing through his veins. Sweat covers their palms. _  
_

"One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war! Five, six, seven, eight, try to keep your thumb straight!" They shout in unison, preparing for battle.

Thumbs clash, teasing each other, each fighting to take control. Finally, with the upper hand Toby pounces on top of Spencer, but she's too quick and escapes just in time to pin Toby down.

"Suck it! I win again." Spencer cheers. "So that's what? 10 to…hmm…what was it again? Oh yeah two."

"Not fair you so cheated!"

_Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go  
Whoa.  
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why I tried_

They sit side by side in the back of Toby's rusty old truck parked on top of the highest point in Rosewood. Not many people know about this secret hide out, only their friends who come to hangout and now to reunite after being apart for the entire summer. The sun was just about to go down as Spencer and Toby pass the time waiting for their friends' homecoming arrival.

"Yeah and I cheated the last nine times too" Spencer remarks, rolling her eyes.

"Well, how about a rematch, but this time winner gets championship?"

"Oh, you're so on." She narrows her eyes at him as she attempts to give him her harshest stare-down.

Toby laughs at her attempt. It was ironic how she tried to be intimidating but looked nothing short of adorable in his eyes. To him, she was as scary as a puppy. It amazed him how close they had gotten over such as short period of time. They had been friends ever since his best friend Caleb started dating her best friend Hanna, but they always hung out as a group. It wasn't until all their friends went away the summer before their senior year that they had become so close. Now he couldn't imagine his life without her.

_I tried to read between the lines  
I tried to look in your eyes  
I want a simple explanation  
For what I'm feeling inside  
I gotta find a way out  
Maybe there's a way out_

Suddenly a black jeep pulls up beside them and Caleb and Hanna jump out. Spencer and Hannah only have enough time to glance at one another before the squealing commenced. Caleb and Toby cover their ears as the two best friends jump up and down making enough noise to wake a small village.

"Hey man."

"Hey." The guys greet each other with a quick one-armed hug. Although both would never admit it, they both missed each other about as much as the girls had.

"How was roaming around Europe with Hannah?" Toby asked.

"Expensive" Caleb snorts a chuckle. "But well worth it since I got to spend the entire summer with the most beautiful girl." He quickly adds after given a dirty look from Hanna.

Hanna turns back to Spencer, squealing one last time.

"Gah, I feel like it's been a year since I saw you!" Hanna hugs Spencer closer.

"It was only three months, not that long! How was Europe? I can't believe Caleb's mom took you for the entire summer!"

"I know. It was so nice of her! It was so beautiful there you have no idea."

"I hope I can go someday soon. Wouldn't it be nice to just spend a year traveling the world? Spend a week in Italy, then out of the blue go to India for a month?" Spencer's eyes drift off with her day-dream. Toby looks over at Spencer as he overhears her thoughts. He gets lost in her eyes as he wishes he could spend that year traveling with her. Going wherever they desired? Getting away from Rosewood? Hell, anywhere away from Rosewood constituted as paradise to him.

"Hello? Toby? You there?" the sound of Caleb's voice suddenly broke Toby away from his thoughts.

"Yeah, your right. It's going to get dark soon, we'd better start the bonfire." Toby responds quickly.

_Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer  
Do you know you're unlike any other?  
_

About an hour later, the Toby, Caleb, Spencer, Hanna, and the rest of their friends gather around the fire. They swap horror stories from the past three months as they catch up. The music from the radio in Toby's truck acts as an anthem, reminding them to be young and free. The bonfire glows in the darkness of the warm August night. Fireflies dance around the group of friends, and in this reunion they feel as though they're unstoppable. Their senior year inches closer each day, but they're ready to conquer it and then take on the world.

_You'll always be my thunder, and I said  
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors  
I don't wanna ever love another  
You'll always be my thunder  
So bring on the rain  
And bring on the thunder_

Toby sits in between Caleb and his oldest friend Emily, who was away working as a camp counselor. He nods along listening to her talk about the horror of teaching ten-year-olds how to canoe, trying to make it look like he's paying attention. They'd been best friends since the fateful day of sharing crayons in kindergarten; she knew all of his deepest secrets and they had always promised to be there for each other through thick and thin. He felt bad about neglecting his best friend, but in truth, he kept on getting distracted by the brunette sitting 10 feet away from him across the fire. The way her skin glowed in the light of the roaring fire was captivating. She looked like a greek goddess. Spencer catches Toby's eye and smiles down at her feet, embarrassed he caught her sneaking a peak too.

_Today is a winding road  
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know  
Today I'm on my own  
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone  
I don't know_

"Ok, since when are you two so close?" Hanna questions.

"Since we were the last two stuck here. Besides we were always friends, it was just inevitable that we got closer as the rest of our friends decide to ditch us to go gallivanting across Europe. Not that I blame you. If my boyfriend's mom offered me an expense paid trip I'd take it in a heartbeat." Spencer retorts.

Spencer chances another glace at Toby. Spencer had never expected to be quite as good of friends with Toby as she had become that summer. But she really had no one to hang out with. It was either go to the beach with him, or intern at her dad's law firm. Not that it was a bad thing to see Toby in nothing but a bathing suit every day.

_And now I'm itching for the tall grass  
And longing for the breeze  
I need to step outside  
Just to see if I can breathe  
I gotta find a way out  
Maybe there's a way out._

"It's just weird. I mean the only time you two would ever talk was when you were with me and Caleb - even then you seemed to pay more attention to Caleb. I just never thought you two had that much in common? I mean you're little-miss Harvard bound and he's a nice guy and all, but he's going to community college next year."

"Yeah, I didn't think we had that much in common either. Until a certain someone bailed on me and front row tickets to Elvis Costello, and forced me to take him." Spencer eyed Hanna knowingly.

"Hey my plans were last minute! I would have loved to go with you."

"… yeah, yeah I know it was a once in a lifetime trip, I get it. I would have done the same thing to you."

Hanna had felt so guilty to bail on Spencer, but when Caleb told her about his mom's offer, she couldn't say no. Who says no to a summer in Europe with their boyfriend? So when Caleb told her to ask Toby if he would take her place, she called him immediately. Having great taste in music, Toby couldn't deny taking the free ticket –especially front row? It was an offer too good to resist.

It was only a matter of time before Toby and Spencer were bonding over more than music. They soon realized they had a lot of other things in common as well. Things like how no matter how hard either of them tries, neither of them are ever going to be good enough to meet their parents expectations. And how they both have siblings that overshadow every accomplishment they ever had. Neither of them had ever met someone who had understood these challenges quite so well. Sure, their friends understood and were sympathetic, but their friends never experienced it to know how badly it sucked to always be second best.

_I'm walking on a tightrope  
I'm wrapped up in vines  
I think we'll make it out  
But you just gotta give me time  
Strike me down with lightning  
Let me feel you in my veins  
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain_

Laughter filled the night air as the group bonded with stories of the summer. They stayed out there until the fire was about to go out only to leave the dancing fireflies to light up the night sky.

Spencer was listening to Hanna talk about getting lost in Paris due to a cab driver who didn't speak a word of english, when she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm going to head out soon. I have to be up early; Jenna needs me to be her personal slave tomorrow. Do you need a ride?" Spencer inhaled the heavenly scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of smoke.

"Yeah, just let me say goodbye to Hanna."

As Toby drove down Spencer's street, he thought back to three months ago. Three months ago it would have been weird to be driving her home. Hell, he didn't even know where she lived until he picked her up to go to the concert. He never wanted to forget this summer. After the concert, they spent almost every day together.

_Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer  
Do you know you're unlike any other?  
You'll always be my thunder, and I said  
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors  
I don't wanna ever love another  
You'll always be my thunder_

He hoped it would stay that way, he couldn't bear going back to school and pretending this summer didn't exist. He loved going to the beach with her, staying up late watching scary movies. She always pretended not to be scared but he always saw through her charade.

_And I said  
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer  
Do you know you're unlike any other?  
You'll always be my thunder  
_

He never met anyone who understood him quite so well. It took him so long to realize it; he didn't want to lose her friendship. But there were complications, like everything else in his life. Without complications, the world would be flat instead of round and love would be a daily occurrence instead of a once in a lifetime event. But if there was one thing Toby was sure of, it was that he would never fall in love. He saw what love did to his parents, and he was sure he would never let that happen to him.

_So bring on the rain  
Oh baby bring on the pain  
And listen to the thunder_

* * *

**pssst. in case you didn't know, I'm not marlene king, nor am I martin johnson, therefore i hold no rights to pretty little liars, or to the song "Thunder". also in the future i hold no rights to any other songs i quote in this story.  
**

**Again, it doesn't matter if it's nice, mean, funny, random, or critical. If you write a review i'll love you forever :)**


	2. Light a Roman Candle with Me

**Hi, I was really happy to see the positive responses to the first chapter! I wrote the second one as quickly as I could due to the requests to update soon. This chapter was inspired by Light a Roman Candle with Me by Fun. just so you know I have such a large variety of music on my ipod, my taste varies so much. So expect a lot of different types of music in this story. I hope you really enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Light a Roman Candle with Me**

_Light a roman candle with me.  
Just a roman candle,  
You can wear your sandals  
And I'll pour you just one cup of tea.  
Then you can go and rest  
You haven't seen my best, so..._

"Stop it! I can feel you starring at me!" Spencer scowled at Toby, trying her best to hide the smile that hadn't left her face since Toby picked her up in his rusty old truck to listen to the enchanting melody presented by Elvis Costello.

"C'mon, how much longer can you just lay out here? Let's do something more than pretend to nap in the sun's harmful rays."

"Oh, please. You weren't complaining when we spent the entire day lying on the beach last week. We didn't even go into the water." Spencer replied. She and Toby had spent many relaxing days lying out at the beach over the course of the summer. That was one of the things Spencer enjoyed most about hanging out with Toby, they could do nothing all day and she would still never get bored.

Today she was intent on soaking up every last ounce of sun she could before the cool fall breeze would take the place of the summer's warmth and replace it with the stress of AP classes, college applications and scholarship papers waiting to be written. Toby on the other hand, didn't want to waste one of the last beautiful summer days of freedom. He found himself hovering over Spencer, begging her to get off her lazy ass so they could ease his boredom.

She was laying out on one of the beach chairs surrounding the pool her family never seemed to use. It was there more for show really, just another way to show off their money and success –as if the extravagant house with a driveway that felt like a go-kart track every time Spencer drove up it didn't prove it enough.

"Well, that was last week, summer still felt like an eternity. This is our last weekend before we have to get the life sucked out of us from the jail cell they call a classroom." He retorted.

"Well if you gave me more of a warning that you were coming to kidnap me on my last chance to soak up some rays, maybe I would be a little more reasonable." She replied sternly as she turned over to lie on her stomach, making sure her tan wouldn't be awkwardly uneven.

"Oh, I see how it is. You text me to hang out and suddenly I'm a kidnapper?"

"Yeah, pretty much." She replied, the glimmer in her eyes hiding beneath her sunglasses. Talking to Toby was so easy; she didn't know how she didn't see it before. She never thought she could find it fun to argue with someone before Toby came into her life.

_Just spend an evening with me.  
Just a lazy evening,  
Then you could be leaving  
Or we could stay and talk until three.  
I will think it's magic and I'll hope you'll agree, so..._

Growing tired of Spencer's refusal to his pleas, Toby decided to take action into his own hands as he quickly scooped Spencer up, easily managing her light figure in his arms.

"Toby! What are you doing?!" Spencer shrieked.

Toby hugged her body close to his as he responded, "Just fulfilling my duty as the designated kidnapper."

"Ok. Fine, we can do anything you want! Just put me down! We can watch the rest of that movie we fell asleep to the other night, or we can go to the beach! Name your price! Just put me down already!" she pleaded.

"Hmm… I'm willing to take your suggestions into consideration Miss Hastings, but it's just so hot out. I think I might just take a quick dip in the pool."

"You wouldn't dare!" Spencer shrieked as Toby ran off to the deep end of the pool. Spencer braced herself while gripping onto Toby as if the situation was life or death. Suddenly Spencer and Toby were submerged into cool water that felt like ice compared to the August heat. Toby held onto Spencer until he felt his feet touch the bottom. Spencer fought to herself from his muscular arms as they began to float back up to shore.

_Light a roman candle with me.  
Just a roman candle.  
Just a perfect apple._

Toby knew jumping into the water with Spencer would piss her off, but he wasn't aware that she wasn't afraid to go down without a fight. As soon as Spencer spotted Toby's head come up to obtain much needed oxygen, she quickly pounced on top of him, holding him underneath the aqua water for a few seconds.

"Hey!" Toby shouted as his body shot up again, gasping for air.

"Hi." Spencer waved back at him, teasing him with a guilty smile plastered on her face. She made sure to swim far enough away that she was out of his dunking range.

"I don't think I like this side of you. You fight dirty." Toby stated, a twisted smile encountering his face.

"You started it!" Spencer shot back.

Before Toby had a chance to respond, his phone buzzed on a small table residing next to the now empty pool chair Spencer was relaxing on a few minutes prior.

"Shit. I bet you ten bucks it's the Wicked Bitch of the West."

Toby speedily climbed out of the pool, now clad in his soaking wet clothes that clung to his muscular back.

_Light a roman candle with me.  
Just a roman candle.  
Just a perfect apple._

Spencer looked away quickly trying her best not to blush, before he could notice her stare.

"So, does the Wicked Bitch need the Wizard?" Spencer asked, taking her time making her way to the ladder that allowed her escape from the cool water.

"Um..not quite." Toby was momentarily distracted by the goddess slowly emerging from the pool. Water dripping off her sun kissed skin. Her bikini exposed just barely too much skin, especially her boobs. Toby gulped involuntarily before forcing himself to look back at his phone so he could respond to the text.

"Well who is it then?" Spencer questioned, using the towel she was laying on earlier to dry off before wrapping it snuggly around her waist.

"Oh. Just... you know Mona…" For some reason he couldn't understand, Toby felt awkward talking to Spencer about his girlfriend. It didn't make sense. They've all hung out together before. Hell, they all were at a bonfire in the beginning of the summer before all their friends parted ways.

"Oh. Right…right. Mona. Right…she's coming home soon right?" Spencer inquired. She had no why she felt the need to keep on saying _right_ every other worse. She didn't really know what to say. Toby hadn't talked about Mona much, and Spencer never felt the need to bring her up. Spencer and Mona weren't exactly what you would call 'friends.'

"Yeah, she just boarded her plane." Mona had ditched Toby as soon as her parents had offered to take her to the Hamptons for the summer. Not that Toby really minded, Mona spent a lot of time thinking about herself, and required a lot of attention. He knew it was wrong, but he needed a break from her. They had been dating for about six months.

Mona had come across with the reputation of being easy and desperate over her high school years. Toby found himself feeling the same way at a party once.

Earlier that day his parents had made him feel like a worthless piece of shit as report cards came in the mail. His grades weren't even that bad. He was passing every class with at least a C average, but his step-sister Jenna's report card unfortunately came the same day. She was a year older and had nothing but straight A's –even in all her AP classes. And so the comparisons began. His parents ended up grounding him. He wasn't doing anything wrong though and he knew that. He was trying his best in every class, he did all of his homework and studied for hours for every test. He was so sure that this semester would be different from every other one. But yet again his best wasn't enough.

So that night Caleb helped him sneak out so he could blow off steam at a party and drown his sorrows in beer.

Looking back, he might think he had one too many though, as he ended up having sex with Mona Vanderwaal. He even accidently exchanged phone numbers with her, not thinking straight. When he came out of his drunken state, he realized what a mistake he made as he knew she would now be clingy as all hell.

However, he found himself fooling around with her behind the bleachers the next week at school. The previous night Toby's father had blamed Toby for not looking after Jenna when she came home from her boyfriend Garret Reynolds's house drunk. Like he even gave one fuck what Jenna did? It was her life, and she was just as quick to blame Toby for her problems as their parents were.

And so the cycle continued and Toby found himself in bed with Mona whenever he needed comfort. Toby wasn't sure if they had ever agreed to make things official. One day he was single and free to do as he pleased, the next he was surprised to be introduced to Mona's friends as her boyfriend.

It wasn't that he didn't like Mona. She was a decent girlfriend; she did most of the talking when they were together which made it easy for him to not have to pay much attention to what she was saying. Besides, he knew he could always shut her up by a quick kiss that rapidly escalated into something more, if he ever got tired of her talking. They had fun together though, probably because most of their relationship revolved around sex.

"Right. Is she going to Noel Kahn's end of summer party?" Spencer asked.

"Most likely." This was by far the most awkward conversation Toby's ever had with Spencer. Usually things are so light and easy.

_If we were honest  
And both wrote a sonnet  
Together a sandwich with everything on it,  
At least we would know  
That the sparks didn't glow  
But we owe it to ourselves to try,  
So we aim and ignite!_

"Ok, well what do you want to do until she gets back then?" Spencer questioned.

A devilish grin entered Toby's face, "hmmm… I was thinking another swim would sound good."

"Don't even think about it." Spencer growled. She was not about to be flung into the pool again against her will.

Toby let out a light laugh. He loved when Spencer tried to be intimidating, most of the time it didn't work on him, as it was always more cute than scary.

_So often I call and I plead with you:  
"Give me a chance!"  
It's not often that I understand  
The ins and the outs of what's wrong and what's right.  
So don't think of tomorrow tonight._

"How about lunch then?" He suggested. Both were thankful that their conversation had shifted and was much less awkward now that they were back to their light-hearted joking around.

"Yes please! Let just change and then we can go get pizza?"

"Sounds great. But just what am I supposed to do about my wet clothes?" Toby looked down at the pair of soaked shorts and shirt that clung to his body.

"I guess you should have thought about that beforeyou decided to take me hostage into the pool." Spencer replied with a wink.

"Really that's it? Don't make me throw you in again." He threatened, raising his eyebrows.

"Fine. We'll stop at your house on the way. I'll be back in a sec." Spencer said before scurrying off into the house to change into dry clothes.

_Oh, I know, it goes on, it gets old  
But for now we're young, we smell good, we're alone, so alive._

Toby waited patiently for Spencer, sitting on a bench when he heard her phone start buzzing on a nearby table. He was tempted to answer, but not wanting to disrespect her privacy, decided better against it. Toby laid back on the chair covered his eyes with his aviator sunglasses and looked up at the sun.

He wished the summer would last longer. He wasn't ready for the stress of the upcoming school year. He had no idea what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, let alone what he wanted to do after he graduated. He knew that there was no way he could get into any really good colleges. Maybe he would just work as a mechanic at his Uncle's dealership, or he could join his cousin working in construction. But neither of these plans really left Toby feeling excited, they only made him dread the start of the school year even more.

His thoughts were disrupted by the sound of Spencer's phone yet again. He glanced over at it. She had twelve missed messages from Andrew. As soon as he read the name, his breath hitched in his throat, and his mind began to race.

Spencer and Andrew had gone out since sophomore year. Everyone thought they were perfect for each other. He was Class President, and she was vice. He was ranked number one in their class, she was number two. Both were headed for Ivy League next year and would most likely become highly successful.

But for some reason, Toby never thought that highly as Andrew. In fact, he thought he was an asshole. Andrew always had to be the best at everything and had to prove everyone wrong. He also enjoyed picking on people who he believed to be inferior. Andrew tried to make fun of Toby once after he saw Toby had nearly failed a Spanish test, but Toby gave him such a stern look, Andrew quickly took back his words.

Andrew's parents weren't much better. They were almost as bad as Spencer's, the way they flaunted their money around. It made Toby sick. They spent so much on their own child; he had a custom Mercedes Benz, only wore designer clothes, and thought nothing about dropping ten thousand dollars on another meaningless purchase while ignoring the fact that the money he spent on a pair of shoes could buy a hungry child dinner for a year. How could people be so ignorant? That's what's wrong with the world, Toby decided. Ignorance.

Toby had no idea what Spencer had seen in the douche bag. That summer, he found such a different side to her, he wasn't sure if Andrew was wise enough to look past the 4.0 GPA to see the girl who had dreams greater than the world was offering her.

_You look for a legend,  
I'm looking for common ground.  
Your heart isn't breaking,  
And mine isn't making a sound._

"Just let me grab my phone, then we can go." Spencer appeared through the wrought iron gate surrounding the pool. Her hair was braided to the side as she looked effortless in just a white tank top and cut-off shorts. She took a quick glance at her phone, and Toby swore he saw her try to avoid rolling her eyes as she picked it up and threw it in her bag.

_Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old  
Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old, so..._

"So, when does Andrew get back from his big-shot internship in D.C.?" Toby hesitantly questioned.

"I'm not sure what time exactly, but later today. I think he wants to be home for Noel's party." Spencer answered lightly. "C'mon, I'm starving. And if you don't change fast, I'm ordering the pizza with pineapples and garlic crust." Spencer was quick to change the subject. She was already halfway to Toby's truck.

"That's disgusting. I can't believe you like your pizza like that." Toby shouted after her.

"It's the best!" She argued.

Toby laughed lightly to himself. "That's still gross."

"You ate half of the pizza I ordered like that last time!" Spencer was getting ready to climb into his truck.

"Yeah, well. I was hungry." Toby reasoned before sprinting after her. He knew if he didn't catch up with her soon, she would sit in the driver's seat and beg to drive his truck. That would be an even bigger disaster than her choice in pizza as she had no clue how to drive a stick. Toby fought her for his keys and began the journey down the twisting road the Hastings call a driveway.

_Light a roman candle with me.  
Just a roman candle.  
Just a perfect apple._

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading! it means the world to me! Please feel free to comment and review. Don't feel bad to give me a shitty review, if you hate it let me know! it can only help me improve :) **

**psst. if you like i'd really like to know too ;)**


	3. Cough Syrup

**Guess who's the worst person ever because they don't update? Yeah, that'd be me. **

**Sorry about that guys, I know it's been forever, but my life has been hectic right now to say the least. I haven't had time to think let alone time to write which sucks. Unfortunately, I'm still going to be this busy for the next couple of months, so I'm going to try to update when I can, but it may not be as often as you may like, so I'm sorry in advance. Hopefully, this chapter is better than the last two, I know I read through them and found so many mistakes, so hopefully this one is much better. The song this chapter was inspired by is Cough Syrup by Young the Giant, they're great. If you haven't heard of them I strongly suggest checking them out. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Cough Syrup**

_Life's too short to even care at all. Woah._

Lights glow as bright as fireflies swarming the dark summer night. Compared to the rest of the houses on the block, Noel Kahn's stood out like a shooting star in night sky. Music flowed into the cool night air as it escaped from the dwelling filled with restless teenagers. As Hanna and Spencer walked into the house, giddy excitement filled their stomachs. It was the last weekend of summer and the girls were excited to make the most of it.

Noel Kahn had hosted an End-of-Summer Party, or 'Welcome to Hell Party' as he put it, every year since their freshmen year. This party always ended up being the craziest of the summer, it was almost as though the youth in Rosewood were holding in all their energy and waiting to let their crazy go until the last possible second before the school year commenced.

As the two girls stepped inside the threshold, they could barely get the door open with the amount of people packed into the front room, like a bunch of sardines.

"Holy shit!" Hanna exclaimed, "Looks like Noel decided to step it up a notch this year."

"I'll say." Spencer agreed, shoving past people in an attempt to get some breathing room. They found their way to the kitchen and made a bee-line for the keg sitting on the counter.

_I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control  
These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh_

"Thanks, you have no idea how badly I need a drink after this afternoon filled with Hastings-Family-Bounding time." Spencer said, taking a sip of the foamy liquid.

"Your parents?" For as long as Hanna had known Spencer, Spencer's parents have put a crazy amount of pressure on her. They claimed they were preparing her for 'the Real World,' but it seemed that could only be true if the 'Real World' consisted of the entire nation competing for three-spots into Harvard.

The two friends met when Hanna first moved to Rosewood with her Mom after her parents' ugly divorce. They had only been in the third grade, but clicked instantly as they bonded over sharing a box of crayons and their favorite Disney Channel shows.

"No, it was Melissa's turn to torture me today. All I heard today was 'why can't you be more like Melissa.' I swear she only shows off to my parents right in front of me just to make sure she's the favorite. God knows Jason's out of the competition after the little stunt he pulled at my parents' anniversary party last year. "

Ever since Spencer could remember, her parents had always compared her to her perfect sister Melissa. Melissa was fulfilling her prophecy as she was currently a med student at Harvard –exactly what their parents had planned for her to be since before she was born. She always did what their parents wanted and as a result, they often sided with her.

Spencer often wished she could be more like her brother Jason. He was only two year older, compared to Melissa who was five, and they were extremely close. He was even dating one of Spencer's close friends, Aria.

_Oh oh oh oh  
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum  
Oh_

What Spencer admired most about her brother wasn't the way he always took the time to listen to her or play the role of the protective big brother. It was the way that he never seemed to care what their parents wanted him to do. The Hastings had laid out a careful roadmap for each of their three children to follow, with each map ending with ridiculously successful careers and degrees only from Ivy League schools. But Jason never cared about the money the Hastings often shoved down people's throats. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and therefore he decided to put himself through school at Penn State to become a teacher. Spencer wished she could gather the courage to go after her dreams like Jason did.

"I wouldn't put it past her. How is Jason by the way?" Hanna always liked Jason; he seemed to be the only member of Spencer's family she could tolerate most of the time.

"He's good. I hardly see him anymore since he doesn't like to come home too often. Everytime he does, my parents try to convince him it's not too late to become a senator. But I don't want to think about this stuff anymore, I need a drink so I can forget about this crap." Spencer was tired of dealing with her parent. Tired of the pressure, Spencer wasn't sure how much more she could take before she reached her breaking point.

_If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down_

"I can think of someone who can make you forget." Hanna nodded at Toby as he entered the room. It looked like he'd just arrived and was obviously on the hunt for beer.

"Really Hanna? He has a girlfriend." Spencer rolled her eyes. Even as she pointed this out to Hanna, she somehow couldn't help but feel a hint of excitement at his arrival. She had spent most of the morning with him before both were forced to part ways and deal with their scrutinizing families.

"And you have a boyfriend. It's funny how you keep forgetting about that." Hanna wasn't the biggest fan of Andrew; it seemed to Hanna that he never really put in much of an effort to take the time to get to know not only Spencer, but her friends too. To her he seemed like someone to date just to please Spencer's parents, not the love of Spencer's life by any means.

_Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue_

"Hey, long time no see." Toby said as he approached the two girls.

"Hey," Hanna responded quickly, "where's Mona?" Spencer gave Hanna a warning glance.

"She's around here somewhere," Toby responded, "I'm supposed to be getting her something to drink actually." Or at least this was the excuse Toby used to get a second of breathing room away from her. Her plane landed only about four hours earlier and she and spent every second she could trying to spend time with him. It was as though her clinginess only magnified throughout their summer apart.

As if on cue Mona walked up beside Toby and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Hey you weren't talking about me were you?" Mona teased hugging him closer to her tiny body.

"We were just wondering how your summer was." Hanna responded quickly.

Spencer was grateful in that moment for Hanna's presence and quick thinking as Spencer couldn't will herself to speak. Both her mind and body were going through a wave of confusion of emotions, which ironically only added to her confusion as she couldn't figure out why she was feeling so confused. It was a circle with no end.

_These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart  
Oh oh oh oh  
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun oh oh_

"The Hamptons is so beautiful this time of year, only the best of the best can afford to rent a house for the entire summer though. You wouldn't believe how crazy the past couple of months were. One minute I was lying at the beach drinking a long-island iced tea, the next I was at Dakota Fanning's pool party. You really should go there sometime, although you probably wouldn't be able to go for the entire summer. But if you do, make sure you tell me so I can maybe sweet talk a discount for you…" Mona rambled on and on and on.

For a second Spencer was worried she would die before Mona's story ended. Eventually Spencer tuned her out and instead focused her attention on Toby. He looked as though he was as interested in Mona's story as Spencer was, his eyes glazed over without interest as he listened to Mona.

"…Dakota is the sweetest girl I've ever met! And the shopping there is unbelievable! There's Chanel, Tiffany's, and Burberry all on one street! I was in heaven I swear."

Before Mona could continue on her rants, a tall figure appeared before Spencer. Tall and handsome, Spencer gulped involuntarily as Andrew approached her.

_If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now_

"Spencer, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you. I've been trying to call you all day, and you haven't been answering my texts."

"I'm so sorry, my phone must be dead –"

" –don't even. I really don't care about your excuses, when I call you should answer, that's what good girlfriends do." Andrew cut her off sharply.

"I'm sorry Andrew." Spencer pleaded again.

"I'm sure you are. Just forget about it and me okay? I need a drink, go get me one." Andrew practically demanded.

Spencer nodded solemnly and quickly headed for the keg. Just as she was out of hearing range, Toby looked Andrew up and down, "that wasn't cool dude. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that."

"It's my girlfriend; I choose how I treat her. Why don't you just worry about your own Barbie doll?" Andrew declared, eyeing Toby threateningly.

Before Toby had a chance to respond, Spencer handed Andrew his drink.

_And so I run now to the things they said could restore me  
Restore life the way it should be  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down_

"Hey babe, why don't we find someplace a little less crowded so you can tell me about your summer," Andrew flashed a smile at Spencer. Toby rolled his eyes as Spencer smiled in reply, looking noticeable less tense than she did seconds prior.

"Can you believe that guy? How could she fall for such a dick?" Toby wondered aloud as Andrew and Spencer meandered through the wave of people toward the living room.

"I think it has something to do with her parents' expectations. You know, how they want her to date another ivy-league bound rich kid. But the better question is why do you care?" Hanna questioned, giving him a knowing look.

Toby quickly looked at Mona, realizing she wasn't paying attention to their conversation as she was scanning the crowd, he decided it was safe to respond, "I don't care, she can date anyone she wants to, I'd just expect her to have a little better judgment in the guys she dates."

"And what type of guy do you think she should date?" Hanna inquired, knowing that she was pushing Toby's buttons.

"I can't think about this anymore, I need a stronger drink." Toby declared. Before Hanna had a chance to respond, he strutted toward the keg looking at the various bottle of liquor next to it.

Toby picked up his red solo cup, poured in some tequila and quickly downed it. The raw liquid burned his throat. Just when he thought he had a minute of peace, he felt Mona wrap her finger around his arm.

_Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control_

"Baby, there you are, I thought I lost you!"

"Nah, I just needed a stronger drink." Toby looked down at his girlfriend for what felt like the first time that day. A wave of guilt washed over him as he realized what a dick he had been to her. Maybe they weren't the world's ideal couple, but Mona was his girlfriend and still deserved some respect.

"So did you miss me this summer?" Mona tightened her grasp on him.

"Of course," Toby stated, leaning down to give Mona kiss, when he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. In the hallway between the kitchen and the living room were Spencer and Andrew making out. Toby turned away quickly bumping his head against Mona's.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Mona exclaimed, looking astonished that Toby turned her kiss down.

"I just need another drink," Toby stammered. At this point he was feeling a little buzzed, but that wasn't good enough for him. He just wanted to drink and forget. Forget about his encounter with Andrew, his negligence for Mona, the weird remarks Hanna had said to him, but more of all forget about the way he felt –like the wind got knocked out of him –when he saw Spencer and Andrew together.

_If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now_

Spencer's body felt like it was overheating as Andrew had her pinned up against a wall. His lips devoured hers, as though he had starved himself for the past couple of months. But there was something off in the way he was kissing her; it was sloppier and rougher than she remembered.

"Hey," Spencer tried to push him off of her so she could catch her breath.

"C'mon Spence, didn't you miss me?" Andrew grinned as he leaned down to connect their lips once again.

"Of course I missed you." Spencer stated pushing Andrew off of her once more.

"Then prove it." Andrew had a strange glimmer in his eye that Spencer had never seen before.

"Andrew, there's so many people here." Spencer wasn't certain as to what Andrew was referring to, but she was sure whatever it is she didn't want to do in such a crowded setting.

"Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do, just not now."

Over Andrew's shoulder, Spencer eyed Toby and Mona with interlaced fingers; headed for a long narrow hallway she was certain held nothing but bedrooms. Before Spencer realized what she was doing, she pushed Andrew off of her altogether and rushed off. She didn't know what had come over her –all she knew was that she needed air to breath.

_So I run now to the things they said could restore me  
Restore life the way it should be_

She spotted Hanna in the living room, talking to their friend Emily.

"Can we get out of here?" Spencer rushed out.

"What's wrong Spencer?" Emily looked concerned.

"I just need to get out of here." Spencer gasped.

Hanna nodded quickly and took Spencer's arm as she led the way back out the front entrance to her car, Emily quickly following them. As soon as they were outside, Spencer leaned against Hanna's car and took in several deep breathes.

"What happened?" Emily inquired.

"It's nothing; I think I just drank too much." Spencer reasoned, shaking her head. In truth, Spencer had no idea what had washed over her. One second she was kissing her boyfriend, the next he felt as though she was going to puke.

"What happened to Andrew?" a deep look of concern in Hanna's eyes.

"Oh, shit. I left him in there, I just sort of ran away from him."

"Why?" Emily and Hanna were trying to connect the dots, but nothing seemed to make sense.

"I don't know, he did nothing wrong! I just... I just… I just don't know what happened." Spencer couldn't understand what she was feeling.

_I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down_

"We'll drive you home; you probably just had too much to drink. Text Andrew and tell him your alright." Hanna ordered.

Spencer nodded as she followed her friends' instructions.

_One more spoon of cough syrup now_

Later that night, as Spencer lay in bed, she couldn't figure out what had come over her. She didn't even feel buzzed now. So much had happened in such a short time. Now that Andrew was back in town, her friendship with Toby seemed odd. It was as though she couldn't really be herself with Toby at the party like she could earlier that day. For some reason she felt guilty too, even though she knew she had nothing to feel guilty for. She wasn't sure she could be Andrew's girlfriend and Toby's friend at the same time, but she knew she wasn't ready to lose either of them yet.

_One more spoon of cough syrup now_

* * *

**I just want to thank you so much for taking your time to read my story! It means the world to me :) If you wouldn't mind taking a few more seconds out of your day to write a review I'll love you forever :) it can be good or bad I really don't care, either way it will only help me to improve :)**_  
_


	4. Watching You Watch Him

**I just wanted to start off by thanking you guys for all the positive feedback this story has received! I tried to write this chapter as quickly as possible, so please excuse any mistakes. This chapter was inspired by the song "Watching You Watch Him" by Eric Hutchinson. Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Watching You Watching Him**

_**I love you  
From the bottom of my heart  
And that's not gonna change but things look grim  
When I am watching you watch him**_

The last few days of summer passed by quickly and uneventfully for Spencer, between dealing with her family's tedious expectations and last minute preparations for the first day of school Spencer barely had time to breathe. She hadn't seen Toby since the party which struck her as odd; they had hung out every day that summer and talked constantly. Hell, he practically knew her every thought, now there was not even a text in the past week. It was true that Mona was back, but that didn't mean that they couldn't talk anymore, did it? Now that the first day of school had arrived Spencer wasn't sure what to think.

The first half the day had been stressful to say the least. Spencer had been in school for four hours and she already had three tests to study for and a paper due in a week. Not surprisingly, she had been looking forward to lunch all day, as it presented a chance to finally relax from her laborious classes and talk to her friends.

Spencer took a seat at her and her friends' usual table in the middle of the cafeteria; she was the first one to arrive as she had practically run out of her AP English class.

"Hey, what's up?" Aria sat down across from her.

"Oh, you know, just almost having a panic attack at my work load on the first day of school –so the usual." Spencer retorted.

"Yeah, sounds about right," Emily chimed in as a she took a seat next to Aria.

"How was Paris?" Spencer was insanely jealous when Aria told her she had the opportunity to intern that summer with a photographer in Paris. Spencer had always wished to see the world as she never got much of a chance to get out of Rosewood. Her parents traveled often for work, but never bothered to take time off to venture on a family vacation.

"It was beautiful, especially this time of year. I just wish Jason could have come with me, but you know how busy he was taking classes over the summer so he could graduate early."

_**I give you  
the best a man can hope to give  
But I'm not feeling brave chances are slim  
When I am watching you watch him**_

"You would not believe the day I've had," Hanna interrupted as she slammed her lunch tray on the table and took a seat. "The dipshit counselors put me in _gym. _I never signed up for this bullshit. Now I'm stuck starting off my day with my hair guaranteed to be ruined every morning by a bunch of freshmen throwing dodge-balls at me."

"Uh, Hanna, you have to take gym to graduate," Spencer pointed out.

"So that's why this place is called hell."Hanna rolled her eyes.

"Hey, have you seen Toby?" Spencer looked around but hadn't seen him yet, it almost felt as though he was avoiding her.

"He was in my History class today, so he has to be around here somewhere," Emily stated.

"Why?" Hanna asked Spencer point-blankly.

"Why, what?" Spencer avoided the question.

"Why do you want to know where he is?"

"It's just weird. We haven't talked in almost a week and he hasn't been answering my texts. We haven't really talked since the party and things got kind of weird there, that's all. But I'm sure it's probably just a misunderstanding." Spencer reasoned.

Hanna rolled her eyes and chuckled, "he's probably just jealous."

Spencer almost spit out the water she was drinking as she started coughing involuntarily. Finally, when she could make out words, she mumbled, "yeah, right. What would he be jealous of?"

"I don't know, maybe it was you and Andrew making out in the middle of a crowded room?" Emily pointed out.

"Not you too," Spencer shook her head. "You guys saw that?"

"I think the astronauts saw it from mars," Hanna pointed out.

"If only there _were_ astronauts on mars," Aria sided with Spencer.

"You know what I meant. But anyways, maybe you don't see it Spence, but it's beyond obvious to the rest of the world how much Toby likes you. He's probably just as confused about his feeling as you are and is probably trying to figure out how to fit the life he had with you this summer, in with the life he had with Mona last year." Hanna always gave Spencer the best advice, even if Spencer didn't want to believe it to be true.

_**What is left to learn?  
When he would let you crash and burn  
He never gives attention but you still yearn  
Where do I fit in?  
When I am watching you watch him**_

"I'm still not too sure about that theory you have. I mean if he did like me like that, why didn't he say something all summer?" Spencer questioned.

"Who say what?" Caleb squeezed in between Hanna and Emily, looking curious at the girls' conversation.

"Nothing," Spencer quickly stammered, giving Hanna a sharp warning look.

Just then, Toby finally decided to show up for lunch, looking around the cafeteria as if unsure where to sit. Before Spencer could stop her, Hanna stood up waving her hands in the air yelling out his name. Feeling utterly embarrassed Spencer ducked her head down as Toby headed for their table. At the same time, Andrew entered the cafeteria and made a beeline for Spencer.

"Hey guys," Toby took a seat on the other side of Caleb.

"Hi Toby," Hanna exclaimed with almost too much enthusiasm.

"Hey baby," Andrew cooed as he approached the table. Toby resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Hey," Spencer got up from her seat as she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick peck. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Yeah, I just came over to give you a gift," he handed her a little blue bag from Tiffany's. "I got it for you when I was interning in D.C., but forgot to give it to you."

Toby had a difficult time concealing his eye roll this time. How could Andrew forget to give his girlfriend a gift he got over a week ago? It seemed like the whole world except Spencer was aware that Andrew's sole motive was to mark his territory.

Spencer on the other hand, was shocked to say the least, Andrew never gave her presents. On their anniversary last year his idea of a gift was a room key at the local Motel 6 –no special dinner, not even flowers, just simple expectations. Spencer was furious to say the least, but at least he remembered their anniversary that year, he always forgot the date or simply didn't bother wasting his time to pick out a gift in the years prior. And he did the same thing for her birthday every year since they started dating, so this random gift seemed extraordinary to Spencer.

Spencer quickly took the package from him and opened it. Hanna's eyes lit up as Spencer uncovered a silver locket. "It's beautiful! Here, put it on me," Spencer awed, "here, have a seat," she patted down on the seat next to her.

_**God only knows why I still wait around  
Except I hate to see you cry  
And I need you  
But there are things I cannot do**_

Curious of Hanna's theory, Spencer chanced a glance at Toby, he looked down at the burger he was eating as if unfazed by the ordeal. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Spencer turned her attention back to her boyfriend. But before she could say anything, Toby cleared his throat and directed his stare at Andrew.

"How was your summer Andrew?" he spoke at a level slightly louder than necessary.

"It was pretty hectic, I spent most of the time shadowing senators and helping them with their work. But I'm sure you wouldn't be interested in politics, it's far too convoluted for you. However, I do wish I could have spent more time with my beautiful girlfriend, but hey, you know plenty about that, don't you Toby?" Andrew replied slyly, not daring to take his eyes off Toby as he put his arm around Spencer's shoulders as if marking his territory.

"I'm sure. And how are your parents?"

"They're assiduous as always. It's enervative, running major corporations. They're looking into extending our property next year. And how are your parents Toby? Still working so hard for so little?"

"Andrew!" Spencer scolded.

"No, it's fine," Toby shook it off. "My parents are great. They don't need to pay people off to get what they want."

Spencer narrowed her eyes at Toby furiously, but he didn't seem to notice her growing fury.

"Are you insinuating something?" Andrew looked as though he wanted to bite Toby's head off, while Toby looked surprisingly calm and collected.

"No, nothing at all," Toby stated as he took another bite of his burger.

After what felt like an eternity rather than a few short minutes, Andrew finally put an end to the awkward silence surrounding the table as he turned his attention away from the stare down with Toby to his girlfriend. Toby watched on as Andrew encompassed Spencer's hand with his.

Before he could comprehend what was going on, a twinge of jealously escalated through Toby's entire being. _He_ wanted to be the one to hold Spencer's hand. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to kiss her perfect lips. But most of all, he wanted to cherish every part of her, and every part that Andrew took for granted.

_**I want you  
When he's playing all his games  
And it gets hard to tell who's the victim  
When I am watching you watch him**_

"Well what do you think Toby?" Suddenly awoken from his day-dream, his thoughts burned like fire in his veins. He gulped, "think about what?"

"Weren't you listened," Hanna's annoyance had obviously heightened to an all-time high since her stressful morning in gym, "We want to have a party on the hill this weekend, are you in or not?"

"Yeah, sounds great," and with Toby's reply, the bell rang as the students were released from lunch.

As the cafeteria turned into a mob scene with teenagers rushing to their lockers so they won't be late for class, Spencer quickly turned to give Andrew a quick kiss goodbye before running to catch up with Toby.

Spencer yelled after him several times, but he didn't bother to turn around. It wasn't until she followed him into an empty hallway she had a chance to catch up with him.

"Hey, what was that about?" Spencer grabbed Toby's arm, his back still turned away from her.

"I was just trying to get to know your boyfriend better, is that such a crime?" Toby turned around quickly, his arm felt as though it was burning with her touch. Moments later, Toby regretted his sharp reaction, as Spencer looked taken aback by his response. He shook his head and looked at his shoes, ashamed for his behavior.

"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Toby took in a deep breath in an attempted to steady his racing thoughts, "I just… I just don't know what I was thinking, okay? He just gets under my skin sometimes."

Folding her arms over her stomach, Spencer narrowed her eyes as her anger heightened. "He's my _boyfriend_ Toby. I don't care if you two think differently, you could at least _try_ to get along with him. It's like you didn't even give him a chance!" Spencer scolded, still unsure what to think about the situation.

"Spencer, Rosewood is a small town, we all grew up together. I think I know him well enough." Toby spat.

"That's not what I'm asking. _Try_ to get along or don't _try_ to talk to me at all. I don't think it'll be that hard of a decision for you –you've been not talking to me a lot lately," Spencer fired back. She turned on her heels as she walked away from the heated argument.

"Spencer, wait!" Toby called after her, but she pretended she didn't hear him.

He stood in silence as he watched her walk away, trying to process what had just erupted between them. Sure, he had said a few things to Andrew, but Andrew had been just as rude to Toby. Andrew was a jackass twenty-four seven, and yet Spencer never saw through his charade the way everyone else seemed to. It was as if Spencer purposefully ignored Andrew's flaws and forgave him without thinking twice just to keep their relationship together. How could she not see the arrogant jerk the rest of the world saw? Suddenly, a warning bell forced the question away from his tired mind, as he rushed to his chemistry class.

_**And I love you  
Like a broken record plays  
But I'm a windowpane a phantom limb  
When I am watching you watch him**_

* * *

**Thank you so much for taking the time to read my stories! Please feel free to leave any feedback, good or bad, in the comments!  
**

**I'm curious to know who you guys think is in the wrong, Toby or Spencer, or both?**

**lemme know :) **

**Next chapter, expect either Toby and Mona or Spencer and Andrew to get in a fight...stay tuned to find out who ;)**


	5. Show Me What I'm Looking For

**a/n: Hey guys, so I'm getting a lot better at this updating thing right? I'm so excited about this chapter, I worked really hard on it so I hope you like it as much as I do! The song is "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Show Me What I'm Looking For**

_**Wait, I'm wrong  
Should have done better than this**_

Confused. That was the best word Toby could think of to describe his feeling after the happenings of the day prior. Confused about Spencer's attitude toward him, confused about the fight, but most of all Toby was confused as to what to do next. Thinking back, it probably wasn't the best idea for Toby to rile Andrew up. Maybe Toby should give Andrew a chance, Spencer obviously liked him for a reason, maybe Toby just wasn't being considerate enough. For what felt like the fiftieth time that morning, Toby picked up his phone and started typing an apology to Spencer before having second thoughts and deleting the message.

_**Please, I'll be strong  
I'm finding it hard to resist  
So show me what I'm looking for**_

After a while, Caleb finally says something from the desk next to him, "You better watch it, you know how strict Mrs. Jackson is." The pair was sitting in the middle of their first class for the day, English, and the hour seemed to drag on and on as Mrs. Jackson ranted on the importance of the proper grammar use in essays.

"Since when are you such a teacher's pet?" Toby observed. Caleb was smart, but never really bothered to exert much effort in his school work, yet somehow managed to pass his classes with flying colors –something Toby had always been jealous of. Toby worked hard for his grades, even if they were sub-par.

"I just really need to pass this class to graduate and to bring up my GPA for the colleges I'm applying to," Caleb explained. Toby never really pictured Caleb as the type to get stressed about college admittance, but even he was succumbing to the pressure every high school senior faces. Toby on the other hand, preferred not to think much about his future that is until he decides what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Making plans like that freaked Toby out for some reason, for instance, what if Toby goes into medicine and realizes how much he hates being a doctor? The thought of failing to be happy in the future was what freaked Toby out the most.

As the bell announced the end of their first class for the day, Toby and Caleb collected their things before heading toward the senior lockers.

"What happened with you and Spencer and Andrew yesterday? Things looked pretty intense," Caleb observed.

"Andrew's just such a prick. I don't know what Spencer sees in him, and then she got mad at _me_ for pissing him off. I just don't get why she stays with him when he treats her like complete shit all the time, " Toby answered hastily.

"Yeah, I think I figured out what a douche bag he was the first time she brought him to a party on the hill freshmen year," Caleb agreed.

"I just don't get how everyone can see it _except _her."

"I don't know man, people can be pretty blind sometimes when they're in love I guess," Caleb reasoned. They stopped walking as Caleb spotted Hanna at her locker looking irritated. She turned the lock fiercely several times, but to no avail. "Speaking of which, boyfriend duty calls," Caleb abandoned Toby to assist his girlfriend in opening her locker.

Toby looked back and watched them. They seemed like a normal couple. Neither pressured the other like the way Andrew did to Spencer, nor did either of them get upset over silly things. They both supported each other –whether it is where they planned on going to school the next year, or simply helping to opening a locker.

_**Save me, I'm lost  
Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you  
I'll pay any cost  
Save me from being confused**_

Toby shook off his thoughts as he headed to his History class, taking a seat next to Emily; he quickly took out his notes as he realized she was glaring at him.

"What?" Toby questioned her at last.

"You tell me."

"Look, Andrew's a jackass, Spencer doesn't see it, can we all move on with our lives know?" Toby wearily answered, obviously annoyed with everyone's questions.

"Fine, fine –but Mona wanted me to ask you why you were ignoring her," Emily shrugged taking a pen and a notebook out of her backpack.

Shit. Mona.

Toby felt bad to admit it, but he had completely forgotten about Mona the past couple of days. The two had made plans for earlier that morning to meet before school, but Toby must have forgotten. He just hadn't bothered to open any texts from her either that day. It made Toby feel even worse to admit that this wasn't the first time he had forgotten about his girlfriend.

_**Show me what I'm looking for  
Show me what I'm looking for, oh, Lord**_

"Fuck, I forgot," Toby shook his head as he realized his mistake.

"Wouldn't be the first time that happened," Emily offered, "Just tell her she looks pretty, she'll get over it."

"Thanks, it's nice to know you think so highly of my girlfriend."

"Oh, shut up, you know it'll work."

"Sadly, that's probably true," Toby chuckled. For the first time since the morning before Noel's party, Toby laughed. He hadn't realized it had been that long since he _actually _laughed. It was sad it took that long, but he was grateful for a best friend as kind as Emily to bring out the best in him.

Emily's plan proved to be successful as Toby apologized to Mona at lunch and told her she looked beautiful today. He sat with her at lunch, wanting to avoid Spencer and another confrontation as much as possible. Toby didn't want to lose Spencer and their friendship, but he wanted to give her some space. Not talking to her was killing him, but he honestly didn't know what to say to her.

_**Don't let go  
I've wanted this far too long**_

Spencer must have been avoiding him as well as he hadn't even seen her all day. Toby was on his way to his last hour of the day –something he was actually good at for once: art –when he finally spotted her. At first he turned away, hoping she wouldn't notice him, until he saw the look on her face as she was talking to Andrew.

It broke Toby's heart when he saw the look in her eyes –a hearty mixture of distress, heartache, and anger. Her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks flushed as she tried to hold back tears. His mind warned him against it, but his body rushed toward her as though it was his instinct to comfort and protect her from heartbreak. But before Toby could catch her, Spencer speedily walked with purpose away from her boyfriend. It made Toby sick to see how Spencer could be so distraught, and yet Andrew seemed nonchalant, he would never forget the look on Andrew's face. Andrew simply shook his head and walked over to a couple of senior jocks, then started laughing about a joke they made. That moment proved how little Andrew actually cared about the so called love of his life.

_**Mistakes become regrets  
I've learned to love abuse **_

_**Please show me what I'm looking for**_

Not wanting to bother with a jackass because he was much more concerned with the teary-eyed brunette, Toby raced out the doors, toward the parking lot, practically running to catch up with Spencer.

"Spencer, What happened?"

Spencer kept up her pace, not bothering to look around to face Toby, "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"It's obviously not nothing. Spencer, talk to me," Toby practically begged.

"Why, so you can tell me I told you so?" Spencer suddenly stopped and turned to face him. Her eyes were bloodshot with tears, her voice was as shaky as an emotional wooden rollercoaster.

It made Toby sick to see how hurt she actually was, but it made him feel even worse that she expected him to shove her heartache in her face –something that her parents and Andrew would have done in this situation. Her emotions were always left neglected by the people who should support her the most.

"No," Toby shook his head earnestly, "So I can tell you everything's going to be okay." He pulled her close to him as she simultaneously collapsed against his chest, not having enough energy to put up a fight anymore. They stood like that for a moment, neither wanting to break away from the comfort the other provided so willingly and naturally.

After a few minutes, Toby pulled back slightly so he could see her face, "Let me drive you home ok?"

Spencer nodded, leaning in against his chest again, yearning for comfort and the protection his embrace brought.

Toby led them to his truck, opened her door and easily helped her inside before going around and taking his seat in the driver's side. He found himself hesitating before putting the keys in the ignition though, fumbling with the thoughts in his head.

"Spencer, what happened?"

She took a deep breath, looking down at her hands in her lap before responding, "We got into this stupid fight because he got jealous of something stupid. Then he told me it was my fault for pushing him away this summer, which I guess is sort of true, and that it was my fault that he slept with someone in D.C. because I pushed him away."

Toby shook his head in disbelief. How the hell could Andrew blame Spencer when he was the one who couldn't keep it in his pants?

Toby turned so his body was facing Spencer, and lifted her chin gently with his hand to force her to look at him. Brushing away her tears, Toby looked into her soft coffee eyes as he responded gently yet with meaning, "Hey, you deserve so much better. You deserve the world and the moon and the stars, and it is never your fault for his actions."

Spencer nodded slightly as she stared into Toby's eyes. She could tell he was speaking from the heart –no one had ever been so kind or so loving to her before –not even her parents. And with that thought, she found herself collapsing into Toby's embrace once more. He held her patiently, rubbing her backs, as he waited for her tears to dry. Neither one of them felt the need to speak; just to be there for each other.

_**Save me, I'm lost  
Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you  
I'll pay any cost  
Save me from being confused  
Show me what I'm looking for  
Show me what I'm looking for, oh, lord**_

Finally, Spencer's last tear dried on her face. Her voice was now raspy and her face sticky from fresh salty raindrops as she looked up to Toby and spoke for the first time in what felt like an hour, "thank you." Simple but earnest, Spencer meant it with all her heart.

"Anytime," he responded simply before putting his keys in the ignition and driving away from the school, toward the homes of Rosewood's elite. He kept one arm on the steering wheel, the other protectively wrapped around Spencer still. They remained quiet for the majority of the drive.

_**Show me what I'm looking for**_

Finally, curiosity got the best of Toby as he asked hesitantly, "Hey Spence, can I ask you one more thing?"

"Sure."

"…you said that Andrew was jealous of someone… who was it?"

Spencer shifted in her seat, pausing before daring to answer, "…I think you know who, Toby," she said quietly looking down at her hands.

And with that, Toby nodded once, before turning his attention back to the road.

_**Show me what I'm looking for**_

Driving up the Hastings' long driveway, Spencer leaned farther into Toby, not wanting to be removed from her sole source of support and comfort in that moment. Toby simply squeezed her shoulder in response. Eventually, the rusted truck came to a halt, the pair sat in silence for a moment. After gathering her courage, Spencer finally sat up right and opened the door. She hesitated however, before making her escape.

Turning back to Toby, she said "Toby, will you do one more thing for me?"

"Of course."

"Will you hang out with me tonight? I just don't want to be alone…."

"Of course," he repeated, "meet me at the Hill at eight."

Spencer nodded in agreement as she exited the vehicle.

Watching to make sure she was ok, Toby paused before starting his ignition once more. As he headed back toward the school to pick up Jenna, he wondered if things between him and Spencer would now have a chance to go back to how it was that summer. He missed seeing her every day without the complications the start of the school year brought. He never laughed as much as he had that summer, a smile always on his face. Spencer understood him like no one else he met.

_**Show me what I'm looking for**_

A beeping noise escaped from his phone, currently residing in one of the cup holders. Taking a quick glance at the road, he picked up his phone and opened a text.

**Don't forget about our date tonight boo - xoxo Mona **

Fuck. Not again, Toby thought. He knew he had a tough choice to make, but how do you choose between your best friend and your girlfriend? It somehow seemed more complicated than that though. It almost felt like Toby was being forced to choose between the comforting familiar, and something new that sent fire through his veins whenever he thought of it. In all honesty, the second scared the shit out of Toby –it was so real, almost tangible, yet it felt so far away at the same time.

He knew he wasn't ready to make that decision and prayed that time and fate would be on his side. For tonight, on the other hand, he knew exactly what he would do. It felt almost more like instinct, but nonetheless, he felt it was the right thing to do.

_**Save me, I'm lost  
Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you  
I'll pay any cost  
Just save me from being confused  
Wait, I'm wrong  
I can't do better than this  
I'll pay any cost  
Save me from being confused  
Show me what I'm looking for  
Show me what I'm looking for, oh, Lord**_

* * *

**So...whatcha think? Who do you think Toby's going to choose to hangout with? **

**I love hearing predictions! Also, if anyone has suggestions those are super helpful too...for example i think i might need TWO ideas for a first date?**

**Also, I'm curious if anybody likes the songs I choose for each chapter? I have quite the variety coming up soon...ahem country... so i'm excited :D**

**ANYWAYS. Feel free do write me criticisms or compliments, I'll take either/both! any feedback would be super helpful, thanks so much for checking out my stories :D**


	6. Alone With You

**Hey guys, guess who's getting real good at this updating thing? So I really loved writing this chapter, and I hope you like it as much as I do, it was inspired by the song "Alone With You," by Jake Own. ENJOY :D**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Alone With You**

_**I don't see you laugh  
You don't call me back  
But you kiss me when you're drunk….**_

The rest of Toby's afternoon seemed to fly by. His conscious was heavy with guilt as he drove in his truck down a winding road. He knew he shouldn't break his promise, but he had hardly seen her in the past week. As he arrived at his destination, he sent one last apology text.

**I'm so so so sorry –Toby**

He put his truck in park,waiting to make his presence known. He rested his head against the steering wheel as he took in a deep breath. How had things become so complicated in such a short period of time? His phone beeped announcing the arrival of a new text message.

**Forget it Toby, just like you always forget me –Mona **

Just as he was about to respond, he saw something moving in the distance. Shining his headlights, he spotted someone moving back and forth a few yards in front of him. He got out and headed toward the moving figure.

"Spencer, is that you?" He shouted.

In response, the person started running off toward the woods. Sprinting after her, it only took him a few seconds to catch up to her. Grabbing her from behind, he captured Spencer in a bear hug.

"No! You caught me!" Spencer giggled, pushing back against him in an attempt to escape his grasp.

"What are you doing?" Toby questioned her, turning her in his arms to steady her wiggling body.

"I'm meeting you, like I said I would," Spencer hiccuped.

"Okay, but what are you doing running around?"

"Gosh, Toby I'm just trying to have fun, like I did when I was little. All I ever wanted to do was run around, but my parents never let me. 'You must study 10 hours before you can see the light of day'"

Toby couldn't help but laugh at Spencer's drunken impersonation of her parents. He looked around and spotted her Mercedes.

"Please tell me you didn't drive here like this?"

Spencer shook her head, "I came up here after you left me, I made some good friends with Grey Goose."

"Good," Toby said while shaking his head, still disapproving of how she choose to spend her time.

_**I don't know your friends  
Don't know where you've been  
Why are you the one I want**_

"Did you know how blue your eyes are Toby, they're like little sapphires," Spencer moved her face closer to his to get a better look.

Toby took in a deep breath looking down at her, her hair was unraveling from the braid she had earlier that day and she still had heavy black makeup under her eyes from her tears earlier. A ring of purple stress shadowed her brilliant mocha eyes, and her breath reeked of vodka. Yet despite these things, her presence was still captivating to Toby, her smile was enchanting as ever and her pink lips looked soft and delicate.

Breaking the moment, Toby picked Spencer up bridal style suddenly. Unlike the times Toby had done this to her before, Spencer didn't put up a fight; instead she leaned into him, resting her head against his chest. She held onto the collar on his shirt with one hand, and rested the other on his shoulder. It was the first time Spencer had truly allowed Toby to be close to her. This closeness brought her comfort that she seemed to be craving for a while now.

Finally, Toby set her down on the bed of his truck. "Stay," he ordered simply. She nodded, starring into his eyes once more. Toby retreated to her car, and opened the drivers' door to search for any remaining evidence. He picked up the bottle of vodka sitting in the passengers' seat and quickly ran to poor it out into the woods, afraid to keep Spencer out of his sight for too long. Turning to check on his awaiting friend, he noticed she had disappeared from the truck bed altogether.

Shit, Toby thought. He threw the remains of the bottle deep through the trees and raced to the middle of the hills, looking in around the darkness to see if he could see where she could have disappeared to.

Suddenly, music erupted at the top volume out of his truck. He ran to the drivers' side door where he found Spencer awaiting his return. She waved at him through the window as he reached to open the door. "What are you doing?" Toby shouted.

"It was too quiet!" She yelled back and laughed as Toby rolled his eyes.

"Do you ever sit still?"

"Nope!" She giggled. Putting her hands on Toby's shoulders, she gently pushed him away from the door so she could step down. Taking Toby's hand in hers, she ran to the back of his truck. Toby couldn't help but laugh at how childish she was being. She rarely showed this side of her this summer –only a few late nights when he convinced her to loosen up. It wasn't like Spencer had never been silly around him before, it was just that she always seemed so structured.

_**Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me  
I can't be alone with you...**_

Climbing into the truck bed, she pulled on Toby's arm until he joined her. "Dance with me!" She commanded.

Toby shook his head diligently, "I don't think so."

"Please Toby, pleaseeee," she whined. With a roll of his eyes, Toby finally agreed.

"woooo!" Spencer shrieked, throwing her arms above her head, she started swinging her hips to the rhythm of the music. Toby stood there, enticed by her demeanor. He hadn't seen her so lighthearted in such a long time. It was as though the pressures of school and Andrew and her parents weighed this carefree-side of her down until it was deeply buried under AP test and college applications.

_**You've got me out on the edge every time you call  
And I know it would kill me if I fall  
I can't be alone with you**_

"Toby! You're not dancing!" Spencer scolded.

He chuckled lightly to himself as he shuffled his feet slightly to the beat.

"No, you're doing it wrong!" Spencer laughed, shaking her head.

"Are you trying to tell me that I don't have moves?" Toby faked insult.

"Yeah, because you don't!" Spencer justified with a giggle. "Here, like this," Spencer demonstrated swaying her hips. Toby attempted to copy Spencer, which resulted in Spencer toppling over in laughter. "No, no, like this," Spencer responded as soon as she could catch her breath. She put her hands on Toby's waist, moving it with the melody.

_**Please don't chain that door  
I can't win this war  
Your body's like a pill I shouldn't take**_

Toby was slightly taken aback with Spencer's sudden closeness. Her fingers tickled the skin underneath his shirt at the waist. Her wide-eyes looked bright and full of life as she looked up at him, "Yeah, like that" she said softer this time, even though they had both stopped moving altogether. Tenderly, Toby brushed a piece of her hair that had escaped from her braid behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. As though gravity was pulling them together, Spencer took a half a step closer to him, her chest touching his as her hands rounded to his back grazing his skin under his t-shirt. Both stood there in silence, daring each other to make the next move, but neither strong enough to cross the line.

_**Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me  
I can't be alone with you...**_

Breathing deeply, their bodies felt like they were on fire from the others touch. Toby brought his head closer to hers, resting his forehead on hers. She brushed her nose against his, moving her hand from his back to rest on his chest. Giving in at last, Spencer brought her lips to meet his. A fire burned in the bottom of her stomach as Toby tangled his hands in Spencer's hair, deepening the kiss. Electricity passed through them as a spark ignited. Their mouths moved in a synchronized dance. The kiss was sweet and tender, yet filled with building tension.

Finally, Toby moved his lips away from hers. Still holding her head in his hands, he looked down at her, "you're beautiful," he whispers.

Spencer blinks a few times before responding, "…I'm drunk," was all she could think to say.

He chuckles lightly, "your still beautiful."

Spencer meets her lips with his once more, this time with more fierceness. Toby slows down the kiss gently as he moves one hand from cupping her chin to behind her neck.

_**You've got me out on the edge every time you call  
And I know it would kill me if I fall  
I can't be alone with you**_

"Hey, hey, let's not rush anything," Toby breathes brushing his lips against hers. Spencer nods in agreement, pecking his lips one last time before stepping back and taking his hand in hers. She sat down in the truck bed dangling her feet off the end, pulling Toby down next to her. They sit like that for a while, holding hands as the music still blasts from the radio, looking up at the stars shining above them.

"You see those stars that kind of look like a side-ways W? That's Cassiopeia the Queen," Spencer pointed. When she was a kid, one of her fondest memories were when Jason would take out his telescope he got for Christmas one year, and teach her different constellations. They would sneak out to stay up late in their backyard and look at the sky for hours without getting bored –no parents unrealistic expectations, no Melissa to show off, just a brother and his sister.

Toby nods following her gaze, he wraps his arm around her shoulders holding her against his side. She leaned into his touch. Minutes turn to hours, as both Spencer and Toby finally find peace and contentment with each others company. Every once in a while Spencer would point out another constellation which Toby pretended he could see in the sky. After a while, Spencer found her eyes fight to stay open, she leans farther against Toby, resting her head on his shoulder. Her breathing deepens as the physical effects of her emotional day wear her down at last. Toby looks down at the sleeping girl in his arms, not wanting to disturb her, he gently picks her up and carries her around to the passenger side of the truck. As he takes his seat in the driver's side, she leans into him once more. He wraps one arm around her, keeping his other on the wheel.

_**Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say you love me cause you know you're gonna love me and leave  
I can't be alone with you...**_

They drive in silence to the Hastings household. Once they arrive, he nudges her softly as he gently whispers, "Spence, you're home."

Spencer groans in reply, and leans closer to the man by her side.

"C'mon, Spence, your parents are going to be worried," Toby tries again.

"Nooo…" she whines, "they're not home."

"Where are they?"

"Working, in New York for the next couple of days," she stammers.

Toby rubbed Spencer's back as he decided what to do next. Gently, he shifted Spencer to lean against the back of the seat, rather than on him as he got out of the car to open the passenger door. He picked Spencer up and entered the Hastings' threshold. Almost effortlessly, he carried her up the stairs to her room and placed her in her bed before pulling back the covers to tuck her in.

He took a look at the sleeping girl, she looked so at peace –as though nothing could hurt her.

Just as he turned to walk away, he heard something escape the sleeping girl's lips, "Don't go," she pleaded. He turned around to see Spencer's eyes wide-awake with a look of alarm residing within them. She seemed more sober than she had only hours earlier.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," she begged so quietly, Toby almost couldn't hear her. It was as though she was ashamed to be insecure and scared. Toby ran his hand through his hair, contemplating what to do.

_**You've got me out on the edge every time you call  
And I know it would kill me if I fall  
I can't be alone with you**_

"Okay," he gives in finally. He walks slowly to the other side of her bed, takes off his shoes and climbs in under the covers beside her. She scoots over, making room for him in her bed so they lay with a space between them. After a moment, his eyes drooped shut.

Spencer's mind is still racing though. That day had been an incredible mix of high highs and low lows, she almost didn't know what to think of it. But one moment in particular kept creeping up in her brain, she almost had to ask herself if it were real.

"Toby, can I ask you something?" She breathed lightly.

"Hmmm…?" he was falling asleep fast.

"Did you mean it?"

"….mean what?"

"…when you said I was beautiful…" she asked timidly.

Toby was not expecting that. His eyes opened quickly as he propped himself up on his arm, in order from him to get a better look at her. He looked down deep into her mocha eyes searching to see if she really had asked that question.

"I meant every word," he answered quickly without a doubt in his mind.

"…nobody ever told me that before…" Spencer admitted.

"No one?" Toby had a hard time believing that, Spencer was practically a god. "What about Andrew or at least your parents had to have said that to you before?"

Spencer shook her head, "No one, ever."

He looked down at the girl laying beside him, she was so much more than she thought she was she just couldn't see it. She was beautiful and kind and smart and had so much to offer the world, yet no one had ever told her that before.

"You are so beautiful," Toby said slowly with meaning. As he said those words he lifted her chin with his thumb, bringing her lips closer to his. He kissed her lightly, his lips barely skimming her, yet there was so much emotion and meaning behind the simple kiss.

He pulled her tight against his chest, running his hand through her chestnut locks until she fell asleep. The pair slept in their own world –away from expectations, complicated relationships, future demands, -only the two of them. Tomorrow they would go back to harsh reality, but for tonight, they just needed to be together and forget the world.

_**I don't see you laugh  
You don't call me back  
But you kiss me when you're drunk**_

* * *

**So... what'd you guys think? I know it was a tad bit fluffly, but i'm a fluffy person ok?**

**I love seeing and reading so many positive reviews, they make me so happy! Please continue! I love all review, even the critical ones :)**

**ANYWAYS, what does this mean for Spoby in the next chapter? What about Mona? Stay tuned...**


	7. Shake It Out

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the kind reviews :D This chapter is kinda a long one so I'll keep this note short. This chapter was inspired by the Florence + the Machine song "Shake It Out." ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Shake It Out**

_**Regrets collect like old friends  
Here to relive your darkest moments  
I can see no way, I can see no way  
And all of the ghouls come out to play**_

Glimmers of orange and yellow trickled through Spencer's window as the sun began to rise. Spence awoke the next morning a state of panic. Toby's arm was draped over her as he held her tight against his chest. They were so close she could feel his heavy breathes tickle the back of her neck. Carefully, she slid out from under his hold, embarrassed at their sleeping position. She sat up on the side of her bed, holding her head in her hands trying to recall her memories of the night prior.

Suddenly it hit her. She _kissed _Toby. She kissed him _three _times.

Then she begged him to stay the night with her as though she was a little kid afraid of the dark. How could she let things get so out of control? She was always had a strict boundaries and always knew her place. Worse than her confusion, Toby had a girlfriend. Spencer had kissed and slept next to a guy _with a girlfriend._ Her head was spinning, and all she could think about in that moment was how badly she needed a cup of coffee to keep her head straight. She headed down the stairs to make a fresh pot in the kitchen, leaving a sleeping Toby alone in her bed.

_**And every demon wants his pound of flesh  
But I like to keep some things to myself  
I like to keep my issues drawn  
It's always darkest before the dawn**_

Toby's eyes fluttered open as the closing of a door awoke him. He looked around to familiarize himself with his surroundings, it took a moment for his brain to kick in as he realized he was in Spencer's bed, the memories of the night before flooding his brain.

What had he done? Guilt filled his conscience as thoughts of Mona crept into his mind. While Mona wasn't perfect, she had never been anything less than loyal to Toby. Sure it appeared she cared more about her Louis Vuittons than anything else, but he knew deep down she cared for him too and this would crush her.

Why had he been so stupid? Part of him wished he had simply driven Spencer home after finding her drunk. Why had he kissed her? Why had he agreed to spend the night?

Then he remembered the look in her eyes as she danced in his truck. It was as though nothing could touch her, she was so carefree for that one moment in her life. It was captivating to say the least. And the way she looked at him when he told her she was beautiful, it was as though she didn't want to believe it. He knew he couldn't regret the happenings of that night, no matter how heavy his conscience.

_**And I've been a fool and I've been blind  
I can never leave the past behind  
I can see no way, I can see no way  
I'm always dragging that horse around**_

Before his confusion could heighten, he decided it was time to face the world. He chanced a glance at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand beside Spencer's bed, it read 7:39.

Great. He had exactly an hour and twenty-one minutes before he had to face the consequences of the night prior as he would have to see Mona at school.

He removed the covers and started making his way down the long hallway that led to the stairs. He spotted Spencer sitting at the kitchen table sipping on a cup of coffee looking as though she was contemplating the worries of the world.

She spotted him as he finally reached the last stair, she turned to him as she spoke, "Hey, want some coffee?" her concerned expression transforming to a light smile.

"Sure," Toby shrugged. He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured the dark liquid into the mug. The rich aroma filled his sense as he took a sip before taking a seat at the table across from Spencer. They sat in silence for a moment, neither knowing what to say to the other.

Finally, Toby broke the silence, "so…about last night..."

Spencer took another sip before she spoke lightly as though it was no big deal, "Yeah, sorry about that, I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing."

Toby looked at her questioningly. He was not expecting that response. She was drunk last night, but she wasn't completely wasted. Toby doubted if she had even had a hangover this morning. It wasn't like Spencer to blow off a thing like this. She analyzed everything, from the impression her shoes made to the tone in someone's voice, she never let the little things slide let alone something sort of major that could change the meaning of their relationship.

_**Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound  
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground  
So I like to keep my issues drawn  
But it's always darkest before the dawn**_

He stared at her agape as she continued, "Maybe we should just forget last night even happened? You know, for Mona," she suggested.

"Um..okay yeah for Mona," Toby agreed, "but maybe _we_ should talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about Toby, I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing. You were just being friendly, end of story," Spencer declared getting up from the table to rinse out her coffee cup in the sink putting an end to their short conversation.

"Now, I need to get dressed for school….shoot my car…" Spencer was more or less talking to herself at this point as Toby continued to watch her still in shock.

"Um.. I guess I could drive you, then we could pick up your car after school?" Toby offered.

"Yeah, I guess we'll have to," Spencer agreed.

Toby waited patiently in the kitchen while Spencer got ready for the day. He found himself pacing back and forth, his mind racing too much for him to sit still. Why had Spencer made what happened last night not seem like a big deal. It wasn't an accident, that's something Toby knew for sure. Last night he experienced a comfort and spark that he never experienced with Mona. It was different, but in a good way that sent chills through his spine. Yet Mona had always been there for him when he needed her, and never questioned why he needed comfort. She didn't mind that his family had a lot of drama, and was understanding when he didn't want to talk about it.

_**Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
So shake him off, oh whoa**_

As Toby's mind played tug-of-war, Spencer appeared on the bottom of the stairs.

"Let's go, you still need to change at your house and we're running late," Spencer ordered as she rushed around the kitchen, gathering her book bag and a large textbook.

Toby followed her out to his truck and drove to his house speedily, running a few stop signs in the process. Upon arrival of his home, Spencer practically pushed Toby out of his truck, while trying to hide his laughter he ran inside to change. Moments later Toby come running back out to meet a strangely silent Spencer. Her mood had drastically changed from when Toby entered his house. Toby let her be with her thoughts as he backed out of his driveway, and started to drive toward the school.

Spencer continued to look out the window, not acknowledging Toby's presence. They were half-way to Rosewood High when Spencer finally spoke, "turn right," she told him.

"What?" Toby didn't understand, one second she was freaking out about being late to school, now she wanted him to go a totally different direction.

"Turn right," Spencer practically yelled at him.

Toby spun the steering wheel in the hand, not wanting to miss the turn. The truck skidded at Toby's sudden change of course. After regaining control of the vehicle, he decided it was safe to speak, "Spencer, what's going on?"

Still looking out the window, Spencer spoke in a monotone voice, heavy with underlying emotion and anxiety, "I was just thinking about yesterday at school…I just can't go there… I can't face him. Not now, not after how he treated me."

_**And I am done with my graceless heart  
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart  
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn  
It's always darkest before the dawn**_

Toby nodded simply, "ok, where are we going?"

Spencer smiled at his willingness and acceptance of her answer, "go straight then turn left at the next light."

Eventually Toby pulled into a parking spot in the near empty parking lot outside of the local movie theatre. "What are we doing here?" Toby questioned curiously.

"I'm not really sure to be honest, it was just the first place I could think of to distract myself and hide from the world," Spencer explained.

They got out of the rusted truck and Toby bought them two tickets for the first show playing. They entered an empty theatre and took seats in the exact middle.

They had barely spoken since arriving at the theatre, and Toby couldn't stand the awkward tension anymore, "Hey, do you want popcorn?" Toby offered.

"Sure," Spencer answered simply.

Toby left Spencer briefly as the previews started playing, coming back only a few minutes later with what Spencer swore was the largest bucket of popcorn she had ever seen.

"Holy shit, are you hungry much?" Spencer gawked at the large bucket Toby had in his arms.

"What? I didn't have any breakfast, and besides I knew I'd be sharing with _you_," Toby replied, glad the awkwardness was subsiding for the time being as the playful banter Toby loved came out.

_**Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa**_

"Are you implying something?"

"Yeah, you eat a lot. I have no idea how you are still so skinny," Toby admitted.

"Hey!" Spencer slapped his arm with her hand only slightly offended, stealing the popcorn in the process.

"Do you mind sharing?" Toby batted his eyelashes at her, but Spencer kept faced forward, her eyes glued to the screen as she poured a handful of popcorn into her mouth, ignoring Toby completely.

Toby reached over into the popcorn bucket when Spencer batted his arm away once more. "Maybe you should have gotten another one for yourself, apparently I eat _a lot_," Spencer finally looked at him, her eyes narrowed as she challenged him.

Toby took a deep breath, finally giving in to Spencer, "Fine, I'm sorry, now can I have some popcorn?"

"Yes, now was that so hard?" Spencer placed the bucket right between them just as the movie started to play. Neither had really paid any attention when they chose which movie to see, they only chose the one with the earliest start time. It turned out they had chosen an action movie full of brutality and violence. Toby was surprised when he saw Spencer sitting up in her seat as the fight scenes got intense, her eyes practically glued to the screen. Mona would have hated this much gore and ruthlessness and would have most likely gotten bored half way through.

_**Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
So shake him off, oh whoa**_

As the credits appeared on the screen, Spencer looked at Toby, the bucket of popcorn only half-finished between them.

"Now what?" Spencer asks.

"Here, we still have more popcorn to eat," Toby grabbed Spencer's hand and ran out of the theatre into the one next door. They lucked out as the movie hadn't started yet, however, this time they didn't have the theatre completely to themselves as there were at least ten others waiting for the movie to start. Toby found them two open seats near the front, as Spencer laughed at him.

"Shouldn't we go pay for this?" she questioned him.

"Haven't you ever theater hopped before? Besides I paid enough for this popcorn, they don't need any more money from me," Toby chuckled at her innocence.

"Aren't we going to get in trouble?" Spencer squeaked.

"Yeah, by the guy that was stoned at nine in the morning when he ripped our tickets? I don't think he'll care. C'mon Spencer, live a little."

"Fine, if you say so," Spencer began to relax, leaning back against the seat as the previews began to start. "I'll _live a little_," She narrowed her eyes to him once more as she held the popcorn hostage again.

"Not again…" Toby moaned jokingly, luckily he was no longer hungry and didn't bother to put up a fight.

The movie started, this time being a scary thriller about demons and exorcism. Both Spencer and Toby were captivated by it, as they spent much of the summer together doing nothing but watching scary movies. Spencer jumped and closed her eyes, telling herself to be brave as something popped out on the screen.

"Scared?" Toby whispered in Spencer's ear.

"No…" she lied. But Toby didn't push it, letting her think she had convinced him otherwise.

As the movie wrapped up, Spencer had shivers down her spine, "that so good!" she squealed.

Toby couldn't help but laugh at her new enthusiasm –only seconds earlier had she looked as though she was shaking with fear, now she was practically jumping out of her seat with excitement as adrenaline pumped through her veins. Toby checked the time on his phone, school would be getting out in ten minutes. They had spent the entire day in the theatre and unfortunately, he had to get home to face the wraths of Jenna. They exited the theatre, Spencer still going on about how much she loved the movie, and walked to Toby's car.

Toby was glad he had spent the entire day with Spencer, although his mind was still spinning about the happenings of the night prior, he was happy things weren't awkward between them. It made it easier that things were going back to how they were that summer.

Toby drove Spencer to the Hill so she could pick up her car, and says goodbye easily as they part ways.

As Spencer gets in her car and starts the engine, she can't begin to wrap her head around the last twenty-four hours. So much had happened, yet not much had changed. She had successfully made Toby agree to forget about last night, even if she wasn't positive _she _wanted to, she knew she needed to.

_**And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
And given half the chance would I take any of it back  
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone  
It's always darkest before the dawn**_

Reality hit Spencer as she realized she had an entire paper to write, that was due the next day. Needless to say, Spencer knew she had a long night ahead of her, she decided to stop for coffee on the way home. As she got in line at the local café, The Brew, she heard someone call her name from behind her.

"Spencer!" Mona greeted her, a concerned expression on her face.

Spencer gulped as all her confidence on what she thought of last night crumbled to pieces. "Hi, Mona," Spencer greeted wearily.

"Have you seen Toby? I've been worried sick. He hasn't answered my texts and didn't show up to school today."

"Um…no I haven't seen him," Spencer lied, "I'll tell him to call you if I do see him though." She tried her best to sound reassuring and truthful while sweat started to brew on her palms and the back of her neck.

Without another word, Mona walked away, as though Spencer wasn't worth her time anymore. A wave of nausea washed through Spencer as she found herself having difficult time breathing. She practically ran out the door, only able to catch her breath once she finally is outside with fresh oxygen. She realized that everything she knew about last night was wrong. She couldn't forget, not matter how much she wanted to, something happened between her and Toby, and she wasn't sure if it was for the better. Someone was going to get hurt, and Spencer knew the odds were not in her favor. Toby had been dating Mona for six months, why would he choose anyone but her? Spencer wasn't even sure what it was she felt for Toby. Last night was a mistake, nothing more, Spencer tried to convince herself.

_**And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't  
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road  
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope**_

Once her head stopped spinning, she walked back to her car without her coffee and headed straight home. As soon as she stepped inside in house, she braced herself as she found her parents waiting for her in the living room.

"Spencer," Mrs. Hastings said calmly in her lawyer voice, "Come here, your father and I need to talk to you." Spencer's nerves heightened, her mother only used her lawyer voice on her children when she wanted something, and it usually wasn't an easy task.

Hesitantly, Spencer walked toward her parents, having a seat across from them on the loveseat.

"We understand you and Andrew had a disagreement," Mr. Hastings started.

Spencer nodded, "We broke up yesterday," she explained.

"Don't you think that was a little bit of a hasty decision?" Mrs. Hastings continued, "You and Andrew had been dating for so long and seemed so compatible together, why don't you try to call him and work things out. I'm sure he'd understand if you apologize, the Campbells are very understanding people."

"It's not that easy," Spencer couldn't believe what her parents were asking her to do. Andrew had spent the majority of their relationship making Spencer feel like shit, then had sex with someone else and blamed _her_.

"You know, it's not just yourself you should be thinking about Spencer. Think about how this looks for the family. Your mother was just about to seal the deal on a lawsuit they need to defend and this would jeopardize her chance of keeping them as her clients." Mr. Hastings illustrated.

_**It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat  
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me  
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me  
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah**_

Spencer shook her head in disbelief. She wanted to yell at her parents so badly, it was like her feelings and what had actually gone down between her and Andrew didn't even matter to them, all it was was a sick game to benefit their jobs, like always. Yet despite of this, Spencer couldn't find the strength in her voice to tell them this. She so badly just wanted to scream and walk away. But that would mean losing everything; she worked so hard to make them proud. So instead she looked at the ground, defeated as she mumbled, "yeah, I'll think about it."

"That's all we ask sweetie," Mrs. Hastings replied before getting up and heading to her home office. Mr. Hastings followed suit as he headed for his own office, but paused for a second, turning to face Spencer once more, "You can be on your own for dinner tonight right? Your mother and I have so much work ahead of us to prepare for this case."

"Yeah, no problem," Spencer replied in disbelief. Spencer sat there in silence as her parents left her all alone. How could she agree to go back to Andrew and to apologize for _his _faults? She hated how hard it was to say no to her parents and to stand up for what she wanted. But they were her parents, how _could_ she say no?

Spencer walked up to her room and closed the door, a whirlwind of thoughts spinning around her. She had been so certain of everything earlier that day, and then reality hit her when she ran into Mona and again when she was cornered by her parents. At that moment she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore, all she knew was that she had an AP English paper that needed to be turned in, in less than fifteen hours and she hadn't even started yet.

_**Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
So shake him off, oh whoa**_

* * *

**So yeah... I'm curious to know what you guys think of the end of this chapter!  
**

**Will Spencer listen to her parents and get back with Andrew? **

**What will happen between Toby and Mona because of this?**

**Lemme know what you think! All reviews are good reviews, so how about getting some good karma and helping me out by giving me feedback :) Your reviews help me create a road map and helps me determine where i want this story to go. Thanks again for reading! **


	8. Chances

**Hey guys, I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has been reading this story. It means to world to me that so many of you guys are reading it and enjoying it as much as I am :) This chapter took me a bit longer to right, just because I had some trouble with story development, so any suggestions on how I can improve is greatly appreciated! This chapter was inspired by the song "Chances" by Five for Fighting. **

**Chapter 8: Chances**

_**Chances are when said and done  
Who'll be the lucky ones who make it all the way?  
Though you say I could be your answer  
Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today**_

The rest of week passed rather slowly for Spencer. Between tests to study for, homework to finish, college applications to start, and fulfilling her duties as Vice President of the student body, Spencer was thankful she hadn't had much time to talk to Toby. Though she wanted to spend time with her friend, she didn't want to face him and Mona –it wasn't fair to either of them, especially Mona, after what had happened the night on the hill.

Thankfully she hadn't had a chance to talk to Andrew either, except for the occasion dispute about the upcoming homecoming dance a month away, Spencer was rather successful in avoiding him. She knew she couldn't listen to her parents and get back together with him, but she didn't want to disappoint her parents either. She just hadn't found a way to tell her parents this yet. It was a constant tug-of-war battle between what she wanted and what her parents wanted going on inside her brain.

Spencer woke up that Saturday morning feeling peaceful and at ease. It was the first time she had felt this way all week. If she was being honest with herself, it was probably because her parents were away for the weekend visiting Melissa in the city. They had been coming down hard on her lately –pressuring her to go above and beyond with her tests and essays she had due, it was as though one hundred percent wasn't enough, she needed to get extra credit to please them. She was sick of their lectures about how she needs to get into a decent college –meaning Ivy League –if she wanted a good job. Spencer wasn't even sure if this is what she wanted, but for the time being, it was all she had.

Spencer laid in bed for an extra five minutes , planning out the rest of her day. First she would start her A.P. U.S. History paper, and then she could study for Spanish, and start some more college applications, she decided. If she was lucky she would be done in time to meet her friends at the hill that night. Spencer raised her arms over her head stretching and letting out a loud yawn, before making her way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and the rest of her day.

_**Chances are we'll find a new equation  
Chances roll away from me  
Chances are all they hope to be**_

Sunlight began to leak through Toby's blinds, causing him to rub his eyes –not yet prepared to face the rest of the world. But apparently the rest of the world was ready to face Toby as a loud beep escaped from Toby's phone. Toby blindly reached for it on his nightstand, slapping the surface a few times and almost knocking off his alarm clock before he finally found it. Toby blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the text message he had received with his tired mind.

**Don't forget to meet me for coffee in 10 minutes –xoxo Mona. **

Fuck. Toby had completely forgotton that he was supposed to meet Mona for coffee and then spend a lovely morning with her as she tried on a million different shoes that look exactly the same and asked him a billion times if they make her look fat. How can shoes make someone look fat? Needless to say, this was not the way Toby envisioned spending his Saturday morning.

Not wanting to make her mad because he was late, Toby quickly picked up a t-shirt that looked clean off the floor and threw it on along with a pair of jeans. He ran down the stairs and out the door to his truck and headed for the brew.

"You're late," Mona stares him down as he arrives. She's already sitting at a table with a non-fat mocha latte.

"I know, I'm sorry, I overslept," Toby tried to explain.

"You always do this to me Toby!" Mona seemed pissed, "You always forget about me! Do you even care about me at all Toby?"

"Of course I do," Toby pleaded.

"Well you don't act like it!"

"Look, I just woke up and it's a little early to fight. Let me get some coffee, then we can go shopping and I'll buy you a new pair of shoes to make up for it," Toby bargained. His head pounded with a desperate need for caffeine, it was way too early to fight –especially with Mona. He went up to the counter and ordered a large black coffee, then took a seat across from Mona.

She still seemed a little aggravated, but appeared to be getting over it pretty quickly.

"We need to go to Macy's first," Mona explained, "I need to buy some new boots –especially some with fringe. And then there's some Michael Kors I _desperately_ need." As Mona described her game plan for their shopping adventure, Toby couldn't help but let his mind wander as he took sips of his coffee. So instead, he nodded along, pretending he was just as enthused shoes as she was, when in reality he couldn't have been more bored.

As his mind wandered, he began to wonder what Spencer had been up to lately. He knew that her parents were putting a lot of pressure on her lately, but he hadn't really had a chance to talk to her since their little movie adventure earlier that week.

_**Don't get me wrong I'd never say never  
'Cause though love can change the weather  
No act of God can pull me away from you**_

"Toby are you even listening?" Mona narrowed her eyes at him again.

"Yeah, you were talking about how you wanted a pair of shoes," Toby tried.

"No, I was talking about how you need a new suit for homecoming, preferably a Gucci one that'll look good with my Gucci dress," Mona explained rather impatiently. Toby could tell she was getting rather fed up with his lack of excitement at their stimulating conversation.

"Are you serious?" Toby huffed, "Those cost at least two-grand….I can't afford that, besides I have a suit!"

"Well, you should figure it out Toby, we need to look like the perfect couple, and that means you don't wear an old suit!"

"I bought it two years ago, it's fine." Toby couldn't believe Mona actually expected him to put out two-grand for a suit for him to wear to a stupid high school dance.

"We'll see," was all Mona had to say in response. Toby stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm so excited we're going to Homecoming together this year. We have to show everyone how perfect we are together!" And so Mona's ramblings began again.

As each word escaped Mona's mouth, Toby couldn't believe how conceited she was. All she cared about was what people thought about her and how she had to prove to be better than everyone around her. And the only way Mona knew how to prove it was with material things.

"Do we know what group we're going to Homecoming with?" Mona asked him.

"Uh.. I don't know, it's kind of early to start planning, but I was assuming we would go with my friends," Toby stated.

"Oh….. Okay, who would that include?" Mona inquired, blinking her eyes patiently at him.

"Caleb and Hanna, Emily and Maya, probably Aria and Jason, and Spencer," Toby listed off his friends.

"Oh…." Mona made a sour face. She took a sip of her latte before continuing, "Does Spencer _have_ to come with us?"

"Uh, yeah. Who else would she go with?" Toby couldn't believe this, why wouldn't Spencer go with them to homecoming?

"You two have just been spending so much time together lately; maybe you two should start seeing each other less. We could just go by ourselves?" Mona suggested lightly, as though it was no big deal.

Toby was about to argue Mona's point, but something stopped him. Memories of the night on the hill he spent with Spencer filled his thoughts, as guilt poured through him like a waterfall.

"Ya, Okay. " Toby agreed.

"So you'll stop seeing her?" Mona asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Toby didn't want to, but he knew it was the right thing to do for his relationship.

"Ok good!" Mona giggled with glee, "So I was thinking my shoes should be gold with sparkles –like the Jimmy Choo ones I saw last week!" and so the rambling continued.

Moments later, Toby's phone beeped again, providing the perfect distraction from Mona and her shoe talk.

**Are you going to the hill tonight? –Spencer.**

Toby stared down at the text for a few moments. He remembered that summer, and how things actually seemed ok for once because of her. She made him laugh harder than he had ever laughed before, made him smile more, but most of all she had made him realize how much he could do with his life. He had the potential to get out of Rosewood –to make something of himself. Toby knew he didn't want to let that go. Quickly, Toby typed his response and pressed send.

_**I'm just a realistic man, a bottle filled with shells and sand  
Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you  
And though I see us through, yeah**_

"…maybe we should stop by Coach too so I can look for a new purse," Mona continued, mostly talking to herself.

"I can't do it," Toby interrupted her.

"What?" Mona looked at him confused.

"I can't cut Spencer out of my life, she's one of my best friends," Toby stated defensively.

Shocked at her boyfriend's sudden outburst, Mona's lips pressed together in a tight straight line as she narrowed her eyes on Toby. "Well, maybe you should choose then. Whose it gonna be, your loving girlfriend or some nerd?" Mona raised her eyebrows in question, confident she knew Toby's answer.

"Why are you so quick to judge her? You don't even know her!" Toby defended Spencer, "Maybe if you cared about more than shoes you would notice that about her!"

"Excuse me?" Mona stared at him in disbelief.

"We're done, Mona. I can't take this petty drama anymore," Toby stated simply, getting up from the table and walking out the door, a free man. Toby could feel her stare on his back as he walked away from her for once and for all, her jaw dropped in shock.

_**Chances are we'll find two destinations  
Chances roll away from me  
Still chances are more than expectations  
The possibilities over me**_

Toby couldn't believe what he had just done, honestly, he had shocked himself a little bit. However, now that he was free from Mona, he began to wonder why he was with her for so long. He always found himself avoiding her and he dreaded spending anytime with her –other than for meaningless sex to distract him from his problems.

Later that night, as Toby pulled up besides rows of cars on the hill, he found himself happier than he had been in a long time. From the number of cars lined up towards the bottom of the hill, he had obviously been the last of his friends to show up. A bonfire acted as a flashlight, lighting up the dark night sky, surrounded by a crowd of teenage bodies. It looked like there were more people than usual, probably due to the lack of parties lately Toby reasoned. Music echoed from a stereo, blasting old songs from the 90's. Toby made his way to the crowded fire towards the top of the hill, looking for one person in particular. He scanned the crowd, but realized that Spencer was nowhere in sight.

Finally, he found Emily at last talking to her girlfriend Maya, a red solo cup in their hands. "Hey, Toby," she greeted him warmly.

"Hey, have you seen Spencer, I kind of need to tell her something," Toby asked.

"I just saw her a minute ago… She has to be around here somewhere…" Emily said as she looked around her as if playing Where's Waldo.

"Hey Toby. How, Mona?" Maya turned to Toby.

"Oh…she's….well, we broke up today," Toby stated reluctantly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Toby," Maya responded, sincere sympathy in her voice.

"Yeah, Toby that sucks. Are you ok?" Emily questioned, worried for her best friend.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm actually a little relieved to be honest," Toby admits. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a brilliant brunette with deep mocha eyes.

"There's Spencer. Look, I really need to talk to her," Toby looked to Emily, an apology in his eyes for not getting to spend more time with her.

"Go," Emily says with a light chuckle as she rolls her eyes.

Following her instructions, Toby turns toward Spencer's direction, practically running to meet her. She's talking with Aria, laughing at something she said.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Toby says to Spencer as he approaches the giggling girls.

"Hey, Toby," Aria greeted him warmly, "I think I need another drink," she said, making her escape.

Before Spencer could say anything, words seemed to rush out of Toby's mouth, "I broke up with Mona." He wasn't sure how he expected Spencer to respond, all he knew was something deep down told him he had to tell her. It was like gravity's force was pulling him toward her.

_**It's a fight with two to one, lay your money on the sun  
Until you crash what have you done? Is there a better bet than love?  
What you are is what you breathe, you gotta cry before you sing**_

"What? Why?!" to say that Spencer was shocked would be an understatement. Her head was spinning as she tried to process Toby's words.

"That relationship was just so shallow, I realized it's not what I wanted," Toby tried to explain.

"What do you mean it's not what you wanted? You were together for six months!" Spencer seemed to be yelling at him now.

"Why does that matter? And why are you mad about this?" This was not going at all how Toby had imagined. He thought Spencer would at least be happy about it, he knew she never really liked Mona.

_**Chances, chances  
Chances lost are hope's torn up pages  
Maybe this time**_

"Did you tell her?! Is that why you broke up?!" Spencer spat at him.

"Tell her what?" Toby was so lost, he felt as though he had a better chance of navigating through the jungle than try to figure out what Spencer was mad about.

"The kiss, Toby!"

"No, I didn't tell her," Toby stated calmly, hoping this would calm Spencer down as well, "I didn't have to. Look, Spencer I know what I want, it just took me a while to realize it." Toby took a step closer to her, hoping she would understand.

**Chances are we'll be the combination  
Chances come and carry me  
Chances are waiting to be taken, and I can see**

"What are you trying to say Toby? You used me as an excuse to break up with your girlfriend?!" Spencer took a step back in response, not letting him get too close to her.

He ran his hand through his hair, trying to comprehend what was happening. This was not going at all like how he wanted to. It was as though every time Toby tried to tell Spencer how he felt, she would push him away.

"That's not what I said," Toby tried again, but before he could finish Spencer interrupted him.

"But it's what you meant," she stated simply, "Did you two break up because of me?" Spencer asked point-blank.

"Well...yeah, I guess" Toby admitted, "…but that's that the only reason –"

"I don't want to be an excuse, Toby!" Spencer screamed at him before he could go on. She turned away and hurried toward the line of cars farther down the hill, afraid to give him a chance to explain because that would mean risking falling for something real.

"Spencer, wait!" Toby called after her, but that only made her leave faster, nearly running toward her Mercedes. He let her go into the dark September night, knowing that going after her would be useless.

_**Chances are the fascinations  
Chances won't escape from me  
Chances are only what we make them and all I need**_

* * *

_****_**Thanks again for reading this chapter!  
**

**What does this mean for Spoby now that Toby's a free man? Why is Spencer pushing Toby away? **

**Lemme know what ya think!**

**Reviews are always welcome! (psst.. thanks for all the great feed back lately!)**

**...oh, and you might want to be on the lookout for a new chapter up soon... like tomorrow?...**


	9. Sunshine

**Hey guys, long time no see (; So as promised here is the new chapter. I know I haven't been updating as much as I've wanted to lately, but my life has been hectic and I want to make sure each and every chapter is the best it can be before I publish it. Unfortunately, I have to apologize in advanced because I don't know how much I'll be able to update for the rest of this week, it's my last week of high school everrrr, and I have finals and prom (YAY!) so I'll try to write when I can. So I hope you enjoy this chapter at least, it was inspired by the song "Sunshine" by the All American Rejects.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Sunshine**

_**It's a new day  
It's a bright day  
Even when you stand in the dark  
It's just that  
You've been broken into fifty pieces**_

The weekend seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. As Monday morning came once again the students of Rosewood High School seemed to sigh with exhaustion all at once –not yet ready to start another week of tedious homework and mind-numbing lectures from teachers.

Spencer walked through the doors of the school with a guilty conscience. She couldn't believe how baldy she had treated Toby on Saturday night. There he was trying to tell her how he felt and she just yells at him and runs away, like a scared little girl. She didn't know what had come over her. The more Toby tried to tell her how he felt, the more scared she got –her stomach was churning with anxiety, her only thought was begging Toby to stop talking. This thought raced round and around in her mind the entire time, like a merry-go-round that doesn't stop.

Yet at the same time, half of her wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Just to walk up to him and apologize with a kiss that could take away all her fears. She couldn't get the feeling of kissing him out of her mind –it was different, but in a good way that put butterflies in her stomach. It was as though a spark of electricity passed through them every time they touched. He was the one person that truly understood her –she had never been so honest with someone before. And he was the one person who was there for her when she needed him the most. Unlike her parents and Andrew who were supposed to be there for her, he genuinely cared about her. He cared about her enough to put her before everyone else in his life –his family, his friends, even his girlfriend.

That was another issue altogether. Even though Spencer never really liked Mona –she always seemed selfish and conceited –she didn't want Toby to break up with Mona because of her. It just wasn't fair to either of them. Spencer never wanted to get in the way of their relationship, it just sort of happened. When Toby told her this, she didn't feel happy like how some might expect her to, instead she felt ashamed. She was ashamed that she truly had been the 'other women.'

Needless to say, Spencer wasn't ready to face Toby again, not until she had a chance to clear her head. So she let out an exhausted sigh and headed toward her first class of the day.

_**Today is gone  
I'm the only light that you see  
You need someone  
I know all you needed was me**_

The wearisome Monday morning had gone slower than Spencer had expected. She found herself heavily distracted in all her classes, not having the energy to focus on her work. After lunch, Hanna had stopped her at her locker. As Spencer took out a heavy textbook and put it in her bag, Hanna kindly greeted her, "Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of out of it today."

"Yeah, I'm just distracted by some stuff," Spencer stated quietly.

"Is it about your fight with Toby?" Hanna questioned. "I saw you two fighting on Saturday night, it seemed kind of intense…" she admitted.

"You don't know the half of it…" Spencer shook her head, trying to figure out where to begin.

"You can always start at the beginning…" Hanna suggested kindly.

"Well, I guess it all started last week, the day that Andrew and I broke up, well he drove me home and I told him to meet me at the hill that night….well I was kind of drunk when he showed up and we ended up making out…" Spencer began.

"Holy shit! You guys….I knew it!" Hanna exclaimed, "…wait there's more isn't there?"

Spencer nodded reluctantly, "He kind of ended up sleeping in my bed with me that night…"

Hanna's eyes were bulging out of their sockets at this point, "Wait, you two had sex?!"

"No! No, I swear we didn't," Spencer corrected her quickly, "but then we agreed that everything that happened that night didn't matter and meant nothing."

Hanna rolled her eyes knowingly, "Yeah right, I don't care how drunk you were. I know you, and I see how you guys act together. It's not nothing…"

"Yeah, well apparently you're right...he broke up with Mona on Saturday. That's what we were fighting about, I told him not to use me as an excuse not to be with her."

"Either way he needed to dump that girl. She's annoying as fuck, I swear I asked her who the president of Italy was once, and she seriously thought it was Louis Vution."

"Yeah, well they shouldn't break up because of me…This is all just too much to deal with right now. My parents are already stressing me out enough with all these college applications to fill out and I don't even want to go to any of the school's they've picked out for me!" Spencer exclaimed

"Well, tell them no," Hanna suggested simply.

"I wish it was that easy… " Spencer started, just as the warning bell began to chime.

"Crap, Miss Fletcher is going to kill me if I'm late again. Just talk to Toby ok?" Hanna finished before running down the hall toward her class.

_**Every day we wake if it takes too long  
Just tell me something new  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**_

Spencer finished taking out an oversized binder out of her locker before making her way to her own class. But yet again, she found her mind wandering. Spencer was so stressed, anxiety held filled her every cell. Everything was just happening so fast. Before she knew it graduation would be upon her, and she'd be forced to go to a school that her parents approved of. Spencer didn't want to say no to her parents, but she didn't want to follow the plan they had laid out for her either. Was it too much to ask for her to be able to make her own choices in life? It was _her_ life after all.

And then there was Toby. They had become so close so quickly that summer, it almost felt surreal. They had grown so close, and now they weren't talking. Then she lost her boyfriend of three years. It was as though everything was changing too fast. Spencer' head was spinning trying to keep up with all the changes. She just wanted to be like Zack Morris from _Saved by the Bell _and freeze time to she could have a minute to think.

_**You can say it's right, but it feels so wrong  
Just show me something true  
Forget about the sunshine  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**_

The days had passed slowly and painfully for Toby. Each second had felt like a minute, each hour had felt like a day. There was only one person who Toby could think about, her brown eyes and chestnut locks spun around in his mind for days. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, to finally be able to call her his own. But he knew she needed some space, so it was space that he gave her. He knew it was a risk, telling her why he had broken up with Mona, but he hadn't expected her to react so defensively. He couldn't believe that she actually thought that he would use her as an excuse to break up with Mona. Yes, he had partially broken up with Mona on Spencer's defense, but he hadn't been using Spencer as a loop hole. He just didn't want to be with Mona anymore, and it wasn't fair to either of them that he kept her hanging on when he was distracted with another brilliant brunette.

It wasn't until that Wednesday at school, when he had even talked to Mona again. She had stopped him in the hallway –practically cornering him at his locker.

"Hey Toby," she started, sneaking up behind him, "I was thinking. We were both being a little hasty this weekend, I really miss you." She seemed sincere, but at the same time, Toby wasn't really buying it.

"Yeah, well it seemed like a long time coming Mona," Toby countered.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't want you to see Spencer. I guess you can hang out with whoever you want, can we please get back together now? My parents just had a new hot-tub put in, maybe you can help me try it out sometime? You know, like a test run?" Mona stepped closer to him as she said this, lowering her voice into a husky tone and brushing her hand over his arm.

But Toby shook her off and took a step back, even though her offer was tempting he had to admit, she wasn't the brunette constantly on his mind. "Look Mona I'm sorry. But it's not you, It's me. To be honest, it's not really fair to you, to be with you when I'm kind of distracted by someone else."

Mona looked shocked to hear this, it was as though she had never been second best before. She brought her hand up and with a quick swift motion, slapped it across his face before turning on her heels and marching away. Toby's cheek stung with sharp pain as he watched Mona go for the last time.

_**Today is gone  
I'm the only light that you see  
You need someone  
I know all you needed was me**_

"Ouch, that looked like it hurt," Hanna said from behind him.

Toby turned around, surprised that she had seen what had happened, "how much of that did you see?"

"Enough to tell you only deserved it a little bit," Hanna answered simply.

"Thanks, that makes me feel better," Toby stated sarcastically.

"Hey, has Spencer talked to you lately?" Hanna changed the subject.

Toby gulped involuntarily, "No."

"I knew it," Hanna shook her head in disbelief.

It had been nearly a week since Spencer and Toby's last conversation. He wanted nothing more than to go back to that summer when things were so easy between them –no complicated feelings, no crossed lines between friendship and something more, just two people. Now he was afraid he had lost her for good.

"I can tell that she's miserable," Hanna stated.

"I know," Toby looked down at his feet, thinking hard for a minute before bringing his eyes back up to look directly at Hanna, "I have to talk to her, I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand seeing her this way, and I don't want to lose her."

"That's what I wanted to hear," a smile spread across Hanna's face.

_**Every day we wake if it takes too long  
Just tell me something new  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone  
You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong**_

"Okay, but what I am supposed to do? She won't talk to me. Every time she sees me she runs away. She won't even look at me!" Toby exclaimed with frustration.

"Well it's a good thing I have a plan," Hanna stated as the warning bell sounded, "look, just be at the hill on Friday at 8:00, I'll take care of Spencer," Hanna rushed walking away toward her class before Toby had the chance to respond.

Although he was grateful that Hanna wanted to help him, he wasn't sure about her plan. Spencer would probably just run away as soon as she saw him again. He was worried she would push him away again –not even giving him the chance to speak. Even with all this he knew he had to do it, it could be his last chance to talk to her and to tell her how he feels. He needed her in his life like he needed air, and this entire week without her, he felt like he was suffocating.

_**Just show me something true  
Forget about the sunshine  
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone**_

* * *

**So, whatcha think? Is Hanna's plan going to work, or will Spencer just run away again?**

**Lemme know!**

**Also any criticism as to how I can approve is greatly appreciated! I really want to make this story the best it can be, and so feedback helps me so much! **

**Thank you so much for reading this, it means so much to me! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and hopefully I'll be able to update as soon as I can, but your patience is greatly appreciated :)**


	10. Let Love In

**IMPORTANT: ****Please notice that I changed the ra****ting of this story to M. If you do not feel as though you can handle mature things, I'm sorry but you might want to skip this chapter. **

**A/N: So I've been working on this chapter for a while, and I'm really excited for you guys to finally get to read it. I'm so happy with the responses I'm getting from this story! You guys are amazing! Someone asked me if I had I twitter, I do in fact have one, but it's more for personal use. But feel free to follow me on tumblr and ask me questions on there or send me a PM, my url is .com . Anyways, back to this story, this chapter was inspired by the song "Let Love In" by the Goo Goo Dolls. ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Let Love In**

_**You wait, wanting this world to let you in  
And you stand there, a frozen light in dark and empty streets  
You smile hiding behind a God-given face  
But I know you're so much more  
Everything they ignore is all that I need to see**_

The September night air was finally beginning to become cooler, signaling the end of summer was near. Crickets chirped in the silence of the night. The music they made filled the night air as Toby waited patiently, leaning against the hood of his truck for Spencer to make an appearance. Toby had been nearly pacing with anxiety hours ago. All day he was on edge, waiting for Hanna's plan to play out. All he had to do was show up she had told him, she would make sure Spencer made it there, then he could finally have a chance to talk to her.

Headlights shine bright through the darkness as a dark Mercedes pulls up. Spencer opened her car door, and stepped out into the night.

Confused as first, Spencer headed toward the vehicle only a couple of yards away. It was so dark, she had a hard time making out what type of car it was, all she could tell was that it was a lot bigger than Hanna's Honda. She crossed her arms in annoyance as she realized she was starring at a rusty truck and a boy with piercing aqua eyes standing in front of it.

Suddenly it all made sense why Hanna had asked her to meet on the hill instead of at Spencer's house. Hanna had told her she needed to get out of her house because her mom had a date. She had practically begged Spencer to hang out with her. Reluctant at first, Spencer desperately needed to finish her college applications, but finally she agreed after hours of Hanna's no-stop whining.

"Don't be mad," Toby stated cautiously as Spencer approached him.

"Why would I be mad Toby? You tricked me into seeing you, and used my best friend to do it." Spencer words were harsh and burned like acid.

"No, not quite," Toby shook his head, this would be a lot harder than he thought, "it was Hanna's idea actually."

"And why would this be her idea?" Spencer shook her head in disbelief. Why would Hanna suggest tricking Spencer into seeing Toby? It didn't make any sense. Hanna and Toby weren't even that close of friends. They only reason they ever talked was because Toby pretty tight with Caleb, and it wasn't like them to conspire together. Besides Hanna never went behind Spencer's back like that before.

"We're your best friends Spence, we can tell when you're not happy, and it's miserable not being able to do anything about it."

In truth, Spencer had been miserable ever since her fight with Toby, but it still wasn't their problem. She was a big girl and was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

"Ok Toby, you wanted to talk, so talk," Spencer challenged, partially annoyed at herself for falling for Hanna and Toby's plan.

Toby ran a hand through his hair, trying to decide where to begin.

_**You're the only one I ever believed in, the answer that could never be found  
The moment you decided to let love in  
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel  
The end of fear is where we begin the moment we decided to let love in**_

"Look, when we kissed last week, it wasn't a mistake we should forget. I know we said it was, but we both know it meant _something_. And it wasn't an excuse for me to break up with Mona," Toby started slowly, looking deep into Spencer's eyes as he spoke each word with meaning. "You mean so much more to me than that. The only reason why Mona and I broke up was because I couldn't stand being with her anymore. It wasn't fair to either of us when my heart just wasn't in it –especially when I was distracted by someone else," as he continued, Toby slowly took careful steps toward Spencer. She stood there this time, allowing him to come closer –step by step –as she took in his words.

Spencer shook her head, not wanting to believe what Toby had to say, "No, that's not true. It can't be true," her voice trembled, not confident with her answer.

But Toby responds by taking another step toward her, "Why not?"

"It can't be," she repeats. She worked so hard to not feel the things Toby had just admitted to, she built up walls surrounding her heart and if what he had just said was true, it had the potential to demolish it all.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I can't stop thinking about you? It's the truth I swear. I've tried to distract myself, but it doesn't work. God I've tried everything, but for some reason my every thought comes back to you. Seeing you hurt this like this, it kills me. I hate seeing you depressed, but what makes it worse is that I know it's me that makes you hurt."

"So you feel guilty then?!" Spencer justified quickly. She just couldn't bring herself to believe that Toby really felt this way about her. It couldn't be true. She couldn't let it be. Toby was the one person who hadn't hurt her, and if she let him in like this, he could be the one to destroy her.

"No, that's not what I said," Toby couldn't believe out of all he had just confessed, that was what Spencer picked up on. "Do you know what Spencer, I keep on telling you things and it's like you refuse to hear them, I'm not sure what you want anymore," Toby was becoming tired fast. Tired of fighting, tired of waiting, but what's more, he was becoming tired of trying for something obviously not there. For a minute he considered giving up completely.

_**I wish, wishing for you to find your way  
And I'll hold on for all you need that's all we need to say  
I'll take my chances while you take your time with this game you play  
But I can't control your soul you need to let me know  
You leaving or you gonna stay?**_

"You want to know what I want Toby?" Spencer exhaled.

"Yes, I do, maybe then I can get you to hear me," he exasperated.

"Do you really want to know?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Try me," Toby challenged.

And then it was as though all at once Spencer had let go of it all. Like a hurricane finally reaching the shore she finally got up enough courage to declare what she really wanted, "I want freedom Toby. I want Freedom to make my own choices, to go where I want to go next year, to decide what _I _want to be and who I want to be with!" she practically screamed, "I want to make those choices, not you, not my parents, _me_!"

Toby stood there in silence for a moment. He had not been expecting that. He knew her parents put a lot of pressure on her, but he hadn't realized how much it had affected her. All she asked for in life was the ability to live how she wanted, yet everyone always made her decisions for her. Here stood the most beautiful girl, and nobody ever gave her a chance. Once again she proved to Toby that she was so much more than what the rest of the world saw her to be. For that one moment, Toby could see the sincerity and passion she offered to the world.

It was as though gravity was pulling him toward her as he took another step toward her. They were so close he could feel her sweet breathe against his skin. She didn't back away though, letting him come nearer as he gently tipped her chin up toward his with his thumb. He was surprised she had let him so close to her, but it was as though her sudden outburst had emptied her hostility toward the world.

_**You're the only one I ever believed in  
The answer that could never be found the moment you decided to let love in  
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel  
The end of fear is where we begin the moment we decided to let love in**_

Her eyes wide and scared as he slowly brought his lips closer to hers, finally they touched. Tenderly, Toby moves his mouth against her, Spencer molding her lips to fit his perfectly. After only a brief moment, Toby pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against her, their noses brushing against each other.

"…so make your choice," Toby breathes against her lips.

Spencer pauses for a second before announcing her answer. She brings her hand up against his neck, pulling him back in. She lets her lips do the talking as she tangles her hands in his hair. Toby puts his hand on the small of her back, brushing the skin where her shirt rids up as he pulls her in closer. Spencer skin feels like it's on fire. Toby slowly traces the outside of her lips with his tongue when Spencer begins to pull away. She steps out of his grasp and turns away from him suddenly, "I'm sorry," is all she can manage to say.

"Hey, Spencer wait!" Toby calls after her as she starts to run away, back toward her car. This time he doesn't let her go so easily. He races toward her, practically sprinting to keep up with her. She's almost to her Mercedes, fumbling with her keys when Toby grabs her arm and spins her toward him. Sorrow is hidden in her eyes behind her fear as Toby brushes a strand of hair behind her ear; she doesn't fight him, but doesn't give in either. She just stands there, not wanting to go, yet not willing to let go.

"Look, I know your scared Spencer, I am too." Toby admits, "But there's something here. I know you feel it. It's something I can't explain but we can't ignore… we've tried, and it doesn't work. Just let me in Spencer."

_**There's nothing we can do about  
The things we have to do without  
The only way to feel again  
Is let love in**_

Spencer slowly brings her hands up to cup his face, bringing it closer to hers once more. Every cell in her body was warning her against it, but her veins were pulsing with desire. Finally she gave in, and let go, crashing her lips against his once more.

Spencer brings her hands back around to his back, skimming underneath his shirt, tracing his muscles lightly with her fingertips. Toby tangles his hands in her hair. This time Spencer presses the tip of her tongue against his lips, before slowly forcing his mouth open. Toby moves one arm slowly down her spine, tracing her neck before moving his way down to the small of her back. Spencer's back arches at his touch and she moves her knee up along his leg, following his leg like a path, her inner thigh skimming his outer. As if he can't be close enough to her, Toby brings his hand down farther, cupping her butt and lifting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as if by instinct. Gently, Toby bites down on her tongue, causing a quiet moan to escape Spencer' mouth. A spark of electricity ignites in Spencer and suddenly all she can think about is how badly she wants him. Her movements become more rushed as she pulls him closer, eliminating any space that was left between them, which wasn't much, as she pushes herself against him.

_**There's nothing we can do about  
The things we have to live without  
The only way to see again  
Is let love in**_

Desire is painted in Spencer's eyes as she begins to trace Toby's jaw line with her lips before moving on to his ear. "I want _you_," she whispers. Suddenly Toby's pants feel about three-sizes too tight and he begins to walk slowing toward his truck, Spencer still wrapped around him, nibbling on his ear.

Once he finally reaches it, he gently puts Spencer down on the edge of the truck bed. He kisses her tenderly, her legs still wrapped around him with her hands on his neck, not willing to let go. At last, he pulls away slightly, "Hold on," he breathes, untangling her from him. Reluctantly, she lets him go. He grabs a blanket he keeps in the back of his truck for bonfires with their friends, quickly unfolds it, and lays it down on the ground.

He makes his way back to Spencer whose feet are now dangling off the edge of his truck, awaiting his return. As he approaches her, her eyes are softly yearning, staring down at his soft lips. She gently runs her hand through his hair. As he looks deep into her eyes, questioning to make sure this is what she wants. Reassuringly, she nods once before bringing her hands down to the hem of his shirt, slowing pulling it over his head and dropping it to the ground.

She traces the lines on his stomach with her fingertips, and he shudders at her touch. Pulling her back against him once more, they tangle together again as he carries her to the blanket on the ground. Slowly he lays her down, bringing his lips to hers. Toby holds himself up above her, trying his best not to crush her with his weight. Cautiously, he brings one hand down, toying with the hem of her shirt. As if giving permission, Spencer raises her hands above her head. Slowly, Toby begins to remove it, leaving a tender kiss at each newly exposed portion of skin. Moving from her stomach, up to her boobs, to her collarbone, finally Toby makes his way to her lips once more. Spencer moves her hands down his chest, resting them on the edge of his jeans, searching blindly for the button to undo them as her lips move against his. But Toby captures both of her hands in one of his, before breaking their kiss. Looking deep into her eyes, searching for any sign of regret "Are you sure?" he questions.

"I've never been more sure," Spencer replies simply.

And with that Toby releases her hands and allows her to undo his jeans. He helps her push them off of him altogether, before moving on to hers. Slowly and cautiously at first he moves on top of her until she calls out his name. He picks up the pace until they both meet ecstasy. Finally, he collapses beside her, trying to catch his breath. Pulling her close to him, he wraps them both in the blanket.

Spencer can't help but smile, leaving a quick kiss against his chest as she nuzzles her head against him. They lay there in silence, both experiencing the most happiness they had ever known, laying simply in each other's arms.

After a while, Spencer finally breaks the quiet, "Do you want to know something?" she whispers against him.

"…hmmmm?" Toby replies in contentment.

"…that was my first time," she admits shyly.

Toby looks down at her shocked, "…what about Andrew?" he asks.

"He always wanted to, but it just never felt like the right time to me," she explains simply.

"Spencer…if I had known…I would have made it more special...not on a dirty old blanket…."guilt fills Toby's voice. Spencer deserved the very best experience for her first time, and while that had been special in its own way, they were still laying on a dirty old blanket.

"No, no. It was perfect," she reassured him, reaching up to kiss his lips lazily to prove her point. In truth, it had been perfect for Spencer. There were no expectations, no pressure. It was her choice and she loved every second of it.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, their bodies twisted together. But for the first time in both of their lives, they felt as though they could let go, and be at peace. No parents to please, no significant others to worry about, just each other.

_**You're the only one I ever believed in  
The answer that could never be found  
The moment you decided to let love in  
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel  
The end of fear is where we begin  
The moment we decided to let love in**_

* * *

**I'm really nervous/ excited for what you guys think of this chapter! Please help me out by critiquing my writing, anyway I can improve? Please let me know if you think of something!  
**

**Also...**

**How will Spencer's parents react to this? Will Spencer freak out on Toby again?**

**Lemme know your predictions too, they're so much fun to read! **

**Much love,**

**Katelyn. **


	11. Catch Me

**Hey guys, I know it seems like it's been forever since I've updated and I'm sorry. Life gets kind of crazy sometimes, but this chapter is longer so I hope that makes up for it! I kind of have mixed feelings about this chapter so any feedback would be much appreciated! This chapter was inspired by the song "Catch Me" by Demi Lovato.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Catch Me**

_**Before I fall too fast  
Kiss me quick but make it last  
So I can see how badly this will hurt me when you say goodbye**_

A chorus of chirping birds created a sweet melody as they looked down at the sleeping lovers from their place in the trees. The sun began to rise on the blissful Saturday morning as Toby stirred slightly in his sleep. A cool morning breeze swayed over his body, causing him to become much more alert. It took him a second to look around at his surroundings before his tired mind was able to process that he was in fact sleeping naked on the hill and the lovely girl in his arms was in fact Spencer Hastings.

A smile trapped his face as the events of the night before washed over him. Trying his best not to wake her, Toby sweetly placed a kiss on Spencer's forehead. He just couldn't help himself. She looked so sweet and so innocent in his arms as though that was where she belonged. But she stirred at the contact. It took her a minute before she eventually she opened her eyes. Her head rested on his chest, with his arms securely wrapped around her. Peeking up at the bright sun, she slowly gazed up to meet Toby's charming baby blues before letting out a light chuckle and hiding her face again against his chest.

"What?" Toby couldn't help with laugh with her, it was as though her smile was contagious.

"It's nothing," Spencer could barely let the words escape her lips because she was laughing too hard.

"No, really what is it?" Toby was now too curious.

But Spencer was practically curled up against his chest, dying of laughter. Toby waited patiently for her to explain. Finally, Spencer looked up at him once more, "I just can't believe what happened last night, that's all…"

Honestly, Spencer knew what had happened last night wasn't funny, it was sweet and romantic, but she was in such utter disbelief that laughter was the only escape she could fathom. She knew it was crazy, but it was like it was all too good to be true. Everything had just happened so fast, one minute she was bitterly angry with Toby, the next she was waking up naked in his arms.

_**Keep it sweet, keep it slow  
Let the future pass and don't let go  
But tonight I could fall too soon into this beautiful moonlight**_

"You're weird, you know that?" Toby teased with a smile, leaning down to leave a kiss on her nose.

"….and hungry…" Spencer added. Spencer would have been perfectly content lying there, wrapped up in Toby's arms all day if her stomach hadn't insisted on gaining some fuel.

"Coffee too?" Toby knew that coffee was Spencer's biggest weakness, she was so addicted she practically couldn't function without it.

Spencer's smile grew nearly twice the size at the thought of caffeine as she nodded eagerly in response.

Toby pulled on his boxers under the blanket before getting up at last to grab the rest of his clothes that had been thrown around them last night. Then he began picking up Spencer's as well and handed them to her as she put them on under the blanket. "Why don't we go home and change into some clothes that aren't soaked by morning dew, then I'll pick you up and take you to the Brew in fifteen minutes?"

"Okay," Spencer agreed easily.

Momentarily they parted ways, driving in opposite directions from the hill. It was odd really, the hill was directly in the middle of Rosewood, separating the upper and lower classes. In a way it separated the two different lives that Toby and Spencer lived, yet at the same time, they couldn't be more similar –parents with ridiculous expectations that offered them nothing but complete negligence, siblings that stood out like the brightest star, and the reality that neither Spencer nor Toby would ever be able to shine quite as bright as their siblings. Spencer considered how similar her life truly was to Toby's as she pulled up in her driveway.

Empty again, her parents had gone away once more on some type of business trip Spencer couldn't remember where to. They didn't use to travel so much, but that was when Melissa and Jason had been home. Now that it was only Spencer and her parents in a big empty house, they spent almost every weekend either away on work or visiting Melissa in the city, leaving Spencer all alone.

Spencer entered the quiet mansion and made her way up to her bedroom, changed into a simple sundress and a cardigan. She brushed her teeth and quickly began to run a comb through her knotted hair when she heard a loud honk coming from outside. Just on time, Toby was waiting for her in his rusty old truck. Practically running, she rushed out of the dreary giant house to meet him.

_**But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep  
And I can see this unraveling  
Your love is where I'm falling but please don't catch me...**_

"You're early," Spencer scolded, taking her seat in the passenger side.

"What? I told you fifteen minutes," Toby responded.

"No, when you tell me fifteen minutes you should know _I_ mean at least a half an hour," Spencer shook her head trying to explain the rules of girls to him.

"Well, I guess I could wait out here for another fifteen minutes if _your-highness_ would like another fifteen minutes to get ready, even though you look beautiful," Toby offered.

"No, no, it's fine," Spencer stated nonchalantly, blushing slightly at his compliment, "you're just lucky that I really want coffee."

"Okay, I get the hint," Toby said as he started the truck and drove down the winding driveway, to the Brew.

Upon arrival, Spencer is quick to order a large black coffee. Toby laughs at her eagerness for caffeine, but follows suit ordering the same.

They laughed light-heartedly that morning, and Spencer is thankful that things are finally going back to how they were that summer.

"How are you already half-way done with your coffee? This thing is freaking huge!" Toby exclaims. His looked as though it was barely touched even though he had hardly set it down.

"Practice makes perfect," Spencer winked at him, taking another long sip of the dark liquid that tasted like gold on her lips.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have issues? Like you seriously have to be an addict," Toby said, only half-teasing.

"Yeah, well coffee is my drug of choice," Spencer admits.

"Wait, that's good!" Toby exclaimed, "The first step to recovery is acknowledging you have a problem."

"Oh, god…" Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Now for step two, repeat after me, 'I have power over my addiction, it does not control me.'"

"Oh, shut up. If you take away my coffee, you'll regret it," Spencer threatened, taking another sip.

"Oh really?" Toby raised his eyebrows in question, "Is that a challenge?"

"NO!" Spencer almost screams, protectively turning away from him, hiding her coffee behind her arms.

Toby can't help but laugh at her seriousness, he was certain at this point that Spencer's addiction was more than that. She was clutching on to it as though it was her lifeline.

Honestly, Toby was surprised that they were able to be so light-hearted that morning, bringing back memories of the summer. Neither one had really talked about what had happened last night, not acknowledging it yet not forgetting it either. Spencer was too afraid that it was real, as Toby was too afraid of Spencer's reaction. She had been so quick to push him away every chance she got, Toby was feared she might do it again, so instead he decided to ignore it for the time-being, wanting to relish the moment instead.

_**See this heart won't settle down  
Like a child running scared from a clown  
I'm terrified of what you do  
My stomach screams just when I look at you**_

They teased each other easily at the Brew for another hour or so, until Toby was finally able to finish his coffee, and Spencer had moved on to her second. Toby drove them home, as they sat quietly listening to the music on the radio as Spencer looked out the window, watching the houses gradually get bigger and bigger until Toby begins to drive up the long meandering drive-way that led to her hundred-acre home.

Finally reaching her house, Toby put the car in park. Spencer turned to say goodbye when Toby reached out for her hand, "hey, wait a second," he says.

This was the moment Spencer had been dreading the whole ride home. She wish he could just let her go, and go back to how it was earlier, like the summer, nothing serious. But she knew him well enough to know he wouldn't give up that easily.

"What is it?" Spencer pretends to ignore the elephant in the room.

"Well, don't you think we should figure out what's going on between us?" Toby questions, careful not to put any pressure on her.

Spencer took a deep breath, gathering all the courage she could muster before replying, "Look, last night was amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world." Spencer lets out an exasperated sigh, "But I _just_ broke up with my boyfriend of three years, and I just don't want to get into anything serious right now. I mean you _just_ broke up with Mona, like what? Three days ago?"

"Seven," Toby corrects her quietly.

"Ok, so seven days. That's only a week! Maybe we should just go back to how things were this summer. I just don't want to mess anything up between us. This isn't a rebound relationship, I'd rather just have my best friend back," Spencer explains.

This is where her comfort zone is, and where Spencer wanted to be for the time being. Sure it had only been a week where Spencer hadn't talked to Toby, but it had felt so much longer than that, and Spencer wasn't sure how long she could go without her best friend if something were to happen between them.

_**Run far away so I can breathe  
Even though you're far from suffocating me  
I can't set my hopes too high  
'Cause every "Hello" ends with a "Goodbye"**_

"Yeah, I get it," Toby nods in understanding. He squeezes her hand once before letting her go, into the vacant manor. Every inch of Toby was begging him to stop her, to convince her to be with him, but something stopped him short of this.

Maybe she was right, maybe their friendship was too valuable to risk losing in some rebound relationship. He watched her head inside running a hand through his hair, not truly satisfied with how the conversation had ended. But what else was he supposed to do? Toby was stuck, he didn't want to push her too far and didn't want to ruin their friendship –he had just gotten her back after all –but something inside of him yearned to hold her in his arms once more, for a night as incredible as the previous. But it was too late, she was gone. Reluctantly, Toby drove away, toward his own house.

Spencer spent the remainder of that day feeling fairly confident with her talk with Toby. Sure, she would love to have another night like the previous, but what if things didn't work out? So much was changing already that Spencer wasn't sure she could risk losing her best friend on top of it all. Reluctantly she began to finish the rest of her Yale and Harvard applications, only taking a break to heat up leftovers for lunch and dinner in the microwave.

Before Spencer knew it, the day had passed her by, bringing on the dark nightfall once more. Not having any plans for that night, briefly Spencer considered calling Hanna, but decided better against it once she realized she had plans with her boyfriend. Instead, she opted for the traditional single girl night in as she ordered pizza and watched _Clueless. _

As she watched the witty and charming Alicia Silverstone fall for Paul Rudd, something bothered her. How was Cher so oblivious to Josh's feelings toward her, it was so obvious. He may have teased her constantly, but there was something always hidden in his eyes, the way he spoke to her it was as though she couldn't realize how much potential she had. It almost reminded Spencer of the way Toby had looked at her, almost. Spencer quickly shook the thought away, focusing her attention on the cheesy-goodness of the half pizza she had consumed, taking another slice.

_**But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep  
And I can see this unraveling  
Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me...**_

The movie was just about to finish when she swore she heard a loud bang from below her, on the first floor. It sounded like a door had opened. But her parents weren't coming home for another two days, Spencer panicked. She was probably just hearing things, she reasoned easily turning her attention back to the movie. But then she swore she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Terror spread through Spencer like the plague. Jumping up from her bed, Spencer grabbed a pair of scissors from her desk, prepared to take on the intruder. The door slowly creaked open, to reveal none other than a sapphire eyed boy.

"Fuck Toby!" Spencer screamed at him, chucking a pillow from her bed toward him, "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Oh, sorry," Toby said quietly, running a hand through his hair, distractedly. His eyes seemed distant as though he had been contemplating something for hours.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer questioned, still recovering from her shock.

Toby finally looked into her eyes, a serious expression imprisoning his face. "I don't want to be just friends," he blurted out suddenly.

"Toby…." Spencer started.

"No, I know we agreed on it, but it's not what I want, and I don't think it's what you want either," Toby interrupted her.

"I thought I got to choose what _I_ wanted," Spencer reminded him.

"You do, of course you do. But I know you," Toby started to walk toward her on the other side of the room as he spoke confidently. "You want passion and adventure. You want something you can believe in and someone you can love with everything you have. Last night was everything I didn't realize I was looking for, and I think you realized it too," he finally meets her and takes a hold of her hand.

Spencer doesn't talk for what feels like an eternity, carefully taking in Toby's every word.

_**So now you see why I'm scared  
I can't open up my heart without a care  
But here I go, It's what I feel  
And for the first time in my life I know it's real**_

"You're right," she whispers at last, "but I just can't do it Toby," she continues, walking away from him, and taking a seat on the edge of her bed, needing to sit down in an attempt to calm her spinning head.

"It's too much…" she persists, "I have enough on my plate as it is with my parents, I can't take the pressure of a relationship too –especially after Andrew."

Toby stood there in silence, slowly walking toward Spencer and taking a seat beside her on her bed.

"Okay," he agreed simply, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of a compromise. "…but what if there was no pressure?" he asked at last.

Spencer gave him a confused look as she furrowed her eyebrows.

"What if we just take things slow –no defining anything until we're sure of what we are," he suggested.

"Take things slow…" Spencer repeated, "Toby look I want to be with you, I do, but I just can't right now."

"Hey, no pressure, we're just taking things slow," he reminded her, capturing her hands in his own once more.

Spencer smiled at the warmth and comfort the simple gesture brought her. She loved how easy it was for him to calm her down and to still her anxieties. Maybe she could take things slow –that seemed simple enough.

"What does it mean exactly to take things slow?" Spencer asked softly, her voice was now at ease, as she shifted on her bed so she was fully facing Toby.

"….does that mean I can do this?" Spencer asked, leaning in and gently pecking his lips.

"mmmmhhhhmmmm," Toby hummed.

"….and this?" Spencer tangled her hands in his hair, deepening the kiss.

"mmmhhmmmm," Toby murmured again.

_**But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep  
And I can see this unraveling  
Your love is where I'm falling, so please don't catch me**_

Toby wrapped his arms around Spencer, bringing her closer to him as he rested his hand on the small of her back. Spencer smiled against his lips, "hmmm… I could get used to this…." She whispered.

"Good," Toby responded quickly, lifting her up and placing her on his lap. She placed her legs willingly on either side of him, straddling him while never breaking the kiss.

They kissed softly, sweetly, not pushing any boundaries for a while, enjoying the butterflies fluttering in their stomachs. Spencer brought her hands down Toby's chest, feeling the lines of his stomach before easily lifting his shirt up, over his head. Her fingers traced the lines indented into his stomach as Toby shuddered, slightly ticklish. Spencer traced all the lines, all the way up, before Toby took a hold of her chin, leading her mouth up to his once more. Spencer took advantage of Toby's eagerness for her lips and kissed him fiercely as if driven by roaring flames. Toby responded quickly, adding fuel to the fire, mirrored her intensity. She brought her hands down to his belt, blindly searching for his buckle as they kissed.

But Toby pulled back suddenly, he held her face in one hand, and her trouble-making hands in the other. "Hey, we're taking things slow remember?" Toby chuckled at her as her face morphed into a pout quickly.

Spencer leaned in to bring her face closer to his, lightly leaving a path of kisses on his jaw, nose, and ear. "…hmmm.. you sure that's not a part of taking things slow?" Spencer breathed into his ear.

Toby gulped, trying his best not to give in as he rested his hand on her shoulders and reluctantly removed her soft lips from his skin. "Spencer, when you're ready for something real, we'll make it real. Until then, we'll take things slow," Toby reasoned hesitantly. He wasn't sure if he was explaining this more to Spencer or himself.

"…that's not fair," Spencer sulked.

Toby couldn't help but smile at her childish behavior she had resorted to. He brought his lips to her nose, leaving an innocent kiss there and tucked a straggling hair behind her ear.

"Go to sleep Spencer, I'll see you tomorrow," Toby gently picked her up off of him and placed her gently down, so her head was on her pillow. He got up from the bed and went to reach for his shirt when Spencer seized it from its place on the bed before he could grab it. She held it tight against her chest, not willing to let it go.

"No, this is mine now," Spencer declared.

"What? Spencer, I have to drive home…" Toby tried to reason with her.

"Consider it collateral." Spencer shrugged, "…or you could stay here and get it back in the morning."

"Hmm… as tempting as that sounds, consider it a parting gift," Toby stated, making his way toward the door.

Spencer followed him down the long hallway and down the stairs toward the massive front door. Before opening it, Toby turned towards her, kissing her tenderly once more. "Goodnight Spencer, sweet dreams," he whispered, "And don't forget to lock the doors."

"Okay," she whispered back, pecking his lips before he opens the door and disappears into the illuminating moonlight. She closes the door and locks it, following his instructions, before heading back up the stairs to her room. As she collapses on her bed, she hugs his shirt to her once more. She holds it against her all night, smelling the musk of his cologne finally allows her to sleep peacefully for the first time in a long time. She doesn't wake up in the middle of the night worried about her grades, or her parents, she just thinks of him as she drifts asleep serenely.

_**If this is love please don't break me  
I'm giving up so just catch me**_

* * *

**So...whatcha think? How long do you think that Spoby wil****l be able to take things slow? Will Spencer get freaked out again?**

**pssst...how excited are we that PLL summer season is starting up soon? **

**Feel free to leave a review! Thank you to all that take the time to give me feedback, I appreciate it so much and thanks again for reading my story :)**


	12. Overjoyed

**Hey guys! So I worked really hard on this chapter and I'm really proud of it. I'm trying to update more, and I think I've gotten better at it, but I'm going on vacation for a few days, then I have graduation this weekend, so I'm hoping to update again this weekend, but please don't be too upset if i can't. Anyways, if you follow me on tumblr you probably know i'm kind of obsessed with Matchbox 20 right now, so this chapter was inspired by their song "Overjoyed." Enjoy!**

**Chapter 12: Overjoyed**

_**Feeling my hands start shaking  
Hearing your voice I'm overjoyed  
I'm sorry but I have no choice  
You're only getting better**_

The leaves began to deepen in color, igniting into flames upon the trees. An abundance of deep red, dark browns, and vibrant orange cover the city of Rosewood as the days of September began to fade away. The warm summer nights are no more as the cool fall breeze blew them away. But on the first day of October there was one last tease of summer warmth, taking advantage of the nice weather, Spencer decided to wear a rather short red dress matched perfectly with a blazer. For some reason she was feeling more girly than usual lately. Maybe it was the way Toby eyed her in the hallway whenever she showed off her legs, or the way he told her how beautiful she looked that made her want to look her best.

It had nearly been a week since Spencer and Toby had pushed the limits of friendship into the something more category. They still had yet to label anything as official, but the smile hadn't left Spencer's face since. Something had changed within her, she felt giddy with excitement as her stomach did somersaults every time she thought of Toby. They tried to keep things on the down-low at school, not wanting to confirm or deny anything until they could define it themselves. He started to drive her to school every day, just so he could spend an extra ten minutes with her. They also met every day before lunch and walked together then took seats next to each other while they ate. Getting to see Toby was the highlight of Spencer's day, she just hated how she had to wait for nearly half of the day to be over with before she got to see him again.

As the clock ticked the seconds away during Spencer' A.P. English class, Spencer couldn't help but count down the minutes to lunch. It felt as though the clock was mocking her as the seconds passed. Finally a loud bell rang loud and clear. Spencer quickly put away her notebook and pen in her bag, and made her way to her locker. About fifteen yards in front of her stood Toby at his locker, talking to Caleb. Not wanting to disturb their conversation, Spencer waited patiently at her locker, starring at Toby until he finally noticed her. At last Toby closed his locker and made his way toward her. Spencer looked him up and down as he came closer. Damn, did he look good today. He wore a tight black t-shirt that accentuated his biceps and a pair of dark jeans.

_**Maybe you have your reasons  
Maybe you're scared you'll be let down  
Are you crying when there's no one around  
Then maybe…**_

"Hey," Toby greeted her with a smile, brushing his hand against her arm, "you look so beautiful," Toby checked her out, taking his time as his eyes followed her miles of legs up.

"Hi," blushing slightly, Spencer smiled down at her feet. She wrapped her finger around his pinky, leading him down the hallway. Toby didn't question her and followed her easily, as she stopped abruptly at an empty classroom. Taking out a set of keys from her bag, she unlocked the door, "Student council privileges," Spencer explained easily. She stuck her head inside, making sure no one was there before pulling Toby in and locking the door.

She turned toward him, grabbing sections of his shirt with her hands and pulling him into her. Toby crashed his lips with hers, backing up so Spencer was pressed tightly between him and the door. He rested his hands against the door, allowing him to get even closer. Spencer traced his bottom lip with her tongue as Toby moved his hand down, discovering the curves of her body. The heat from his hands made her pulse race with desire. Resting her hands on his shoulders, Spencer jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Spencer explored Toby's mouth with her tongue. As Toby slightly bit down on her tongue, a low moan escaped Spencer's mouth.

A loud bell announced the beginning of lunch bringing their attention back to reality. Taking her lips away from Toby's, Spencer tangled her hands in his hair, "…we should go, they'll start to get suspicious," Spencer stated reluctantly, talking about their friends.

But Toby brought his lips closer to hers, "they already are suspicious," he breathed against her mouth, kissing her deeply once more.

"Well maybe we shouldn't give them anything to be suspicious about," Spencer countered as Toby moved his lips to her neck.

"Fine, if you insist…" Toby husked against her skin, sending shivers through Spencer's spine. He slowly set her down, dragging her body against his, leaving his hands on her butt.

Unlocking the door, Spencer brushed her dress down and smoothed her hair, "Do I look ok?" Spencer asked Toby.

"You look so sexy," Toby declared, bring his lips to the back of her neck.

"Toby!" Spencer brushed him away, but couldn't help the pink in her cheeks from making an appearance.

Spencer grabbed her bag she had thrown on the floor, and led the way into the hallway, toward the cafeteria with Toby on her heels. He let her walk in front, taking advantage of the view.

"Where the hell were you two?" Hanna questioned as Toby and Spencer took a seat across from her.

"Toby was just helping me with something," Spencer defended.

Toby chuckled lightly at Spencer's bad lie but nonetheless added, "Yeah, Spencer couldn't find her history book."

"I'm sure you helped her find it," Caleb smirked.

_**Maybe if you hold me baby  
Let me come over  
I will tell you secrets nobody knows  
I cannot overstate it  
I will be overjoyed**_

"I overheard a couple of freshmen in the hallway say that the blonde senior in their gym class is hot," Aria turned toward Hanna changing the subject.

"Oh god," Hanna hit her hand against her forehead, "all the freshmen are evil I swear."

"Apparently they like you," Emily snickered.

A wave of relief passed through Spencer as Hanna started telling a story of how moronic freshmen guys can be –especially when playing basketball.

Toby, only half listening to Hanna's story, became fascinated with the brunette to his right. Her dress clung to her in all the right places. It ridded up when she was sitting down, revealing her upper thigh. Toby placed his hand over her knee, squeezing it lightly. Spencer looked down at his gesture, but didn't say anything, trying to be nonchalant. Careful to make sure no one would notice, he slowly brought his hand up her leg, skimming her bare skin with his fingers. Spencer gave him a warning glance, but didn't say anything, secretly loving the dangerous sensation as his hand moved farther up her leg. His hand finally reached the hem of her dress when Spencer captured it in her hand, running her fingers along his knuckles.

Turning as if looking around the lunchroom, she whispered, "Toby…."

"This is your fault you know," Toby said quietly, a cocky grin on his face as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"What is? The fact that you don't know how to keep your hands to yourself?" Spencer stated.

"Yeah, because you look too damn sexy in that dress," Toby's grin widened.

_**The smile on your face like summer  
The way that your hand keeps touching mine  
Let me be the one that make it right  
And maybe…**_

"Toby…." Spencer warned again, though her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as she looked down once more and her and Toby's intertwined fingers.

"Okay, what is going on between you guys?" Emily interrupted.

"Yeah, you're both so absorbed with each other it's sickening," Hanna made a disgusted face.

"What? There's nothing going on!" Spencer declared, "We're just friends!"

While this may not have been the complete truth, it was honest enough. They weren't anything official and both Toby and Spencer knew that. Every time she saw him, all she wanted was the taste of his lips. There was something about the way he made her feel, as though she mattered and for the first time she was good enough. She didn't have to compete with anyone for his attention, he was more than happy to make her feel extraordinary.

Spencer and Toby were still friends though, technically, even though they found themselves making out every time they were alone. They never went farther than that though, not wanting to cross that line again until they were both ready to makes things official.

"If you insist," Emily smiled knowingly.

Toby stayed quiet at Spencer's side, letting her handle things. "Stop looking at us like that!" Spencer spat, trying to conceal her smile.

"Like what?" Emily challenged.

Taking a minute to phrase her response, Spencer paused before stating, "Like I said, we're just friends. Now can we move on?"

Before any of their friends could deepen the pink on Spencer's cheeks, a loud coughing came from behind Spencer. The whole table's eyes were glued on the person behind her, a worried expression inhibiting each of their faces.

"Ahemm….slut…" Coughed Andrew again. Spencer turned around, shocked at his accusation.

"What was that?" Spencer questioned.

"You're a whore," Andrew proclaimed with a straight face staring at Spencer.

"Don't call her that!" Toby got up from his seat, towering over Andrew.

But Andrew didn't back down, "You two slept together this summer and I know it!"

"That didn't happen, I told you!" Spencer stood up next to Toby.

"Bullshit!" Andrew snapped.

"Why does it even matter anymore? We're done remember? You made that clear when you dumped me for the girl you slept with in D.C." Spencer argued.

"You're a little whore that's why!" Andrew practically screamed.

Sucking in a breath, Spencer begged the tears to stay back as her face turned red with anger. Taking one look at her, rage filled Toby's veins. How dare Andrew talk to Spencer like that? She did nothing wrong.

"Oh, stop crying you slut, you did this to yourself," Andrew insisted.

Before Toby realized what he was doing, his hand morphed into a fist, his fingers clutching together as he brought his arm back and smashed his fist into Andrew's face. Falling to the ground, Andrew grasped his face in pain. Spencer stood there, stunned at what had just unfolded in front of her.

"C'mon let's go," Toby grabbed Spencer's hand, picked up his bag and led her to his truck in the parking lot. They sat in silence as Toby drove away from the school, toward the one place they both felt at ease. Once they finally reached the hill, Toby turned off the truck, and took Spencer's arm, leading her to take a seat beside him on the grass.

_**Maybe let me hold you, baby  
Let me come over  
I will tell you secrets nobody knows  
I cannot overstate it  
I will be overjoyed**_

He took a second to admire the view, it was the one place where you could see all of Rosewood, yet it was the one place Toby could get away from all the prejudices, all the expectations and disappointment.

After a few minutes of silence, Toby finally turned to look at Spencer. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were still puffy with sorrow. Brushing his fingers along her cheek, Toby finally broke the silence, "Hey you don't deserve that. You did nothing wrong," he assured her.

Spencer nodded slightly, leaning into his touch, "I know. I'm just glad I'm done with him," she confessed.

"Hey do you remember when I picked you up for the Elvis Costello concert this summer?" Toby changed the subject.

"Yeah, you called me because you got lost in my driveway," Spencer chuckled lightly.

"In my defense it has to be at least a mile long," he insisted, "but anyways, I remember you had on shorts that showed off your legs. I took one look at you and knew I was screwed."

"Oh you did not!" Spencer snorted.

But Toby shook his head, "oh, no, I swear," he put up his hands, "and when we were at the concert, the way you lost yourself in the music. It was intoxicating. I think I spent most of the time watching you," Toby admits.

"Why didn't you say anything all summer?"

"I knew I couldn't act on it, there was Mona and Andrew involved. Besides I liked you as my best friend then," Toby told her.

"Well what about now?" she asked.

Toby took a deep breath before replying, "I like you as my best friend now too, but where we are now is even better, and where we're going…"

Spencer nodded, content with his answer. "My parents told me I have that if I don't get into Harvard or Yale, I'll be a huge disappointment to the family," she opened up.

Toby put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him as she spoke. "The thing is though," she continued, "I don't think that's where I want to go. I mean, my whole life has been this huge competition and I don't think I want to go to a super competitive school. I just want to go somewhere where I can feel at home, not surrounded by a bunch of rich kids whose families had to pay for a library so they could get in to that school."

_**And if you want, we'll share this life  
Anytime you need a friend I'm gonna be by your side  
When nobody understands you  
Well, I do...**_

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Toby asked, "Where do _you_ want to go?"

Spencer took a second to think. That was the first time anyone had asked her that. "I'm not sure," she admitted at last, "I've never really had the option of thinking about it. My parents had this planned out for me since before I was born, I never had a say."

Taking both of her hands in his, Toby turned so he was fully facing her now, "Quick, if you could live anywhere where would it be?"

Spencer sat there a moment, considering her options.

"Hurry, come on. The first place that comes to mind," Toby commanded.

"…if I could live anywhere I wanted, it would probably be New York," Spencer confessed.

Toby looked at her puzzled, "why New York?"

"I remember I went there as a kid once, it was the only family vacation I remember. We took the train in and I remember walking out of Grand Central Station and it was like a whole new world –almost magical. It was so alive and the people there were so free to do whatever they wanted. There were so many possibilities there, I never wanted to leave," Spencer said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

The look in Spencer's eyes made Toby want nothing else but to give her what she wanted. He wished he could have dreams as big as hers, but he didn't know what he wanted. All he truly wished for was to move far away from Rosewood. He didn't care where, just anywhere away from here.

"What about you?" Spencer asked him, "Where do you want to go?"

But Toby shook his head, "I don't care really. I just want to get away from here. I've never left Rosewood really you know? I've never traveled, my family can't afford that. I just want to get away from them."

"You never talk about your family much," she observed.

The more Spencer thought about it, the more she realized how little she really knew about Toby's life at home. Sure he had told her about how much of a disappointment he was to his family which wasn't fair to him, and how Jenna often caused their parents to look down at him, but she had never been to his house before. She had only waited in his truck in his driveway, but never inside. It was like there were dark secrets he wanted to keep hidden there from the rest of the world.

"Trust me, you don't want to hear it," Toby advised.

"Try me," she encouraged.

Toby looked down at their intertwined hands, taking in a deep breath before answering, "My mom died when I was twelve, she had cancer and it all happened so fast. She was at stage four when they caught it," he took another deep breath before continuing, "Then four months after she died my dad remarried, and Jenna and my step-mom moved in. But something was never right between my dad and my step-mom. He started drinking all the time when I was fourteen. Now the only thing he does when he's sober is yell at me because he's hung-over, but most of the time I find him passed out on the couch."

Spencer brought her hand up to lift Toby's chin, forcing him to look at her. His beautiful blue eyes were full of sadness and all Spencer wanted to do was take it all away. He was probably the sweetest person she had ever met, and he had been through so much, she had no idea. Her life was practically heaven compared to his.

_**So maybe let me hold you baby  
Let me come over  
I will tell you secrets God only knows  
I cannot overstate it  
I will be overjoyed**_

"You don't deserve that Toby. You don't deserve any of it," she whispered against his lips, leaning in and kissing all the pain away. Toby wrapped his arm around her, tugging her into his lap. He pulled away slightly, tracing her cheek with his thumb, "Thank you," he mumbled.

"Any time," she promised, giving him another quick kiss before resting her head against his chest. She closed her eyes as she breathed in his scent, wondering what it would be like to lay in his arms forever. Toby tucked her head under his chin, holding her close. They sat there like that for what felt like hours, content with just sitting in each other's arms.

Toby thought Spencer must have fallen asleep in his arms as he left a kiss on to top of her head, she had been quiet for so long, and her breathing had softened. "Are you sleeping?" Toby softly murmured in her ear.

"No, just thinking," she stated quietly.

"Care to share?" he inquired.

"It's not important," she assured him, "what time is it?"

Toby dug his phone out of his pocket, "Almost three," he said.

"We've been out here for almost four hours, you know that?" Spencer informed him.

"It doesn't feel like it's been that long."

"I know…" she agreed.

"Do you have to go home?" he asked her reluctantly.

"Probably," she answered unenthusiastically, "my parent told me that I have to be done with my Princeton application before they leave on their business trip tomorrow. They've already made me re-do it three times."

"They're leaving you again?"

"Yeah, they've been gone almost every weekend since school started," she admitted.

"Well, I should probably get you home then," Toby said, gently pulling her off of him, and helping her to her feet. He drove down the hill and toward her house. Once he finally reached the end of her winding driveway, he put the truck in park. Spencer turned toward him, resting a hand on his cheek, "thank you for today," she said pulling him closer so she could taste his lips one more time.

_**Baby  
Let me come over  
I will tell you secrets nobody knows  
I cannot overstate it  
I will be overjoyed**_

"Any time," he assured her, kissing her back. Pulling away, Spencer opened the door and walked toward her house. But just as she was about to open the front door, Toby rolled down the passenger window. Leaning across the seat he called after her, "Oh, and Spencer," he shouted as she turned to look at him, "I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight."

A puzzled look encountered Spencer's face, "for what?"

"For our first date," he said, winking at her. A smile spread across Spencer face, as Toby began to drive away, down the winding road once more.

_**Well, I will be overjoyed  
Well, I will be overjoyed**_

* * *

**So... whatcha think?  
**

**Who's excited for a Spoby date? **

**Any criticism/compliments/suggestions are greatly appreciated. I love reviews and am so greatly for those who constantly leave me feedback! So thank you guys! **


	13. Kiss Me

**Hey guys! So This chapter is something i've been looking forward to writing for a long time now. I just hope I did it justice. Anyways, this chapter was inspired by the song "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheeran, and it's one of those songs that has so much underlying meaning in the music as well as the lyrics I strongly recommend listening to it, even if it's quiet, while you read this. It just creates this indescribable atmosphere that is hard to describe, it's something that only music can do. I always recommend listening to the song I incorporate into each chapter, but this chapter especially. Ok, enough with my music rants, enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think, i'm really nervous about the reaction for this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Kiss Me**

_**Settle down with me  
Cover me up, cuddle me in  
Lie down with me and hold me in your arms**_

Pacing back and forth, Spencer waited anxiously for Toby's arrival. The clock read 7:55 as Spencer smoothed down her short lacy-white dress, making sure it looked perfect. It was a little tight, but it hugged her in all the right places she was sure Toby would like. Spencer had hung out with Toby a million times, but for some reason she couldn't explain the new butterflies that filled her stomach and how her nerves left her on-edge.

For the hundredth time she checked her appearance in the mirror in her bathroom. Her chestnut locks were curled to make perfect waves framing her face. She kept her makeup natural for the most part, expect for an extra coat of mascara and some dark brown eye shadow, making her mocha eyes pop. Adding one more layer of clear lip-gloss she heard a gentle roar from outside. It sounded a lot louder than Toby's rusty truck. Running to the window, she spotted Toby sitting on a motorcycle. She quickly grabbed her clutch and jacket, and practically ran down the stairs to meet him.

As Spencer stepped outside, Toby took his helmet off, shaking his hair. Taking one look at her, his breath hitched, and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. Spencer blushed at lust in his eyes, making her way toward him. He had on a simple button down shirt and a pair of jeans. For most guys the outfit might look underdressed for a date, but for Toby, he looked like some sort of Greek god. As she approached, Toby reached out for her, placing his hands on her hips automatically. She kissed him lightly, taking in the taste of his lips as she said hello.

"I didn't know you had a motorcycle," she commented quietly.

Trying to find his voice, Toby blinked a few times before he could speak. He was still distracted by the beauty in his arms, "um… yeah, my uncle sold it to me cheap. It used to be a piece of junk, but I just finished fixing it up."

Taking her eyes off of him for the first time, Spencer scanned the motorcycle with her eyes. She had never been on one before, but always secretly wanted to, it seemed so dangerous and so unexpected of her.

"How come you never told me about it?" she asked.

"I don't know, I guess I just never thought to bring it up. Besides, I never thought I would actually get it running, so it wasn't worth talking about," Toby explained, running a hand up and down her side.

He picked up his helmet, "this is for you," he said as he gently placed in on her head, and fastened the strap.

"I bet I look like such a dork," Spencer mused as he put it on for her.

"No, you look beautiful," Toby insisted, "even with the dorky helmet," he smirked.

The butterflies in Spencer's stomach fluttered with twice the speed, as if they were on crack, as Toby said this.

_**And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now**_

He climbed on the bike, and she followed suit.

"You do know how to drive this thing right?" Spencer questioned.

Toby laughed at her worries, "yeah, my uncle taught me when I was fifteen. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you, just hold on tight, Okay?"

Wrapping her arms around his waist, Spencer hugged her body close to his, following his orders. The bike roared to life as Toby made his way down the endless driveway. Nervous at first, Spencer held on to him so tight, she briefly wondered if she was hurting him. With the wind brushing against her skin, Spencer started to feel as though it was her and Toby against the world, riding on his bike she had never felt so free. Loosening her grip lightly, she slowly began to relax. Before she knew it, Rosewood had passed them by and they were riding in Philadelphia. Lights radiated in the night sky, as the city came to life. Spencer had been to Philadelphia numerous times, but she had never been in this part of town before. It was a little bit darker and seemed to be a little bit quainter. Small shops and restaurants lined the streets as Toby finally pulled up besides what looked like a tiny Italian restaurant.

Turning off the motorcycle, he hopped off the seat, and helped Spencer off the bike while trying to maintain her dignity –which wasn't easy in a dress. He took her helmet from her and placed in a small compartment on the back of the motorcycle. Toby tugged on Spencer's hand, leading her into the modest building. Spencer was surprised as Toby led her past the hostess stand to a small table in the back with a reserved sign on it. The table was secluded enough that they could be alone, yet close enough to a tiny platform that acted as a stage for singer and guitarist.

Spencer looked around, hypnotized by her surroundings. It was just a tiny little restaurant, yet it seemed like so much more than that. Brick lined each of the walls, the lights were dim allowing candles to illuminate the room. Each table was slightly different, with different set of chairs –as if the furniture was picked at a flea market. It seemed as though everything should be out of place, yet all the elements worked so well together, creating an enchanting atmosphere.

_**Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love**_

Spencer took a seat across from Toby, "This place is beautiful…" she observed.

"My mom used to know the owners, she would take me here all the time when I was little," Toby reminisced.

Reaching across the table, Spencer ran her thumb along the back of his hand in a comforting gesture as a waiter appeared, taking their orders.

"Thank you," Spencer said once they were alone once more.

"For what?" Toby gave her a puzzled look.

"For taking me here," Spencer continued, "I know this place must be special to you."

A sweet melody of music filled the air as the musicians came back from their break. A couple of older couples made their way toward the small space reserved for dancing in the middle of the room. Spencer kept her eyes on one couple in particular. The way the man looked at the women, it was as though he was looking at her for the first time, even though they had probably been married for many years. They smiled happily as they danced, not needing anything but each other.

"Do you want to dance?" Toby asked, breaking Spencer's thoughts.

"Oh no, we don't have to," Spencer assured him. She knew how much he didn't like to dance.

But Toby stood up from the table, he reached for her hand, "I insist," he said, leading her onto the dance floor.

_**Settle down with me  
And I'll be your safety  
You'll be my lady  
I was made to keep your body warm  
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms**_

Spencer was surprised as Toby placed his hands on her hips and easily swayed to the rhythm. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

"I thought you didn't like to dance," Spencer inquired a smile spreading across her face that she couldn't seem to conceal.

"You never asked me to dance to slow songs," he corrected grinning back at her, "this is where my mom taught me how to dance," he explained.

Spencer reached up, leaving a light kiss on his lips. They stayed like that for a while, keeping their eyes locked on each other as the music surrounded them. It had felt like something out of a dream –too good for reality. A couple of songs later, Toby broke the silence.

"Spencer I know that this might scare you, but I have to say it," he started. The way she looked, the taste of her lips, her smile. Toby had been thinking this for a while, and couldn't keep it to himself any longer. He wanted her to know exactly how he felt, the entire depth of it.

Spencer took a deep breath, preparing for the worst.

"I can't stop thinking about you, you consume my every thought. I'm crazy about you. You're probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And every time I see you, it's like you've gotten even more stunning than the last time. Every time we say goodbye, I'm secretly begging to say hello. You're like my home-away from home –my safe place to land."

_**Oh no  
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now**_

Spencer smiled up at him as he spoke the sweet words. Nobody had ever been so kind to her before. This couldn't be real –it was too good to be true. Reaching up, she pulled him in for a tender kiss. Not knowing how to voice her response, Spencer poured all her emotion into the kiss. Memorizing the way his lips felt against hers, like a sweet symphony that played a loving harmony every time they touched.

Realizing they were in public, Toby pulled away, yet held her that much closer to him as they continued to dance.

"I think our food's ready," Toby nodded to a waiter placing plates of parmesan chicken on their table.

"mmmm… just one more song?" Spencer requested, relishing the moment.

Toby kissed the top of her head, "the food's going to get cold," he smiled down at her.

But Spencer just looked up at him with her big brown eyes, pleading. Not wanting to break the moment, Toby looked deep into her eyes, nodding slightly at her request.

Holding her in his arms, nothing felt better. It was as though the world was finally on his side, after all these years of heartbreak for Toby.

As the song came to an end, Toby took Spencer's hand in his and led her away from the dance floor, back to their table. Miraculously, their food was still warm. They ate peacefully, not needing to say anything; jut knowing they had each other's company was enough.

Once they were finished eating, Toby paid the bill and led her back outside toward his bike. They rode around the city, watching as the bright lights passed them by. Spencer held onto Toby tightly, not because she was afraid anymore, but because she liked feeling him close to her. She kissed the back of his neck softly and he couldn't help but smile at her touch. They rode around late into the night. Finally, Toby drove back toward the small town of Rosewood.

As they reached Spencer's house, Toby walked her to her door. About to say goodnight, Toby brought her lips up to meet his. Spencer wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. The kiss was about as sweet as the entire night had been. Just as Toby started to pull away, Spencer held on to him tighter, not ready to let go yet. She pulled him closer to her, kissing him fiercer.

_**Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love**_

"Don't go," she whispered against his lips.

"I thought we were taking things slow, remember?" he reminded her softly.

Spencer moved her lips to his ear, "then let's take things slow," she uttered, her breathe ticking his skin, causing the hair on his neck to stand up. Taking his hand in hers, she led him up the stairs to her room.

Once they were inside, she brought her hand down his shirt, feeling his stomach muscles through the thin material. Slowly, she started to unbutton it, kissing his newly exposed skin. Taking her time, she finally reached the last button and helped him shrug it off. Toby met his lips with hers once more, kissing her softly. Each movement of their lips had an underlying meaning neither was quite ready to say out loud yet. She slowly stepped closer and closer to Toby, leading him toward the bed as they kissed. Bringing his hands to her waist, he brought her nearer as he sat down.

Taking her lips away from his, Spencer turned around. "Unzip me," she murmured, pulling her hair off her neck to reveal a zipper. Toby followed her instructions, leaving a mark with his lips on her neck. Slowly, Spencer shimmied out of the dress, her back still turned away from him as she stepped out of it, leaving her in nothing except her underwear and stilettos.

_**Yeah I've been feeling everything  
From hate to love  
From love to lust  
From lust to truth  
I guess that's how I know you  
So I hold you close to help you give it up**_

Toby drank in her bare skin, practically worshiping her. Stepping out of her shoes, she turned back toward him, straddling him on the bed. She left butterfly kisses against his jaw line, then his neck, moving leisurely, she took her time loving the touch of his skin. Gently, Toby rolled them over, guiding her back so they were against the pillows at the top of the bed and so he was on top. He unhooked her bra and left soft kisses on her chest. Her eyes rolled back and she moaned softly in response. Once she could concentrate again, Spencer brought her hands between them, moving them slowly down to undo his belt and gradually moved his pants down until he finally shook them off. Taking his time, Toby moved his hands down her body, tracing her skin until he reached her hips. Easing her underwear off, he removed the last barrier. He moved inside of her, slowly and rhythmically. Spencer's eyes locked on his, until she cried out his name, throwing her head back in ecstasy. Toby finally collapsed beside her, exhausted from the intensity. He reached underneath Spencer and brought the sheets they had been laying on top of over their bodies. Once under the covers, Spencer pulled to his side, clinging to his side as he wrapped an arm around her tightly, never wanting to let go.

_**So kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love**_

Each time they made love that night, it was with slow and deliberate movements. It was long into the night when they finally fell into each other's arms and drifted to sleep, completely exhausted at last. The night had been nothing like Spencer had expected, yet it was everything she had hoped for.

As the dark night transformed into a peaceful morning, Spencer stirred slightly in Toby's muscular arms. She held him tighter, not ready to face the world yet. Suddenly she heard a soft thud from down stairs. She figured it was just some animal outside and closed her eyes once more, memorizing Toby's scent. It was musky and dark, yet sweet and charming. Spencer took a deep breath, happy at last, when her door creaked open.

"What the hell is this?!" her mom yelled eyeing Toby and Spencer cuddling naked in Spencer's bed.

_**Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love**_

* * *

**So... what did you think? did you love it or is there something that i could have done better? Please give me feedback, especially for this chapter because I was on the fence about posting it so early after I wrote it. To be honest, I'm kind of worried I didn't take enough time on it, but I don't want to dwell on it forever.****  
**

**I guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm nervous for your reaction.**

**So.. what's going to happen with Spencer's parents? Awkwardddd right?**

**thank you for reading!**

**xoxo Katelyn**


	14. Longest Night

**Hey Guys! I'm so so sorry about the delay in publishing this chapter, i was in Nashville for CMA fest for a couple of days and then I graduated (YAY!) so my life has been hectic to say the least. I feel like i haven't been taking as much time with the chapters lately and so i really want to make sure they're as good as they can be. I hope you enjoy this chapter I know it has been much anticipated, it was inspired by the song "Longest Night" by Howie Day. **

* * *

**Chapter 14: Longest Night**

_**Is it dark, where you are?  
Can you count the stars where you are?  
Do you feel like you are a thousand miles from home?**_

As the dark night transformed into a peaceful morning, Spencer stirred slightly in Toby's muscular arms. She held him tighter, not ready to face the world yet. Suddenly she heard a soft thud from down stairs. She figured it was just some animal outside and closed her eyes once more, memorizing Toby's scent. It was musky and dark, yet sweet and charming. Spencer took a deep breath, happy at last, when her door creaked opened.

"What the hell is this?!" her mom yelled eyeing Toby and Spencer cuddling naked in bed.

"Oh my god!" Spencer cried, bringing the blanket up to cover her completely.

It almost looked as though steam was about to shoot out of Mrs. Hastings ears, like an animated cartoon character. She narrowed her eyes on Toby, "You, out in five minutes," she pointed at him, turning around quickly on her heels and disappearing down the long hallway. As soon as she left, Toby jumped up from the bed, throwing on his jeans and quickly buttoning his shirt.

"Have you seen my other shoe?" he asked Spencer looking around her room frantically.

Spencer threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans when she eyed one large black converse in the corner. She picked it up and handed it to him, "I'm so sorry about that," she shook her head, embarrassed, "if I had known they were coming back early, I would have never…."

"Hey, it'll be ok," he assured her, resting his hands on her shoulders, finally facing her since they were interrupted, "but I should probably go before I make things worse."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best" she agreed, she was already mortified about her mother's intrusion, she could only imagine what would happen if Toby stuck around a moment longer. Her mom was clearly furious and Spencer had never done anything so reckless before to disappoint her parents. Jason on the other hand had no problem going against their parents wishes and expectations, she had seen how they had reacted to his little stunts and she was not looking forward to the same treatment.

It was only last summer when Jason had gotten so drunk at her parents anniversary party they held every year, he could barely walk. As he slurred his words, Spencer's distant relatives gossiped in the corner, speculating he had some strange disease. But Spencer could only laugh at their reaction, it was ridiculous how oblivious they were as if it was in the Hastings genes to avoid the truth. When she asked him later why he felt the need to medicate himself with bourbon, he simply told her he was sick of their parents pretending everything was perfect all the time and how they put on a show for the public, so he decided to put on his own show this time. Their parents practically disowned him that night they were so furious. He hadn't been home since.

"Whatever happens," Spencer continued, "Last night was worth it," she smiled up at him leaving a kiss on his cheek. She meant what she said, that night had been so unexpected and so thrilling. She got butterflies in her stomach just thinking about it.

Spencer walked Toby down the stairs and quickly toward the front door, rushing to avoid her parents. She watched as he drove away on his motorcycle down the lengthy driveway until he was out of site completely. Scared to face the wrath of the Hastings, she took a deep breath, preparing herself mentally before heading toward the kitchen where they were waiting.

_**Are you lost, where you are?  
Can you find your way when you're so far?  
Do you fear, where you are?  
A thousand nights alone**_

Her dad was reading the paper, drinking a cup of coffee, while her mom had looked much calmer than she did only a few minutes earlier. Spencer was not expecting her parents to seem so composed about the whole situation. She anticipated pacing and shouting, not two people having breakfast on a Saturday morning.

"Have a seat," her mom instructed.

Spencer followed orders, taking a seat across from them. Her dad put the paper down, in an attempt to give her his full attention.

"You should know that you're lucky Andrew's parents didn't drop us from the case after the little stunt you pulled –how things ended with him," Mrs. Hastings started, "I hope you know it took a lot of convincing and a lot of hard work."

"I'm sorry, but…" Spencer started but was cut off by her dad.

"Spencer, let your mother talk," he ordered sharply.

Her head sunk as she nodded in a silent reply. She felt as though she was a puppy being scolded for chewing a pair of shoes, with her tail tucked in and guilty rounded eyes.

"We know that you've been skipping school. Mrs. Montgomery called me, worried about your new… habits…she said that you've been spending a lot of time with this Toby Cavanaugh boy. Was that who spent the night?" she questioned rather calmly.

"Yes," Spencer nodded, embarrassed.

"You haven't been acting yourself lately, we're worried about you. First you cut class, now this. You're never going to get into an ivy league if you stay on this track."

But for some reason, Spencer wasn't sure if she could believe this that her parents were really concerned for her. Her father was only half-listening to the conversation, still trying to be discreet as he skimmed the newspaper and sipped his coffee. "We think he's a bad influence on you," her mother continued, "You've never cut class before, you barely even miss school unless it's doctor's orders. Did you know Andrew never has skipped school before?"

Spencer let out a muffled sigh at this remark. Andrew was a jackass. Simple as that, sure he had never skipped school, but he had done plenty of other things that Spencer was sure her parents' wouldn't approve of if they knew.

_**So here we are set into motion  
We'll steal a car and crash in the ocean  
You and I, caught in a fading light  
On the longest night**_

"Did you know that he's going to Harvard?" Spencer's mom said.

"How does he know already?" Spencer puzzled.

Even with his parents influence, the Harvard waiting-list for early admission is a mile long. There's no way Andrew could know that he's in already, it took usually until late spring to hear back from them.

"His parents talked to the dean, they gave a very generous donation for a new addition to a library and set up an appointment for Andrew to talk to the head of admissions on their last trip to Massachusetts. You should be so lucky just to be associated with him, maybe then you'd have a_ chance_ in getting in," her mother mused.

But the thing was, Spencer didn't care. Sure it made her mad that Andrew had gotten in based on his parents, not on his merits, but she didn't want Harvard. That was what her parents wanted, Spencer wanted something all her own.

"Maybe if you had internships like Andrew did this summer you could have gotten in already too. Instead you wasted your summer with that _boy_," Mrs. Hastings spat, "Andrew was so good for you. He never slept over and was always so respectful. You were so driven when you with him, now it's like you've given up on your dreams. _That boy_ has brought out a side of you that we're not sure we like. You're being rebellious and careless_._" She made Toby seem like she was talking about the devil.

_**It's enough, just to find love  
It's the only thing to be sure of, so hard, to let go of  
A thousand times or more I was close to a fault line  
Heaven knows, you showed up in time  
Was it real?  
Now I feel, like I'm never coming down**_

Finally, Spencer had enough. "How can you say that?" she whispered at last.

"Excuse me, I wasn't finished," her mother stated, ready to continue her rant.

"…but you're wrong," Spencer said timidly, "Andrew may have already gotten into Harvard, but Toby is so much more than that. He's the kindest person I know, he makes me feel important," her voice was growing less and less muffled as she built up steam. "Toby is so many things that Andrew will never be. Maybe I should start with how things ended, Andrew cheated on me and then called me a whore when I was nothing but loyal to him. You think you know him but you don't! You only know what his parents want you to know. Oh and it was my idea to skip school, not Toby's. So if you're going to fault anyone for the way I've been 'acting out' lately it should be me. Don't blame him when he did nothing wrong except make me feel better when Andrew made me feel helpless and pathetic!"

She took one look at her parents, and after all they had said and the years that they had spent telling her what to do and how to do it, Spencer realized for the first time that it never matter what she wanted. They only cared about what they wanted for her.

"You probably don't even care about what I want though," she continued, "If it's not in _the plan_ it doesn't matter, does it. I don't get a say in anything that I do or say or my future!" Spencer was full on screaming now, "Why can't I have what _I_ want?"

It was like these feeling had been building up for as long as Spencer could remember and finally she had cracked. She knocked down the wall her parents had built around her, or so she thought.

"Spencer, don't talk to your mother like that," Mr. Hastings looked up from the paper to scold her.

"Why not? Because it's the truth," Spencer laughed darkly, not because it was funny but because she was exasperated and exhausted.

But Mrs. Hastings didn't seem fazed by Spencer's outburst. Being used to high-pressure situations as a lawyer, she had her best poker face on as she took a sip of the rich liquid in her mug.

"We don't think you should see him anymore. He's not good for you Spencer," she stated assertively.

_**I recall when we were together  
Even now it seems like forever  
So alive caught in a fading light  
On the longest night**_

It had felt like Spencer's stomach had dropped completely. Her entire body felt numb as her mother spoke these words. How was she supposed to stay away from Toby? It had taken her so long to face her fears and to give herself completely to him and now it was all being taken away from her in the blink of an eye. She couldn't lose him, not now. She needed him like she needed air to breathe. He was her best friend, the only one who truly knew everything about her. He never judged her, and let her open up for the first time. How could this happen? Not now... Not yet...

Tears started to stream down her face uncontrollably as her throat burned with every word she spoke. "How can you say that?! You don't even know him!" she stood up, screaming at her parents.

"Spencer!" Mr. Hastings warned.

"No, you don't get it. You may be able to determine my future, but you don't get to decide this for me," Spencer shook her head, determined to make her point.

"We don't need to know him. He drives a motorcycle Spencer," Mrs. Hastings suggested as if that defined him.

"So what," Spencer countered, "He's a good driver and would never do anything to hurt me, unlike Andrew who only cared about himself. Toby is the most selfless person I know!"

"Spencer, you're not seeing him anymore, end of conversation," her mother dismissed, getting up and putting her now empty coffee cup in the sink.

"It's not going to happen," Spencer refused, shocking herself a little. It was the first time she had ever stood up to her parents. Ever. "We're dating, and he's so good for me! You don't get it. I really care about him and he does for me too, you can't just take him away from me!"

"Spencer, if you're not going to end it then I will," her mother threatened, "Your grounded until you can learn to make good judgment about people. Don't even think about leaving this house, and don't forget that we have plenty of friends who are more than willing to keep an eye on you...when you're home, at school, with your friends...so don't think about seeing him -ever again," she narrowed her eyes on Spencer, threatening her.

_**Can we go too far to find, what is waiting here?  
A little fall from grace  
On the longest night  
Did we go too far to find, what is waiting here?  
We'll take a little time, to open again**_

"No!" Spencer cried. How could they do this to her? Just a second ago she was holding him in her arms and now it had all just slipped away. He was like a memory she was being forced to bury away and burn into ashes, as if it hadn't existed anymore.

She ran out of the kitchen, grabbing her car keys on the table in the hall, and out the door to her car. She started it and drove as fast as she could, tears still spilling down her face, blurring her vision slightly as she found her way toward the one person she could call home.

_**Is it dark where you are?  
Can you count the stars where you are?**_

* * *

**So... what did you think? Were her parents a little too harsh? How are her parents going to react when she comes home? I wanna hear about your reactions and predictions! **

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews on the last chapter! I love hearing about your reactions and some of them make me want to cry because they are so kind!**

**Pssst... Who's excited for tomorrow? I'm so excited because apparently Toby is going to be leaning on Spencer when he founds out more about his past... thank god Spoby is back and stronger than ever! **

**xoxo Katelyn**


	15. The Mess I Made

**Hi guys! How good was the season premiere on tuesday? I just about died when Toby called himself Spencer's boyfriend again...anyway I have a whole rant about it on my tumblr if your interested. This chapter was inspired by the song "The Mess I Made" by Parachute.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Mess I Made**

_**Should've kissed you there , I should've held your face  
I should've watched those eyes instead of run in place  
I should've called you out, I should've said your name  
I should've turned around, I should've looked again…**_

Tears poured down Spencer's face as she sobbed, hunched over the steering wheel in her car. She sat there a moment, trying to compose herself before deciding her next move. But all she could think of was how badly she needed him. Now that he was in her life, he was there forever. She couldn't lose what she had with him –as her boyfriend or best friend. They may have only really known each other for a few months, but those months were irreplaceable and left a permanent dent in Spencer's life.

She looked around at her surroundings. She was sitting outside the Cavanaugh's humble house, his motorcycle clearly visible in the garage and his truck was parked on the side of the road in front of her car. It was stupid of her to come here, she knew that. If her parents had found out she had disobeyed them only moments after they had forbidden her to see him, there would be hell to pay. She didn't want to drag Toby further into her problems but she had to see him. She craved his touch to comfort her and tell her it would all be ok.

She contemplated turning around and leaving when there was a quiet knock on her window. She looked up through her tears to see a kind-hearted boy with worried blue-eyes staring down at her. He opened her door and automatically pulled her into his arms as he saw her tear-stained cheeks, hugging her tightly as she sobbed against his chest. They stood there in the street in silence while she cried until her ocean of tears was empty. Every once in a while someone would pass by, walking their dog or driving down the street, and stare at them. But Toby and Spencer ignored them, oblivious to any world expect their own.

As Spencer's heaves turned calmer, Toby pulled back slightly trying to look down at her and figure out what had escalated between her and her parents. But Spencer held on to him tighter, clinging to him, not ready to let go.

"Spencer, what happened?" Toby asked at last, worry masking his voice.

She breathed heavily into him before she could explain, "They won't listen to me….I tried so hard, but they don't care…" fresh tears were now rolling down her face as she attempted to talk through the lump in her throat.

"They won't let me see you…"she said at last.

Toby gulped in response. His throat felt as though it was closing in, "…did they say why…?" he whispered, trying to sound calm.

"…they said you were a bad influence on me. But it's not true! I told them it wasn't but they won't listen to me! You're nothing but good for me, I don't want to let you go…." Spencer choked on her words.

Toby knew things would be bad as soon as he saw the look on Mrs. Hastings face, but he wasn't expecting that. Spencer worked so hard to make her parents proud of her. Now she was practically being forced to choose between the life she had always planned for and Toby. He couldn't make her choose, it wasn't fair to her

_**But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away**_

He brushed away a few tears with his thumb as he forced her to look up at him. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he assured her even though he was uncertain of this himself.

She knew he was probably the last person she should be talking to about this, but he was the one she needed the most. "I don't want to give in to their stupid demands…but I don't know what to do…" she mumbled.

_**Should've held my ground, I could've been redeemed  
For every second chance that changed its mind on me  
I should've spoken up, I should've proudly claimed  
That oh my head's to blame for all my heart's mistakes**_

"Hey, listen to me," he started calmly, looking deep into her mocha eyes, "you don't have to choose… I won't let you…. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met –inside and out, and it kills me to say this, but I don't think I could live with myself if I made things harder for you…. Maybe it would be for the best if we were just friends for now? When they can accept our relationship, then we'll be together," he promised brushing a tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

"You don't know what you're saying," Spencer shook her head, "they're set in their ways. You can't get them to change their mind, it's not possible. I've seen Jason try so many times and it just doesn't work."

"This isn't forever, it's just for now… We'll change their mind, we can figure it out," Toby insisted.

Toby had never felt something so real before, his feelings for Spencer were so deep they cut through him. He had never experienced anything like it before –not with Mona, or with any of the other girls he dated. It scared the shit out of him half the time, but something always pulled him to her, like gravity.

Spencer pressed herself closer to him, knowing that a goodbye she was not prepared for was coming. In a weird way she was thankful to Toby, he said what she wasn't strong enough to admit. She knew that they couldn't be together, not now anyways no matter how much they both wanted it.

As she buried her head in his chest, she memorized the smell of his scent. He lifted her chin up with his hand, needing the sensation of her lips against his one last time. He poured all the things he couldn't say into the kiss. She kissed him back with equal intensity, yet it was as gentle and kind as Toby himself.

_**But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away**_

Pulling away slightly, Toby brushed his nose against hers, both of their eyes still closed as they took in the moment. "I've never felt this way about anyone before Spencer," his breathe tickled her skin as he whispered.

"I know what you mean," she replied solemnly.

He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering there before letting go completely.

"You should probably go…"he said, leading her back to her car, "I don't want them to get any madder than they already are..."

Spencer nodded in agreement, as much as she didn't want to think about it, she knew that every minute she spent away from the house, the angrier her parents will be. She hugged him one last time before taking a seat in the driver's side.

"It's not forever," he assured her one last time before closing her door. He waited until her car was long gone, down the street and to the other side of town. He stood there for a long time, his legs not able to move. It was as though if he moved and went back to his normal life, then it would all be real.

"Toby, where the fuck have you been?!" a male voice screamed from inside the house.

Toby took in one more deep breath before turning around and facing his own demons.

_**And it's you, and it's you  
And it's you, and it's you  
And it's falling down, as you walk away  
And it's on me now, as you go**_

Spencer pulled away slowly from the Cavanaugh's. Her normal frantic speedy driving was now careful and cautious, not wanting to leave Toby behind as she drove back toward her own home. As soon as she pulled up to her drive way she ran inside, hurrying to avoid her parents as she locked her door to her room and collapsed on her bed.

She buried her face in her pillow, devastated to say the least. How had things escalated so quickly out of control? Less than twenty-four hours ago she was in complete bliss, now she was in hell. She hated how much control her parents had over her life, especially when it seemed like they were hardly there. She was lucky if she could see them for dinner twice a week, yet they have the power to control her entire future? No wonder why they were so clueless as to who Toby really was, not who they thought him to be.

_**But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away**_

She laid there on her bed for the rest of the day, trying to forget every minute of that day. Yet the more she tried to forget the more it haunted her. She felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her and she was trying with all her might to regain her breathe. As the sun began to sink in the October sky, bringing on night fall once more, her phone started buzzing on her end table.

Spencer ignored it, not wanting to talk to anyone at that moment. But then it buzzed again. And again. Eventually she had enough and with what felt like all her strength she reached across her bed for her phone.

"Hello?" she answered meekly not caring enough to look at the caller ID.

"Hey Spencer, Caleb told me what happened with you and Toby," Hanna began, "how are you?"

Of course, the entire world knew about their breakup before they had even known about their relationship. Rosewood was too small of a town Spencer decided.

"Is that a real question?" she laughed darkly, "My parents think that they have some sort of right to control my entire life, yet want nothing to do with it."

"I know, it sucks….Maybe we should come over…" Hanna mused, figuring it might take more than a phone call to life Spencer's spirit.

"What do you mean 'we'?"

"We could have a sleep-over just like in middle school! You, me, Aria, and Emily…."

But Spencer was silent on the other line, not really in the mood for company.

"C'mon Spence…..okay, you don't even have a say in the matter then. We're coming over and eating ridiculous amounts of rocky-road and watching _The Notebook_, we'll be there in an hour," Hanna told her.

"What about my parents… I don't think they'll like this idea, not now anyways, I'm supposed to be grounded."

"Let me talk to them, it'll be fine I promise!" Hanna hung up quickly before Spencer could protest anymore.

Spencer wasn't sure how it was possible, but when Hanna and the rest of girls had arrived, she had somehow convinced Mr. and Mrs. Hastings that Spencer needed her friends and they let them spend the night without further question. Hanna had always had a way with dealing with Spencer's parents though that Spencer just couldn't quite understand. It was like she spoke their secret language. Spencer often wondered whether her parents liked Hanna better than their own children –they acted like it at least. They had been friends since third grade and she always got her own extravagant Christmas present from them –last year it was a Tiffany's necklace while Spencer had gotten books upon books on how to study for the SATs.

A few hours later sleeping bags covered Spencer's floor as the girls stuffed popcorn into their mouths. They had just finished watching "The Notebook" and were ready to move on to "A Walk to Remember." Spencer was starting to feel slightly better, or at least that's what she told them whenever they asked –which was almost too often. She was heartbroken, not dying, the pitiful stares and concerned looks every twenty-seconds was highly unnecessary. People went through break ups all the time, in fact Spencer had just been through a tough one with Andrew a few weeks ago, yet somehow this one felt different.

While Spencer was grateful for her friends, she still wished for the one person who could wrap his arms around her and make the world seem right. It all didn't seem real –the magic of last night and then the heartbreak of this morning –it was like it was all some sort of dream. But the fact that it was all real, well that felt as though she was being stabbed with a knife in her gut every time those baby blue eyes appeared in her thoughts.

_**And it's falling down, as you walk away  
And it's on me now, as you go…**_

Hanna on the other hand was confident that while Spencer was hurting now, she would be feeling better in no time. She felt so bad for her best friend, Spencer's parents had so much say in her life and yet they barely knew her. All Hanna wanted to do was make Spencer's pain disappear, and she was doing a pretty decent job at it. She had even gotten Spencer to laugh at a bad joke she had made about Ryan Gosling's butt. Maybe Spencer wouldn't get over whatever she had with Toby so quickly, but at least she would be able to smile again soon.

Or so Hanna thought… That night as the last of the Nicholas Spark movies were winding down, and the girls' eyes started to feel heavy, Hanna thought she heard a muffled cry coming from beside her. Sure enough Spencer was sobbing into her pillow when she thought that no one was looking. Automatically, Hanna patted Spencer's back, making comforting circles. Spencer rolled over allowing Hanna to hold her in her arms, letting her cry her hurt out. She hated seeing Spencer this way, and just when she was doing so good… At that moment Hanna was determined to help her. Maybe a slumber party with her best friends wasn't enough. Maybe what Spencer and Toby had was real and was worth the battle. Maybe they both just needed a little push, it wouldn't be easy, but if it was that deep and real, then maybe, just maybe it would be worth it.

_**But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
I 'm staring at the mess I made  
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away**_

* * *

**please please don't hate me. But if you do, please feel free to rant about it in the reviews. I'm planning on posting the next chapter ASAP so hopefully you'll like me a little better then? I'm sorry it did take me so long to post this chapter, I was waiting until I was almost done with the next one so I could post them without a whole lot of lag time in between hoping you guys might not hate me so much. **

**But anyways, regardless what emotion your feeling, please please send me your reviews I love to hear from you guys!**

**xoxo Katelyn**


	16. Daylight

**Hey guys, so I'm sorry I couldn't put this up earlier, but I've been working like crazy these past couple of days. Anyways, this chapter is longer, like by a lot, so I hope that makes up for it. This chapter was inspired by the song "Daylight" by Maroon 5. ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Daylight**

_**Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon  
Why am I holding on?  
We knew this day would come, we knew it all along  
How did it come so fast?**_

Avoiding him wasn't going to make it any easier. At least that's what Spencer told herself repeatedly that week. Over and over again those words ran through her brain, yet she still had a hard time believing it. She took a deep breath, preparing herself mentally as she turned the corner into the school's cafeteria.

It wasn't fair to him, she had to face him she told herself as she took a seat next to Hanna. But even as he came toward their table, shoulders hunched over, eyes at his feet, Spencer couldn't help but look away. It was as though avoiding him was her instinct –like if she didn't look at him, it would hurt less. Spencer knew this wasn't true and hated that she felt like she had to do this, but what was she supposed to do? Pretend everything was happy-go-lucky. That would be even worse. They tried talking at first, being normal friends, but they had a hard time holding a normal conversation. It was just too awkward…too weird. As the week dragged on, it seemed like they were speaking less and less. Now that it was Friday, they had barely even made eye contact.

She picked at her sandwich, taking small bites, not really hungry. All she wanted was to go back to bed and forget the world, but she couldn't do that with a huge lab in her AP Biology class that day. She had to stay in this hell-hole so she could observe fruit flies mate. Yay. Believe it or not, it was worth thirty percent of her grade.

"Spence, did you hear me?" Aria asked.

But it was as though Spencer was lost in her own little world, still picking at her sandwich.

"Hello? Earth to Spencer…" Aria snapped her fingers in Spencer's face, in an attempt to get her attention.

"What?" Spencer finally looked at her.

"I asked if you talked to Jason lately? He told me he was coming home for homecoming and was going to the dance with me. I just wondered if you knew that…"

"Oh. No, I haven't spoken to him in a while…he's finally coming home, huh?" After what had escalated between her parents and her brother, Spencer was shocked that he was coming home at last. She didn't even think she would get to see him at Thanksgiving next month let alone in a few weeks. She missed him so much, he was one person who was always there to stick up for her when Melissa and their parents would pressure her.

"Yeah, I finally convinced him…He's staying at my house though, since he wants to avoid your parents as much as possible…" Aria continued.

"I don't blame him…" Spencer mused, wishing herself that she could escape from them too.

Suddenly, the bell rang. And just like that lunch had ended just as soon as it began. Spencer looked down at her half eaten sandwich, deciding to just throw it out with the rest of her lunch. She wasn't hungry anyways.

_**This is our last night but it's late  
And I'm trying not to sleep  
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away**_

Hanna eyed her friend, she had been down all week. It wasn't just Toby she was avoiding, it was almost everybody. She barely spoke more than three sentences at a time, like she didn't want to have a conversation with anyone. Hanna couldn't believe how easy it was for Spencer's parents to dictate her life. She looked over at Toby, collecting his lunch tray with half eaten apple and pizza on it. God it was like they were twins or something…. It would be different if they were fighting, but they weren't even doing that. It was just Spencer's stupid parents. Hanna knew she shouldn't meddle, but she hated seeing her friends so hurt over something so idiotic, so she followed Toby down the long hallway to his locker where he proceeded to replace a binder in his backpack with a rather large textbook.

"Hey, Toby…." She started.

"Oh, hi…" Toby seemed surprised that Hanna was talking to him. They were friends and all, but he never really talked to her without Caleb there. The only reason why they ever talked in the first place was because Toby was such good friends with Caleb.

"Listen, I know I may be overstepping some boundaries, but as your friend and Spencer's best friend I can't just do _nothing_," Hanna began, noticing Toby wincing slightly at Spencer's name. "I know her parents can be scary –trust me, I've known her since third grade and they scared the shit out of me when I was eight –but you two shouldn't let that stop you. You shouldn't let her parents dictate your relationship, lord knows they control too much of her life already. She's miserable without you, I can see it and I think you're pretty heartbroken about missing her too..."

Toby was shocked slightly at what Hanna had to say. No doubt in his mind he had underestimated her, she saw so much Toby tried so hard to hide. "…I know…" Toby said at last, shaking his head solemnly, "…but what am I supposed to do? They think they know me, but I haven't even had a conversation with them."

"Yeah, they can be like that. They're like that with everyone though, you just have to give them some time to warm up to you, that's all. Prove them they're wrong. ," Hanna explained.

"How do I even know this is what Spence wants though? She won't speak to me…" Toby ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh c'mon. Do you _really_ believe that after all that happened with you two, she doesn't want to be with you? Just pick her up at my house tonight at nine, ok? You can find out for yourself…" Hanna told him, running off toward her next class as the warning bell chimed.

Toby ran a hand through his hair again –something he did when he was nervous, as he closed his locker and started making his way down the hall. He knew it was risky, but he had to see her he decided, at least one more time.

_**And when the daylight comes I'll have to go  
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close  
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own  
But tonight I need to hold you so close**_

"Hanna, please explain to me again why I have to spend the night?" Spencer asked obviously aggravated. She was grateful for having a friend who was concerned about her, but she was a big girl and was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

"I told you, as your best friend I refuse to let you spend another night alone in your room eating an entire box of pizza by yourself… the least you could do is give me a slice," Hanna stated, carrying Spencer's bag into her room.

"I told you I'm fine," Spencer lied, following Hanna.

At seven o'clock Spencer had received a text asking her what she was doing. She lied of course saying she was busy with college applications –which in truth she had finished an hour earlier –but Hanna saw right through her and told her she was coming over to pick her up so she could spend the night at her house. Spencer wasn't totally on board with the whole idea, she loved her best friend, but just wanted to be alone. Besides, her parents weren't making things any easier on her –even if it had been nearly a week. Whenever she went out, they always called to make sure she wasn't lying and wasn't with Toby. It broke her heart the way they talked about him, but what was she supposed to do? She was stuck, simple as that.

"No you're not," Hanna declared, opening her bedroom door and setting Spencer's stuff down on her bed.

Hanna distracted Spencer the best she could for the next couple of hours. But as the seconds passed it was harder to keep Spencer entertained. She just wasn't up for doing much besides watching T.V., which it seemed like she wasn't even paying much attention to anyways. She repeatedly tried to convince Hanna to let her change into her comfy sweats and got annoyed when Hanna refused for no reason. "It's still so early," Hanna would try to explain, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, Hanna was on edge, praying for the phone to ring. She knew that Spencer's parents were double-checking everywhere she went to make sure she wasn't lying. That was the whole reason she needed Spencer there with her and why she didn't just drop her off with Toby two hours ago. It was dawning on 8:30 when things finally started to go right. At last Spencer agreed to let Hanna paint her nails when the phone rang. Hanna practically leaped out of her seat on the bed and ran to answer it, nearly knocking over an entire bottle of red nail polish.

"What's with the enthusiasm? It's a phone call, most likely from my parents…"Spencer said.

But Hanna ignored her, "Hello?" she answered into the phone eagerly. She nodded to herself a few times as she listened to the person on the other line. After a few moments she handed the phone to Spencer.

"Hi…" Spencer already knew who it was though and didn't feel like talking to them much.

"Spencer, good your there," her mother stated on the other end.

"Where else would I be?" she scoffed.

"Spencer, stop that. This is for your own good you know."

"No, I don't know that. I'll see you in the morning," Spencer hung up abruptly, not wanting to hear another word.

"I can't believe them…"Spencer said, mostly to herself.

"I know it's tough…but they'll come around and it'll get better," Hanna reassured her.

"You don't know that…"Spencer argued, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Actually…I do…"Hanna said with a knowing smile.

Spencer gave her a questioning stare. Hanna had that look on her face that meant she was meddling. It always made Spencer nervous when Hanna got these ideas in her head that she could fix things that she wasn't even involved in, but before Spencer could question her further a loud honk came from a car outside.

"…what did you do…?" Spencer asked, moving toward Hanna's window to see what the commotion was about outside. Just then she saw something she was sure she must be imagining. Toby was in Hanna's driveway, leaning against the hood of his rusty old truck. Spencer turned to her best friend, speechless.

"Your chariot awaits…" Hanna said pleased that her plan was working so far. Spencer took a second to hug her best friend, "thank you for meddling, -even though you know I hate it," she said before she raced out the door toward her prince charming.

Once outside, she ran to Toby, practically crashing into him and almost knocking him over as he pulled her into his arms expectantly.

_**Here I am staring at your perfection  
In my arms, so beautiful  
The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out  
Somebody slow it down**_

"Wow, if I would have known you would have acted like this when you miss me I would have waited another week, maybe then you would have jumped me right on the spot," Toby teased, "although you almost did that pretty much," he nodded at her body pressed tightly against his, her arms already draped around his neck.

"Oh, shut up and kiss me," Spencer rolled her eyes.

Following her orders, Toby brought his lips down to meet hers, kissing her happily. Damn, he forgot how good it felt to have her lips against his, like a spark of electricity ran through his entire body. Her excited energy was contagious as she kissed him and suddenly Toby felt quite giddy himself.

_**This is way too hard, cause I know  
When the sun comes up, I will leave  
This is my last glance that will soon be memory**_

Pulling away slightly, Spencer traced his lips lightly with her fingers, "where are we going?" she asked softly.

"Shhh…it's a secret," Toby said, kissing her fingers against his lips.

"It's the hill, isn't it?" Spencer guessed a glimmer in her eye.

"Do you really have to ruin every surprise?" Toby asked her only half-jokingly.

"What? We _always_ go to the hill!" Spencer declared, giggling at Toby's annoyance. She forget how cute he looked when he was irritated that she had spoiled one of his surprises, which in her defense, were not all that hard to figure out. During the summer he usually picked her up and refused to tell her where they were going, like it was their own secret adventure, but she almost always could figure out where they were going –or make him slip up and tell her.

"Just get in and you'll see…" Toby said impatiently as he opened the passenger door for her before walking around and climbing into the truck himself. Once inside, Spencer wrapped her arm around his, and Toby couldn't help but smile at her as he pulled out of the Marin's driveway.

_**And when the daylight comes I'll have to go  
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close, cause in the daylight we'll be on our own  
But tonight I need to hold you so close**_

"I knew it!" Spencer cried as Toby began driving up the steep road she knew so well.

He shook his head at her, "This is our place, where else are we supposed to go?"

"… I like that…_our_ place…" Spencer mused.

Everything that night had happened so fast, she almost forgot that she and Toby were supposed to only be friends. She didn't care though what that would mean tomorrow, for now she just wanted one last night with him. Without even realizing it, she held onto him that much closer.

As Toby put the truck in park, Spencer looked around. What was once just a grassy hill was transformed into a gleaming campsite. A tiny tent that looked just big enough for two was set up in the middle, a roaring fire just a few feet in front of it.

"We're camping?" Spencer observed. She'd never been before –her families' idea of roughing it was a three-star hotel _without _an omelet bar included in the continental breakfast -needless to say, she was a little nervous about the idea.

"What? We've spent the night out here before…" Toby reminded her, nudging her gently before stepping out of the truck. Spencer blushed at his remark, remembering their first night together only a few weeks ago as she followed him toward the fire.

"It's just a little colder now than it was a few weeks ago –especially at night. I just thought a tent would be more practical…" Toby stated shyly, starring down at the fire glowing before him as he talked.

"Oh, more practical for what exactly?" Spencer eyed him.

It hadn't occurred to him that Spencer wouldn't want to spend the night together like he imagined. He blushed looking down at his feet, embarrassed at his assumption, "you know…sleeping…"he said at last.

Spencer took a few steps toward him. She could feel the heat of the flames to her right from the fire and saw the flames in Toby's cheeks burn just as bright in front of her.

"Oh really? Is there one sleeping bag or two?" She asked.

"I just packed one.. but it's fine, I can sleep on the ground, I have the blanket in my truck still…" Toby responded quickly, not quite catching on yet that she was teasing him.

Spencer continued to move closer to him, step by step. "No, that's okay, you take the sleeping bag," she shrugged. Moving closer, her chest was nearly against his as she brought her lips up to his ear, "…I don't plan on doing much sleeping…" she whispered huskily before taking a step back and retreating. She moved toward the tent, giving him one more look of desire before disappearing inside.

Toby watched as she vanished inside, entranced by her demeanor, before following after her.

_**I never want it to stop because I don't wanna start all over  
Start all over  
I was afraid of the dark but now it's all that I want  
All that I want, all that I want**_

Once inside, Spencer was waiting for him expectantly by the entrance, as soon as he appeared she kissed him feverishly taking him by surprise. He wasn't even half-way through the small entrance when her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, making their way up to tangle in his hair. He grabbed on to her waist, and led her toward the sole sleeping back, laying her down. His hands traced her shirt as he quickly pulled it over her head, only breaking their kiss for a second. He knew that they only had one night, and he wanted to spend as much time as possible memorizing the taste of her lips.

She ran her hands underneath his shirt, following his back muscles as she guided his shirt higher and higher before lifting it over his head as well. His tongue explored inside her mouth, kissing her fiercer than he ever had before. As Spencer bit down on his tongue, a low growl escaped from Toby's throat. He brought his hands down to trail the curves of her body, going further and further down until he reached her hips. With his lips still pressed tightly against hers, he blindly searched to undo her jeans, fumbling slightly, before removing them altogether. She kicked them off fervently, wrapping her legs around his waist. With slow, deliberate movements, he rocked against her, creating friction between her bare skin and the denim material of his jeans. Spencer moaned loudly into his mouth, shocking herself a little at the sound. But this only made Toby more eager as his movements now became faster. Wanting nothing more than to be closer to him, Spencer pressed her hands between their bodies, searching for the button on his jeans while her body was going crazy. After a few moments of not being able to find it, Toby stopped moving against her, bringing his hands down on top of hers, helped her undo his pants and push them down as she unwrapped her legs from his waist. He removed their last barriers and moved inside of her hungrily, his lips still against hers as he rocked back and forth once more. He finally dragged his lips away from hers once they were both completely out of breath as he fell down beside her.

He pulled her to his side, holding her close to him as he kissed the top of her head. She nuzzled against his bare chest as they both took a moment to catch their breaths. "I told you we only needed one sleeping bag…"he said after some time.

"So this is camping huh?" Spencer mused, sighing happily, "I've never been before..."

"…So what's the verdict?" Toby asked.

"Hmmm…it's not that bad…"she started, a sparkle in her eye.

"…Not that bad? Really? After all that?" Toby looked down at her confused.

"…I think I might need some more convincing…"she said, the sparkle now transformed into a mischievous glimmer in her deep mochas as she brought her lips to his neck.

"Oh, I'll convince you…trust me…" Toby rolled on top of her once more , "...I have all night," he growled against her skin.

_**And when the daylight comes I'll have to go but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close  
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own  
But tonight I need to hold you so close**_

Spencer had gotten less sleep that night than she ever had before. Toby wasn't kidding when he said he was going to spend the entire night convincing her the advantages to camping.

"So…what about now? Have I made an outdoor girl out of you yet?" Toby asked quietly. He was laying on his side, one arm wrapped around her as the other was busy tracing lines on her stomach absent-mindedly.

"…I don't know about that…but camping with you isn't all that bad…"she said turning her head to kiss shoulder.

"Really? 'not all that bad' is what I get? Even now?"

"Okay, okay. I love camping with you…feel free to kidnap me again anytime," Spencer admitted.

"Anytime? Really… so let's say tomorrow?" he kissed her jaw line, "and the next day?" he brought his lips to her cheek "and the next…" his lips finally found their way to her mouth once more which were now red and swollen after the heated night.

But suddenly Spencer froze, realizing what he had just said, even though he may not have. "Toby…I'm not sure if that would be the best idea…" she began, turning her face away, not wanting to see the look in his eyes.

"Spencer, look at me," he gently turned her cheek to face at him once more, sensing a shift in her, "I don't want to be without you… What we have one night together and that's it?"

"Well, what are we supposed to do, Toby? ...maybe this was all a mistake… we already said we wouldn't see each other…at least not this way…"

"No, it's not. I know your parents said we couldn't see each other, and I know we agreed to just be friends, but look where that got us. We barely talked and when we did it was heartbreakingly awkward. I don't want that for us, and I know you don't either…" Toby said defensively.

"What are you saying Toby?" Spencer asked at last, too tired to figure out what Toby want.

"Let's see each other… we'll just keep it from your parents," he suggested.

"I don't think you understand…they're crazy. They'll go to great lengths to get what they want," Spencer shook her head.

"Well..we've gotten this far," Toby gestured to the tent around them. Spencer considered this for a moment, they had gotten at least one night together…how much harder would it be to have another? But the thing was, it was her parents. Not just anybody.

Spencer pushed him down lightly, lying on top of him hoping to get his full attention as she explained, "You have to understand, no one can know. Nobody. Not Emily or Aria or Caleb. Only you, me and Hanna –because she already knows. We can't talk to each other at school or go to each other's houses. You can't text me or call my cell phone. I want this too, and I don't want to not see you, but you have to understand how difficult it's going to be."

"Hey, we'll figure it out… and If you end up lying on top of me like this again, then it'll all be worth it," he assured her with a grin.

"Toby, I'm serious."

"I know, I am too," he said bringing her lips down to his to kiss for the thousandth time that night. Something shifted between them then. They had all these elements trying to keep them apart since before they had even been together –their different lifestyles, Mona and Andrew, and now her parents –but for the first time they were fighting them, creating a new force all their own.

_**And when the daylight comes I'll have to go  
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close  
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own  
But tonight I need to hold you so close**_

* * *

**So... what did you think? Was it what you were expecting? How will Spencer and Toby face her parents? What's going on with Toby's family? ****  
**

**I wanna know what you guys think! I love hearing your predictions and such :) **

**Thank you so much for your reviews, they mean the world to me! Love this story or hate it, let me know so I can improve :)**


	17. Fall Away

**Hey guys, I'm am so so so so so sorry about my lack of updating. Things have been completely hectic recently, i've been working like none other and my grad party was last week so i literally had no time to write and very little inspiration. But it's PLL day..or was a couple of hours ago...so I finally was able to crank out a new chapter. I'm sorry it's kind of short, but I hopefully will have another much longer one up very soon. So please feel free to yell at me for my lack of updating in the reviews, or just tell me what you think. This chapter was inspired by the song "Fall Away" by the Fray. ENJOY and please feel free to tell me what you think :)**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Fall Away**

_**You swear you recall nothing at all  
That could make you come back down You made up your mind to leave it all behind  
Now you're forced to fight it out**_

"So…what do you think?" Hanna asked for the third time, in an annoyed tone. "Spencer?...Spencer?!"

But she was practically gone, distracted by the blue eyed boy across the hall sheepishly grinning back at her as he tried his best to pay attention to his conversation with Emily.

"I think your drooling," Hanna stated, rolling her eyes at Spencer's childish expression on her face. This she finally heard, breaking eye contact with Toby Spencer wiped the edges of her mouth, not sure if Hanna was kidding.

"Sorry, did you say something?" Spencer asked her at last.

"Yeah, I said a lot actually," Hanna said shortly, obviously beyond frustrated, but continued nonetheless, "I was wondering if you thought this Betsey Johnson dress was too much for homecoming? I really love the frills, but I'm not sure about the color…" she handed her phone over to Spencer, showing her a picture of the dress.

"Yeah, it's a bit much…." She agreed, catching Toby's eye once more. He was making if quite obvious that he was checking her out from across the hall, letting his eyes roam over her with desire. A light pink filled her cheeks instantly as his eyes move up and down her body.

"Oh for Christ sake, go over there and talk to him! It hasn't even been a whole week and you two can't keep it in your pants!" Hanna sighed, exasperated.

"I know," Spencer shook her head it was only Wednesday and she hadn't seen Toby since their little camping adventure last Friday. She had tried repeatedly to sneak out of the house so she could see him, but her parents always caught her, forcing her to come up with some lame excuse as to why she was going somewhere so late at night, which ultimately ended in her going back upstairs to go to bed. It was weird, her parents never had much interest in her social life before this, and now it was as though it was all they cared about. Before, as long as she had straight A's, they didn't even bother to learn the names of her friends, now they were questioning everyone she hung out with –making sure they were up to their ridiculous standards.

_**You fall away from your past  
But it's following you**_

"Seriously though, if you don't go over there soon, I think he might come over here and jump you…that is if Emily doesn't smack him first…" Hanna observed. Emily looked furious at Toby –her eyes narrowed in on him as her face started to turn red. Meanwhile, Toby didn't even notice, too concerned with the way Spencer's dress hugged her curves.

"Believe me I wish I could, as much fun as it is to see Emily pissed at him for this, but you know that I can't. My parents already found out somehow that we were together in school –which all we were doing was talking –and now I suddenly have a nine o'clock curfew."

"Did you ever find out who blabbed? I mean no one knows –you know except for me," Hanna smiled, flicking her hair over her shoulder over-dramatically. She loved being the only one in on the secret, even if it made her annoyed at times like these.

"Who knows…my parents call everyone they know to figure out who I'm with, it's ridiculous…but it was probably Andrew, they've been talking to his parents a lot lately because of the case they're working on for them," Spencer sighed.

"You know I never liked him," Hanna insisted.

"I don't even know why I liked him… our parents set us up remember? Which oh, by the way you haven't even heard the best part of this whole nightmare yet –my parents want to set me up again. With someone else, and if I don't go it'll look like I'm still with Toby –which I am and why I can't go," Spencer informed her. She was so torn as to what to do, she wanted to get on her parents good side again, so hopefully she could prove to them what a great person Toby is. But on the other hand she wanted to only be with Toby.

"What? Are you serious? You should go!" Hanna exclaimed which surprised Spencer tremendously. Hanna had been so supportive of Spencer's relationship with Toby, it was so bizarre that all of a sudden she wanted her to be with someone else.

Spencer couldn't even find words to respond, she only could manage a puzzled look as she furrowed her eyebrows at the blonde.

"No, No, you can still see Toby, but this lets you get on your parents good side! They'll see that you're coming around and give you more leeway so you can sneak out with Toby more and save me from having to clean up your drool," Hanna explained quickly.

"…but what about Toby?" Spencer asked, chancing a glance at the boy still across the hall from her. He was now hopelessly trying to reconcile with Emily, blushing slightly at his embarrassment. Spencer giggled quietly, looking down at her feet as she caught Toby's eye once more.

"It's just one date! It'll be innocent, trust me," she assured her.

"I'm still not sure…" Spencer replied as the warning bell began to chime.

_**You left something undone, it's now your rerun  
It's the one you can't erase  
You should have made it right, so you wouldn't have to fight  
To put a smile back on your face**_

The pair parted way, toward their separate classes only an hour or so before lunch. As the time passed, Spencer busied herself in her work, knowing how much attention her parents were giving her grades these days, anything less than an A would sure to make them suspicious. Her hand cramped as each hour passed her by, knots in her back arising from the stress of the large workload, but she preserved nonetheless –she was a Hastings after all, and Hastings did nothing less than their best.

But every time she had nearly a second to think, her mind began to wander again to the certain blind-date predicament. All she wanted was to be with Toby –to really be with him, not just sneak around calling him from Hanna's cell phone and starring at him from across the hallway at school. It wasn't fair to him that she couldn't give this relationship her all no matter how much she wanted to. But she knew that he didn't mind, he made that perfectly clear to her whenever she second guessed it, reassuring her that he didn't want to even think about anyone else. He was so patient and so kind, it made her heartbreak just thinking what might happen if her parents found out or if they never came around. But what if this blind-date they set her up on made things easier? Was it worth hurting the one guy she had ever had this deep of feeling for? But then her time to think was up as her AP Calc teacher passed out a pop quiz.

_**You fall away from your past  
But it's following you  
You fall away**_

After several grueling minutes of finding derivatives, Spencer turned in her quiz feeling confident in the work she tripled checked just as the bell began to ring. She gathered her belongings and made her way down the hallway to her locker where she found Hanna, Aria and Emily waiting for her, all looking a bit too giddy.

"Hey guys, what's up?" she asked suspiciously as she turned the combination for her locker.

"Hanna told us you're going on a date. With a _doctor_," Aria blurted out without thinking.

Spencer couldn't help but roll her eyes at this, "he's in med-school –not a real doctor yet," she corrected.

"still… that's pretty good luck. After everything that happened between you and Andrew and then your parents…you have to be at least a little bit excited?" Emily insisted.

Spencer had almost completely forgotten that Emily and Aria still knew nothing about her and Toby. They didn't even know that they had gotten together at first , when they slept over she had made it seem as though it was just her parents who were made her upset and had left out the whole reason why her parents had been so harsh on her in the first place. She didn't mean to keep it from them, she just didn't really feel like talking about it and they were much more concerned with making her feel better with endless amounts of ice cream than making her relive the nightmare of the events earlier that day. As far as they were concerned Spencer and Toby had a minor 'flirt-ationship' as Hanna would call it –a term she came up with in the 7th grade when Noel Kahn had continuous flirted with Aria.

"I mean, it's _my parents _who are setting me up so what can I expect?" Spencer finally explained her lack of excitement.

"Well, tell us about him at least!" exclaimed Aria.

"Well… his name is Wren and he and his family are from England but they moved to the states when he was in high school…"

"Wait. Does he have an accent?!" Aria enthused.

"I really don't know…I've never met him before. But he goes to Princeton but is ahead of schedule to graduate so he's interning at a hospital close to Rosewood for the semester so he has a better chance of finding a job when he graduates. Which is why our parents set us up, I guess his parents are worried about him finding people to hangout with or something like that…I'm really not sure but my parents suggested that we go out and well, now I guess we are…" Spencer explained, trying to sound as giddy as her friends but finding it hard to match their excitement. Wren sounded alright, but she wasn't looking for anyone else –her prince charming was standing right in front of her.

Oh shit. He was literally standing right in front of her –or down the hall a few yards at his own locker where he from the look of despair on his face, it was obvious he had heard just about everything. Spencer starred back at him, desperately needing to explain everything, but knew she couldn't. He looked into her eyes just a little bit longer, sorrow filled her deep mochas. But he shook his head silently, and gave her his best reassuring smile he could muster and walked down the hallway, the opposite direction of the giggly girls.

_**Something I've done that I can't outrun  
Maybe you should wait maybe you should run  
But there's something you've said that can't be undone**_

What had just happened. What the fuck. Toby tried his best to wrap his mind around everything he had just overheard, but Spencer's words just went round and around his head. She was going on a date. With someone who her parents actually approved of. He should be happy for her, he thought at least that was how he should feel, that way she could finally get the approval from her parents that she so desperately sought. He hated knowing that he was the wedge driving a gap between her and her family. She deserved to be with someone they approved of so she could have a real relationship, not just someone who she can talk to on her best friend's phone for maybe five minutes a day and that she only fools around with in a tent. She deserved more, that much Toby knew. She needed someone who could fit into her world –not someone who was from a completely different universe.

But as much as he tried to convince himself of this, the more he wanted to be the only one who could hold her in his arms. He wanted to be the one who could kiss her goodnight, to hold her when she cried, to make her feel that for once she was more than just 'good enough.' He wanted to be the one who could make her laugh so hard she couldn't breathe, the one who brought out that breath-taking smile of hers that for some reason she only saved for him. He missed these things so much, all he wanted to do was see her and actually hold her while they talked about nothing –not just a five minute phone call. What he would give for a night like the summer where they would stay up all night and just talk. He didn't even have to hold her at his point –although that would be an added bonus –all he needed was to hear her say his name in her beautiful sing-song voice.

But at last, he knew he was out of luck. His mind raced in infinite circles, creating new scenarios of how her date would end –none of which included him unfortunately. But the worst part was, he knew that there was no chance of her ended up with him in the end, no matter how much he wanted it. And that fact broke his heart. Maybe he should let her go, he considered, what if that was for the best?

_**And you fall away from your past, but It's following you  
You fall away  
It's following you**_

* * *

**So... what did you think? Will Toby let Spencer go so she can be with Wren or someone else her parents approve of? What will the Spencer's date be like with Wren? Wren?  
**

**Tell me what you think! Please if you would be so kind to leave a review, I will love you as much as Toby loves Spencer...which we all know is a lot.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading this, it means to world to my to be able to share this story with all of you! :) **

**psst... new chapter...tomorrow?**


	18. Closing Time

**Hey guys, so I get the feeling that many of you are afraid of "wrencer" appearing in this story, and as much as I would like to ease your fears, I think I'd rather let you guys see for yourself... I hope you enjoy this chapter I had a ton of fun writing it, it was inspired by the classic song "Closing Time" by Semisonic. Please feel free to yell at me in a review for even mentioning the word "wrencer" (i put it in quotations because as far as I'm concerned the ship does not exist in the show) or you know you could just help me out by giving your honest opinion of the story so far :)**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Closing Time**

_**Closing time  
Open all the doors and let you out into the world  
**_

With a stomach tangled in knots and a head sore from thinking too much on the subject, Toby Cavanaugh was growing more and more anxious as the week dragged on. The more he thought about it, the more he changed his mind. On one hand he wanted nothing more than for Spencer to be happy and for her parents to be able to accept her, but on the other he desperately craved to hold her in his arms and to taste the sweet warmth of her lips. Now that it was Friday, the day of her date, Toby was more and ready for today to be over with. He had nearly made it through the entire day of school which was miraculous in itself, but now that he only had one hour left he was more than ready to be done. He was at his locker and was considering skipping when a certain blonde in stilettos appeared before him.

"Hey Toby," Hanna smiled at him.

Toby tried to respond with the same enthusiasm, but had a difficulty managing it, so instead he just looked up at her in acknowledgment.

"Hey…" he gulped before asking the question he was afraid to ask all week, but his curiosity had gotten the best of him and suddenly he just _had_ to know, "…is she…is she really going…tonight…?"

"Yeah," she nodded solemnly, "but you shouldn't worry about it. She doesn't want him or that lavish lifestyle. She chose you remember?" he was amazed that she could say it as though it was no big deal.

Toby nodded, not really convinced though, "he's just so much more of what her parents want… and it's obvious that she's fallen for that before…besides he's a doctor? With like a freaking accent or something, how on earth am I supposed to compete with that?"

Hanna shook her head, grabbing his arm, she spoke confidently as she tried to reassure him, "Hey, she doesn't want what her parents want remember? This whole thing is meant so that you can be with her in the long run. She's not going to fall for some almost-doctor with an overdone accent when she's already heads-over-heels for you. She chose you, and if you don't believe me find out for yourself, she wanted me to give this to you," she handed over a folded up note before walking away with a smile, just as the bell began to ring.

_**Closing time  
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl  
Closing time  
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer**_

Toby went to his last class of the day, the note Hanna had given him lay heavy in his hand. When he finally took his seat in the back of the room he opened it slowly and carefully, almost as though he was afraid it would explode like a bomb if he wasn't cautious enough.

_Toby, don't worry about tonight, it doesn't mean anything I promise. I'll be home by 10, meet me there, my parents are finally out of town again (for whole weekend this time and no chance of them coming back early!) so be prepared for our own little sleepover ; ) –Spencer_

He would be lying if he didn't say his heart skipped a beat as his eyes finished skimming over Spencer's perfect handwriting, but there was something inside of him still unsure about the situation. Nonetheless he would find out later that night, he told himself trying to make himself feel better but still failing miserably.

_**Closing time  
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here  
I know who I want to take me home  
**_

Minutes drifted to hours as Spencer counted the seconds until ten o'clock. It was only seven now, which meant that Wren would be picking her up any time now so they could go on their _date_, she rolled her eyes even as she thought about this. Praying over and over that time would speed up, Spencer wanted nothing more than this date to be over with completely. Suddenly there was a slight knocking sound coming from the floor below. Gathering her purse and some lip gloss she was sure she wouldn't need, Spencer walked slowly toward the door with little enthusiasm.

As she opened the door, she was surprised slightly with who was awaiting her. At least he was cute, she thought before shaking the thought away from her mind.

"Hello Spencer," he greeted her charmingly, a friendly smile plastered on his face as he held out his hand for her, "I'm Wren Kingston."

"Hi," she shook his hand rather awkwardly, who shakes hands on a date?

He led her toward his car where he proceeded to follow her and open the passenger side door for her before going around to his own side and starting the car. As the engine ignited, classical music softly filled the air. It was as though Mozart and Beethoven were there, along with the rest of the people from their respected time period joining them on this so-called date. He drove slowly, cautiously toward the restaurant, which for some reason Spencer found aggravating. What was so wrong with going the speed limit?

As they arrived at the restaurant, Wren continued to do tiny things that he probably didn't even realize was driving Spencer crazy with annoyance. Like he purposefully walked faster in front of her just so he could open the door for her, and did the same thing when they were seated at the table so he could pull out her chair. She knew it was something that most girls would find charming, but what was so wrong with walking beside her? She was more than capable of lifting a finger and opening a goddamned door for herself.

Then there was the restaurant. Of course it was the fanciest place in town, where no matter how many times she went there with her parents celebrating a win of one case or another, or simply to celebrate one of Melissa's many achievements –but never Spencer's –she always felt underdressed and out of place. Quite frankly, she found it stuffy and full of old people most of the time.

_**I know who I want to take me home  
I know who I want to take me home  
Take me home**_

As the pair made some small talk, she found out that he had a dog, was an only child, and worked during the day at the hospital nearby. He chose Rosewood because that's where his parents grew up so he wanted to experience some culture or something to that extent, Spencer couldn't really remember what he said exactly. She told him that she had two siblings, and he of course already knew of the infamous Melissa -he thought very highly of her, what a shocker. His parents are brokers and work for banks and live in York County but her parents represent them from time to time in court.

After nearly an hour, and only one of several courses, they had come to an awkward silence. As he spun the contents of his wineglass and took small sips, Spencer fought the urge to yell at him to stop. His sips sounded more like loud slurps and he continuously spilled small drops of red wine all over the cream colored table clothes. Stating frankly that it wasn't something he should worry about, someone making minimum wage would clean it up. This frustrated Spencer beyond belief.

It had been nearly five minutes without one word being said, each searching their brains to break the awkward silence but coming up with a blank. These five minutes felt more like five hours until thank god, the waiter appeared with their main dishes.

Spencer poked at hers unsure, Wren had insisted on ordering for her because apparently the menu had some dish that was supposedly a specialty in Europe. Spencer kindly refused at first wanting nothing more than some simple pasta, but boy was he persistent and finally she agreed. But now looking down at her plate, Spencer was becoming less and less hungry the longer she starred at it and it starred back at her.

"Go on, try it. Trust me you'll love it!" Wren insisted, digging in himself making even worse noises than the slurping –a loud thud as he chewed and a loud gulp as he swallowed that was just as deafening.

Trying her best not to make a face, Spencer hesitantly began to cut a small bite out with her fork and knife, slowly she took a bite. She chewed and chewed and chewed. She swore the more she chewed the harder it got. Yuck. It tasted worse than it looked. She tried to swallow it –whatever _it_ was –without making a face.

"So… what do you think?" Wren asked eagerly, clapping his hands together as he studied Spencer's reaction.

"It's…uh….really different," she tried, but added quickly after he started looking disappointed, "but good!"

"See I told you!" he beamed.

Spencer took about five more bites before her stomach couldn't take it anymore, and the large brown blob on her plate remained untouched as she eagerly ate her vegetables on the side –becoming a vegetarian was looking pretty good at this point.

_**Closing time  
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from**_

Time only seemed to move slower from there. Even though she knew it was rude, every five minutes or so she found herself sneaking a peak at her watch as Wren continued to bore on and on about stories from his time in the ER…which he only talked about himself and how he had to clean the medical supplies. Sometimes, if he was lucky though, he got to watch as the surgeons prepare for surgery or clean up afterwards. Lucky him.

Finally the waiter appeared with their check and Wren slid in a couple of hundred dollar bills –as if that was nothing to him –and again quickly ran in front of Spencer so he could hold open that damn door and again at the car. It was nearly nine-thirty at this point and Spencer was praying that Wren would at least go the speed limit so she would have a chance at beating Toby to her house. Even though he drove slower than a snail and looked both ways at least twice every time they crossed an intersection, they somehow astoundingly made it to her house at a quarter to.

As soon as Wren put the car in park, Spencer quickly opened her door before turning to look at him, "well, thanks for the great night," she smiled pleasantly, even though all she wanted to do was race toward her front door.

"Oh, please Spencer, what sort of gentlemen would I be if I didn't walk you to your door?" Wren said.

"Oh, no. That's not necessary, I'm really tired anyways," Spencer lied, faking a yawn.

"Oh, well I guess that's for the best. I had a really good time tonight, you're really something," he leaned in as though he was about to kiss her.

Oh, no. Oh god please no, Spencer prayed as his face came closer to hers and he began to shut his eyes.

Spencer leaned in as well, not wanting to be rude, her face was about an inch away from his as she quickly turned away from him, so his lips found the side of her face instead. He left a wet, slobbery kiss on her cheek and as soon as he pulled away, Spencer ran out of the car and inside the big empty house not even caring anymore if he was offended.

After a few minutes she heard his BMW drive away at a painstakingly slow rate away from her house. She quickly wiped the slobber off of her cheek, wanting nothing more than to move on with her night. She smiled with giddy as she thought of Toby arriving in only a mere ten minutes. She only could hope that he got her message and agreed to come. From the look on his face a couple of days ago when he overheard her talking about her date, he was beyond upset.

_**So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits, I hope you have found a friend  
Closing time  
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end**_

She thought about the look on his face and trying to figure out if he was going to show up when she heard a low roar come from the other side of the door. She looked at her watch, it was only 9:55. Smiling to herself, she opened the door quickly and ran toward the tan truck. She didn't realize how much she could miss an old rusty hunk of metal until a shiny BMW proved how boring life can be.

Toby stepped out of the truck and Spencer quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in as she greeted him with a kiss.

Toby was hesitant at first, still unsure of the whole situation, but couldn't resist the spark of electricity that passed between them every time they touched and kissed her back just as fiercely.

Pulling away slightly Spencer couldn't help but smile as she looked up at him, "you're early…" she mused pecking his lips once more.

"hmmm…. I was excited to see you…it's been too long since I could do this," he greeted her back, cupping her butt and picking her up so she could wrap her legs around him while he kissed her passionately. He ran his hands up and down her body while her tongue tangled with his. And then all too soon, he set her down once more, his lips leaving hers as she reluctantly let go of him. He grabbed a duffle bag from inside of his truck as she led him inside the large manor, up the stairs toward her room.

_**I know who I want to take me home  
I know who I want to take me home**_

"I see you got the note," she nodded toward his bag.

"Trust me I would be here no matter what –as soon as I heard your parents were gone... But at least this time we won't be trapped in the wilderness with morning breathe and without a change of clothes…"

"Well, it's not quite as romantic, but it's better than sleeping on the ground," Spencer agreed, as she turned the corner toward her door.

"Sleeping? I think we maybe slept for about an hour last time –and you didn't lay on the ground you were on top of me!" he corrected her.

"What? Are you complaining? I think we have a spare bedroom to your disposable if you'd rather not let me sleep on top of you again, you know because that's all I planned on doing tonight," she brought her lips to his ear huskily as she eyed him playfully.

"Oh I wasn't complaining, I was just making a correction to your statement," he stated taking a step closer to her and placing a hand on the small of her back.

It was amazing how different Spencer felt around Toby than when she was with Wren. Sure Wren was nice and nothing less than a gentlemen, but he was also so boring and with almost no depth. Toby on the other hand, he made her feel alive and could make her smile or laugh easily. There was no question in her mind that she ended up with the right guy tonight.

_**I know who I want to take me home  
I know who I want to take me home**_

Toby, however still was not certain about what Spencer wanted. Sure she was joking about their sex life, but the fact still remained that he didn't fit into her world -she even had to go out with another guy which only proved this. The thought that she spent even a second with someone else who could think about her the same way he did drove him mad.

As if making his point that she was his and his alone, Toby leaned down and kissed her gingerly and softly. She kissed him back with just as much sweetness for a while wrapping her arms around his neck once more. After a few moments though, Toby made a turn, deepening the kiss as his movements became much more rushed and fierce as though there was a need or a thought he had to prove. It was different than their other kisses that night so far, and Spencer was a little taken away by how feisty he had gotten all of a sudden. And then he pulled away again, leaving Spencer to look up at him, out of breath, her eyes lost in another world.

Toby loved that only he could give her that look on her face from just a simple kiss. Stepping inside her room, he left his bag on the red chair by the window. He easily walked to the bed, laying back on it with his arms behind his head as he kicked off his shoes, looking as though he owned the place. "So, how was your date?" he smirked with confidence, while really on the inside he was on edge –not wanting to know how things had gone, yet dying to know what had happened.

Spencer stood in the doorway still, trying to recover from the kiss before walking toward him and sitting cross-legged next to him on her bed.

"Honestly…it was great. We're running away together next week."

"Spencer…. Don't…don't joke like that…." Toby turned toward her, his face much more serious now as he grimaced.

"Well, what do you expect when you ask me that?" Spencer shook her head sighing. This was the last thing she wanted to be talking about with him.

"…I don't know really…but listen," he sat up, facing her and looked into her eyes so he could analyze her expression as he talked, "I heard you talk about him to your friends and he sounds good for you. Much better for you than me, I mean he's a freaking doctor and your family loves him. He fits into your world so much better than I ever will…I understand if that's what you want…" he finishes, looking down at his hands so she couldn't read the hurt in his eyes as his voice cracked slightly.

_**Closing time  
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from**_

Spencer couldn't believe that Toby had been thinking about this still, even after she told him she wanted him to sleepover, told him in the note that the date meant nothing, and already made out with him twice when he had only been there for fifteen minutes –how many more blatantly obvious clues did the boy need? Following his eyes, she took his hands in hers, she smoothed over his skin with her thumbs as she spoke gently, "Hey, I don't want what my parents want. I want what _I _want, and that's you. I thought I made that clear. Wren was nice and kind and handsome…"she thought aloud, partially for herself.

Toby was wincing inside as she said each of these things about Wren, begging her internally to stop.

"…and yeah he's got an accent, but he's so boring and shallow just like the rest of this so called 'world' you claim I live in. Maybe I live in this alternative universe where the people are rich and selfish, but I belong with you in _your _world. I've never connected with anyone like I have with you. I'm surprised that you're still worried about all this I've told before haven't I? Even still, I'd rather be with you than anyone else I can't believe you haven't realized this."

Toby looked up to her as she finished he starred at her lips for a second before leaning in and kissing her with so much passion he nearly knocked them both off the bed, but he caught her just in time and instead turned them so her head rested against the pillow. They kiss for hours, so caught up in each other they can't bear to separate themselves. They don't go any farther than that though, finding it enough to just relish in the mesmerizing taste of the others lips. Their mouths moved against each other gently, catching up from their week apart. The stars shined down bright from outside and the moon moved up in the night sky, but still they lay there entranced with one another -only breaking when it was necessary to breathe before continuing once more. Finally their kisses turned softer as the hours dragged on and their movements become lazier. Spencer pulls away at last, look up at him as he runs his fingers down the edges of her hairline, his thumb running over the corner of her swollen lips.

"Well, that has to be some sort of record," Spencer mumbles.

"It was something alright," Toby agrees, "have I told you that you're beautiful lately?" he asked.

Blushing slightly at his sudden compliment, Spencer leaned her head against the hand still resting on her face, as she responded quietly, "not lately… we haven't really been able to see each other to talk remember?"

"True...Well you were beautiful on Monday," he kisses her forehead, "on Tuesday," his lips touch her nose, "on Wednesday and Thursday," on each of her cheeks, "and today, here in my arms, your exquisite," his lips lightly peck her lips for a brief second.

She practically hugs him closer to her as he speaks, wondering how she got so lucky to find someone as amazing as him. She knew that he thought she was too good for him on many levels, but she knew the truth, she could spend her whole life and she would never be able to deserve him.

_**I know who I want to take me home  
I know who I want to take me home**_

"You're amazing," she breathes happily before stifling a yawn from her long day.

"hmm..Are you sleepy?"

"Just a little," she admits, not wanting to leave her spot beneath him. But it was too late, Toby was already rolling off of her so she could get up and change into her pajamas. Sighing slightly at their lack of contact Spencer indeed got up, but instead headed toward the red chair where Toby's duffle bag resided. She dug through it for a moment before she found what she was looking for.

"What are you doing?" Toby asked, sneaking up behind her.

"Why don't you change out here? I'll be out in a second," Spencer avoided his question as she disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Since when was she so uncomfortable with changing in front of him? Lately it seemed like they had on less and less clothes when they were together. But he did what he was told, realizing she had stolen his pajama shirt leaving him to go to sleep shirtless, as he put on his plaid pajama pants.

_**I know who I want to take me home  
Take me home**_

Moments later the bathroom door creaked open and Spencer appeared, wearing Toby's long-sleeved blue shirt, which covered just enough of her to leave him desperately wanting more.

"Ahh…so the infamous shirt thief returns," Toby joked running his eyes over her long legs, thinking about how much better she looked in his clothes than he did.

"What? Do you want it back? "she stated walking toward him slowly, "All you have to do is ask…" she rested her hands on his bare chest.

"mmmm…as amazing as it looks on you, I would love to take it off of you?" he asked politely, his hands finding their way to her waist.

"Let me think about that for a second," she mused playfully, putting a finger up to her chin as though she was in deep thought, " nope, it's mine now. Finder's keeper's."

"That's ok, it looks better on you anyways," he admitted leaving kisses on her jaw before moving down toward her neck. Spencer brought her hands up to his hair pulling slightly to encourage him as he lips massaged her delicate skin. He had moved on to her collarbone when Spencer was encompassed with a yawn she couldn't quite stifle, no matter how much she wanted to. Despite this, Toby laughed lightly, "What am I boring you now?"

"No, no! Your…well goddamn, you're amazing… I just feel bad... It's been such a long day, but I want you and all the things you were about to do, it's just..just.." but suddenly she caught in another huge yawn.

"Don't worry, we have all weekend," Toby chuckled at her internal struggles, kissing her nose lightly before leading her toward the bed. He lifted up the covers as she climbed in before tucking in the blankets around her.

"Sweet dreams, beautiful," he kissed her forehead sweetly before walking toward the other side of the bed and climbing in himself as he wrapped an arm around her, holding her tightly against him, never wanting to let go.

_**Closing time  
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end**_

* * *

**Well, I hope this was fluffy enough for you, i've been in a really fluffy mood lately and that's partially why i've had such a hard time continuing this story lately. It's so hard to write a multi-chapter fanfic when all you want to write is fluff haha..**

**But what did you guys think? What did you think of wren? I wanted to write about him almost exactly what i think him to be on the show...except on the show he's a creep cuz he keeps on going after teenage girls when he's a freaking doctor which means he's at least in his late twenties.. end rant.**

**Anyways, i really want to thank everyone who has continuously been reviewing and weighing in their thoughts. It really truly means so much to me to hear your opinions -even if you think this is the worst story you've ever read i'd really like to know :)**

**next chapter look forward to some more spoby fluff as they continue spending their weekend together...if you thought this chapter was fluffy, just wait for the next one (it's almost done ;) ) **


	19. The Way You Make Me Feel

**Hey guys, I can't believe that we're already on ch. 19. I'm happy to say that i've finished planning out the rest of the chapters for this story and don't worry there's at least 15 left...yeah kind of a lot, but i'm excited for where it's going. Anyways, this chapter is really special to me, it's probably my favorite that i've written yet and I really hope you enjoy it. It was inspired by the song "The Way You Make Me Feel" by one of my all-time favorite bands, McFly. I strongly encourage that you listen to it while you read if you can, it just sets the perfect tone I think for this chapter. Anyways, like always i'd love to hear your feedback so feel free to leave a review :)**

* * *

**Chapter 19: The Way You Make Me Feel**

_**I think of yesterday and all the times I spent being lonely  
I watched the young being young while all the singers sung  
About the way I felt**_

Waking up with Spencer wrapped in his arms, nothing could make Toby happier. She slept soundly, exhausted from her stressful week as he looked down at her afraid if he would move she would wake. She was cuddled up against him, her head utilizing his bare chest as a pillow while her arm draped over his stomach holding him close. Stroking her arm so lightly he was sure she couldn't feel it, he watched as her shallow breathes continued, every once in a while she would mumble some gibberish in her non-conscious state. Hours passed by, yet he continued to watch her sleep as though she was the most fascinating movie he had ever seen. Thoughts of how lucky he was to have her trickled through his mind.

"hmm-aba…smeshh…lala…Toby…" she mumbled. He looked down at her, not sure if he heard her correctly.

"…Toby…" she said again, a little louder and clearer this time. He brought his lips down to her forehead, careful not to shake her, but he couldn't help himself, he was too busy marveling at the fact that he was the only coherent thought she had in her sleep.

Another couple of hours had passed by along with most of the morning, but Toby didn't care. This was where he belonged. Morning rain thudded softly against the window and yet Spencer hadn't flinched once, almost as though the gentle pounding of the rain acted as her personal lullaby. She had said his name twice more and each time, Toby's smile got a little bigger and a little brighter. Finally she began to stir, almost hitting his face as she stretched her arms above her head, not use to sleeping with another person in her bed. But Toby dodged her flying arms like a champ, instead leaning down and taking her lips captive in a soft and delicate good morning kiss. Slightly confused at first from drowsiness, Spencer didn't quite respond to his touch, but once she realized what was happening, she quickly moved her lips against his, loving this wakeup call.

"Good morning beautiful," Toby breathed, pulling away only slightly.

_**The days are here again  
When all the lights go down, what do they show me?  
The rules are all the same it's just a different game to tell you how I feel**_

"It is a good morning," Spencer agreed, opening her eyes for the first time, "hmm…what time is it?"

Looking at her bedside table for an answer, Toby responded, "almost eleven."

"I never sleep in this late…"

"Well you've had a long week," Toby justified, "a long week away from your boyfriend…"

"hmmm… I don't think I've ever called you that before," Spencer said lightly, stretching her legs as she curled her toes under the covers.

"Well, that's what I am right? And you're my girlfriend?"

"…Of course…it just feels weird saying that out loud I guess –especially when I can't say it out loud most of the time without getting grounded again, my parents were just starting to lighten up…"

"They are?" Toby gave her a questionable look.

"Yeah, they called before my…date… yesterday, I don't have a curfew anymore and they said they're starting to trust me more…I guess something good did come out of being away from you for those three miserable hours yesterday," Spencer explained.

"…yeah, that's great," Toby agreed, although not quite too enthusiastically.

But Spencer noticed the change in him, "Hey, this isn't still about Wren is it?" she rolled on top of him, cupping his face gently in her hand as she spoke, "I thought I already explained that I felt nothing for him –less than nothing if that was even possible...he annoyed me more than anything else."

"No, it's not that. I was just wondering how long it's going to be until your parents can finally accept me…" he thought aloud, dodging her eyes so she couldn't see how badly it hurt him that her parents thought so little of him.

"I was just thinking about that actually…" she stroked his hair back as she spoke, trying to make his adorable bed-head neat once more, "I think that things have been going so well for the past couple of days with my parents, and they see how hard I'm working… I think that we should tell them. Soon."

Toby gulped loudly. He wanted nothing more than for her family to be able to accept him, but he wasn't sure if they were ready for that yet. It had only been two weeks since her parents freaked out and now Spencer was just starting to get on their good side once more. Maybe they needed more time until Toby too could be on their good side.

"..Are you sure that's what you want? You know this could mean that they'll end up being even angrier than they were…" he asked, rubbing his hands up and down her spine.

"I know," she nodded, "but if we don't do this now, they'll find out eventually just like last time and catch us lying –and that won't be pretty. I think part of the reason why they were so mad earlier was _how _they found us together… but now if we talk to them like adults, asking them to respect our wishes to be together, they have a better chance of accepting us." She explained confidently.

"…ok, if it's what you want, we'll do it…just how soon were you thinking?"

She gave him a devilish grin and he knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. She kissed his neck softly as she spoke, hoping this could help convince him, "Oh, I don't know…maybe tomorrow…when they come home…you and I could be waiting for them…."

"Spencer…" he started, but was too distracted with the angelic kisses she was now leaving on his collarbone as her lips drifted down his body on to his chest, then his sculpted stomach.

"So…what do you think Toby?" she asked at last, toying with the drawstrings on his pants.

"I don't know…don't you think…it's ….it's a little…" but Spencer was now leaving her mark on the deep indented 'V' right above his pants.

"…fine!" he huffed at last, pulling her back up and turning them over so he could kiss her passionately. Spencer couldn't help but giggle in between kisses at Toby's greatest weakness –her.

_**Although it seems so rare  
I was always there**_

"Oh, you think it's funny how much control you have over me?" Toby asked, only half jokingly, as he pulled his mouth away and down toward her neck.

"You think that's control? I'll show you control…" Spencer stated suggestively, pushing on Toby's arm until he rolled over once more and allowed Spencer to lay on top of him. Her legs straddled his waist as she slowly, brought her hands down to the bottom of her –well his shirt –and began to remove it over her head. She showed more and more, little by little as Toby gawked at her, running his hand up, following the newly exposed bare skin. As soon as it was fully over her head, she flung it on the ground, leaving her in nothing but her panties. He pulled her down once more, so he could connect his lips with hers while his hands continued to run up and down her nearly-naked body. Spencer allowed him to kiss her, but pulled away as soon as he tried to stick his tongue in her mouth, wanting to prove she really did have the control. Instead she moved down to his neck, leaving a plentiful of kisses there –especially on his Adams apple, which drove him mad. She bit down softly there, and he just about growled under his breath. Smiling at how frustrated Toby was becoming with her –every time he tried to make a move, she beat him to the punch. She moved down to his chest once more escaping his lips as he tried to kiss her neck and he let out a frustrated sigh before growling again, his eyes rolled back as she began running her tongue and hands over the rock hard six pack while his hands moved to her hair in appreciation of her soft touch.

_**I can't stop digging the way you make me feel  
Ooh, ooh  
I can't stop digging the way…  
Ooh, ooh  
I can't stop digging the way you make me feel**_

She loved having him there with her, waking up with him and having the whole weekend to do as they pleased. After nearly a week with hardly any communication, both were more than desperate for the others touch. Spencer traced the elastic band on his pants slowly, trying to keep her control but starting to fail as Toby's hands roamed down from her hair to caress her breasts. She let out a slight moan as his hands started massaging her chest, and suddenly Spencer needed nothing more than to become one with him, as soon as she could get her thoughts straight she pushed down his pants and his boxers as he quickly kicked them off for her. He then moved his hands down to her underwear, running a hand up and down her inner thighs a few times, making her quiver before he pushed them off as well. He aligned himself allowing her to move on top of him, slowly at first while she tried to keep her control before losing it completely as he jerked up to meet her halfway. They screamed out each other's names over and over until they both came off their high, feeling so undeniably happy in that moment. Toby removed himself from her when it was over, but Spencer still lay on top of him, nuzzling her head under his chin as she fought to control her breathing.

"…you were right," Toby panted, rubbing a hand up and down her back, "I have absolutely no control when it comes to you…"

Spencer smiled at this and stretched her neck toward him to kiss him lazily. They lay like that for a few minutes, while they tried to regain their conscious thoughts.

"Hmmm…have I told you that I missed you lately?" Spencer purred.

"I think you just told me actually," Toby chuckled, "but I missed you too…it was so hard being able to see you yet not able to do more than that. It was like a giant tease –I could look at you, but I could touch you," he ran his hands down the length of her arms, making his point.

_**I took a little time scripting all the things that I tell you  
I'll send them through the mail and if all goes well it'd be a day or two**_

Lying on top of Toby, tangled up in sheets was her paradise. There was nowhere else she wanted to be. But the world did continue to spin and time did drift on, no matter how much neither of them wanted it to. Spencer tried to focus her thought on the comfort Toby had brought her, but thoughts of her to-do list kept on creeping into her brain.

As if reading her mind, Toby broke the comfortable silence, "So...What's on the agenda for today…you know other than round two later?" he asked at last.

"…well I know that we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together lately…but I was kind of needing to finish some college applications…" Spencer replied, feeling slightly guilty that she had to do some work when it was supposed to be their weekend alone together.

"Hey, I'm more than happy to let you work, as long as I get to hold you _while_ you work –that's my one condition," Toby said with a smile, "but as I recall, someone with a certain caffeine addiction might need some coffee first…"

"Hmm… I didn't know you wanted coffee, why didn't you say so?" Spencer joked, kissing his nose, "but I think I might need a shower first, someone has gotten me all sweaty…"

"Of course it's my fault that you were horny…"Toby joked lightly, rolling his eyes but the smile on his face just wouldn't fade.

"Well if you didn't have a six pack or those biceps or those sexy ice blue eyes…" she pecked his lips before finishing her thought, "besides you were just as horny as me, you're already begging for seconds!" Spencer laughed.

"Just admit it, you're thankful for having a boyfriend so willing to oblige to your needs," Toby smirked.

But instead of the witty comeback Toby was expecting, Spencer touched his lips with hers once more, kissing him softly before replying huskily, "thank you," as she rolled off of him. Still naked, she walked toward the bathroom door connected to her room. Toby lay still in her bed, starring at her as though she was the most ravishing creature he had ever seen. He heard the water start pouring down as Spencer turned on the shower, and after a few minutes she opened the door, sticking only her head out she turned toward him asking, "Aren't you coming? I having more needs for you to oblige to…" before disappearing inside once more.

And suddenly his feet couldn't move fast enough as he nearly knocked the door down while trying to open it.

_**I spent some extra nights trying to forget the things that I've shown you  
By now the smoke is cleared  
And all along I feared it would turn out this way**_

After their little rendezvous in the shower, both Spencer and Toby got dressed, Spencer wearing the shirt she stolen from Toby almost a month ago when they decided to first take things slow, and a pair of cotton shorts not really caring what she looked like as long as Toby didn't. She blow-dried her hair as Toby made them breakfast downstairs.

She sipped her coffee happily as she watched Toby pounce around the kitchen, laughing at him when he almost burned the toast. But nonetheless she ate his food happily, it was simple –toast and eggs –but Spencer loved each bite of it.

As the food on her plate began to disappear, her anxieties about her college applications were leaving her on edge as she desperately needed to get to work.

Noticing the lost look in her eyes Spencer only got when she was stressed, Toby put his fork down, walking to the other side of the counter where Spencer sat on a barstool, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek affectionately. She leaned into his touch, breaking her mind free from her distractions and toward Toby instead. "Hey, go on and start on your applications," he whispered as he nuzzled against her shoulder, "I can clean up when I finish eating."

"You sure?" Spencer asked, thankful for his understanding.

"Yeah, I'll meet you upstairs in a few minutes…besides the sooner you finish the sooner I can distract you from the stress your parents put on you for getting into an ivy league…"

But Spencer shook her head, slowly, holding on to his hands tangled around her waist, "this isn't for an ivy…" she looked down at her hands on top of his.

She could practically hear his brows furrow in confusion, "…what's it for then?"

Spencer got up from her seat, turning around so she could face him, he kept his hands on her waist, resting them on the small of her back as she moved. "I've been researching some schools on my own lately…after what you said to me on the hill, you know when you asked me where I would live if I could choose anywhere… well I've been looking at some schools in New York, and of course my parents already have me applying to Columbia…but I was thinking about applying to NYU, you know just to see what would happen if I got in…"

Toby listened to her speak patiently, he realized that this was the first time she told someone that she wanted to do something next year that wasn't in her parents plan. He wanted to be happy for her, he really did, but the more she spoke the more he realized how he didn't have the option to get out of Rosewood so easily. He wasn't even applying to schools –he knew he couldn't get in. Don't get him wrong, he was so proud of her for making a decision on her own, but something in the back of his head kept on nagging him about how little he knew about his future.

_**Though it might be wrong  
My light is always on**_

"wow…" was all Toby could say.

"I know…"Spencer nodded, "I'm even more nervous about this application than Harvard's, which just sounds really weird. But I just really want this to work out…"

"Well go…work on it," Toby kissed her cheek and let her go as he moved her plate to the sink and started loading the dishwasher.

Spencer stared back at him for a second, wondering about his future. He hadn't applied to any colleges yet, she knew that, but she couldn't understand why. He was more than capable of it, even if he just went to a community college it would be a huge step for him. The future was coming –and fast, and Spencer couldn't help but worry about them in the upcoming year.

Pushing these thoughts away from her mind, Spencer made her way up the stairs and to her room, pulling up the application she had been most afraid of sending in on her laptop. She worked diligently, she had filled out so many applications at this point she was nearly an expert, but for some reason she found herself double and triple checking her answers as she filled them out carefully –even her social security number and date of birth seemed like a harder question than she was used to. She wanted this application to be perfect, she was so lost in thought that she hadn't heard the door creak open and Toby walk into her room. He sat down on her desk next to her when she finally noticed him.

"Hey, I'm almost done –thank god I started this earlier this week, I'm just double checking everything over…" Spencer's voice faded as she continued to over-analyze the answers she had given to each question.

"I'm sure you sound almost as incredible on paper as you are in person, they'll be idiots not to want you," Toby told her kindly.

"Thank you, but I think you might have a slight bias," she nudged his knee with her elbow gently.

Finally she had scrolled down to the last question and was on the last page, "…I think I'll just wait to send this in tomorrow…" her stomach jumped in circles as her cursor was on the edge of the 'summit' button.

"You can work on it some more today if you want, I don't mind really," Toby encouraged.

"…it's not that, I just want to make sure it's good enough…" her eyes were wide with worry.

"Of course it's good enough, you've probably spent hours –days most likely on it. Spencer don't worry, you'll get in. The more you hesitate the less likely you're going to send it in. I know you, if you don't send it in now you'll regret it –and this isn't something you should ever regret doing," he told her.

She sighed heavily before she responded, "you're right…but I can't do it, you do it!" she handed her laptop over to Toby. Closing her eyes and looking away as Toby moved the cursor away from the red 'x' button on the top-right of the screen and to the bottom, where with a simple click he pressed summit. "Done," he stated easily, closing her laptop as she turned to look at him, feeling as though a giant weight was just lifted off of her shoulders. He let her have a moment to let it sink in . She blinked a few times, this was it -she gave it all she had and now the waiting game began. But she didn't want to dwell on it, that would only make her anxiety worse.

Toby asked"What do you want to do now?" He hopped off her desk and pulled her out of her chair so he could hold her once more.

_**I can't stop digging the way you make me feel  
Ooh, ooh  
I can't stop digging the way…  
I can't stop digging the way you make me feel**_

"Do you know what we haven't done in forever? We should have a scary movie marathon –you know like we used to do in the summer," Spencer suggested. She missed how simple things had been that summer and after all the stress in her life recently. She missed spending every day with Toby doing nothing except laughing all day with her mind at ease. Now that she had a weekend to do whatever she wanted, she was going to hold Toby captive and try her best to gain some of that summer back.

"Are you sure you want to watch a scary movie? Every time you get so scared and end up practically in my lap…" Toby reminded her gently.

Spencer smiled at him bashfully looking almost too innocent as she replied,"…maybe I wasn't scared, maybe I just wanted to be closer to you," she raised her eyebrows knowing that she had shocked him slightly before walking away, down the stairs toward the living room where the giant flat-screen resided.

He watched as she walked away from him, taken aback slightly. He would have never guessed Spencer Hastings to have played him like that –especially when they were both in relationships at the time. He followed her downstairs still trying to figure out if she was being serious as she opened the large entertainment system, trying to find the movie she was looking for. Finally she found "The Blair Witch Project," and set it up on the TV before taking a seat next to Toby on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she rested her head back against his chest, bringing her feet up and tucking them in underneath her.

As though testing her to see if she was being serious before, Toby watched her carefully while the movie progressed, studying her movements. But as time went on she did come closer and closer to him, snuggling against him. She still flinched slightly at the scary parts –but not nearly as much as she had the first dozen times they had seen it that summer.

As the movie came to an end, Spencer was sitting in his lap as promised, but Toby still couldn't tell if she was scared or just wanted to be closer to him. Coming to realize that he'll never know the truth, he gently scooted her off of him as he got up to pick out another movie.

They watched movie after movie all day, not needing a huge event for a day together like some couples might, they only needed each other. Spencer sat contently on his lap with his arms wrapped around her so tight she was sure no one could ever hurt her as long as he was there –even if the movies they were watching wanted to convince her otherwise. As time passed on, Toby found himself more interested in Spencer's reactions than the movies themselves, no longer studying them but rather finding them entertaining even if all she did was flinch slightly. He muffled his laughter as she jumped, but hugged her closer to him, making her know that she was safe. Her eyes were glued to the screen, but Toby's eyes were glued to hers. He stroked her hair tenderly as he kept on watching the beautiful brunette in his arms. After a while she turned toward him, "Toby the movie's over…it's your turn to pick again," she reminded him.

That's when he realized he had spent the entire movie watching her instead –he swore the movie had just started a few minutes ago. But he had gotten so lost in her sweet scent that he missed the entire thing. "Oh…right," he said, as she got up to allow him to pick out another DVD from the hundreds the Hastings had to choose from. They had so many but for some reason Spencer had ever watched them.

_**I can't stop digging the way you make me feel  
Ooh, ooh  
I can't stop digging the way…  
**_

He blindly picked one from the horror movie section before returning to the couch. He tried to watch the movie this time, he really did, but again he somehow got distracted. He tried to figure out why he was having such a hard time focusing on the screen when he realized something.

He had done something he had promised he would never do. Not after he had seen what had happened to his father once his mother died. His father was nearly going crazy now, even though it was years later. But somehow Toby had fallen in the same predicament that had made his father this way. He, Toby Cavanaugh, had fallen in love.

Suddenly he was beginning to realize how deep and strong his connection truly was to Spencer. What had started with an undeniable attraction, like magnets that were opposite but couldn't help and pull toward each other, had blossomed into a desire to hold her in his arms every time he thought of her. Now though, he was in too deep to ever let go, and that scared him shitless. Something inside him told him to run away as fast as he could and never look back, but something deeper held him there like an anchor never letting him move away from her. She had made him so happy in the past few months; he never knew he could feel so strongly. He realized he loved her laugh and her smile and how her deep mocha eyes told him everything she was too afraid to say. He loved how he was the only one who could read her like a book and how he was the only one who she really let in. He loved how she made him feel important -like he mattered, and how she said his name -simple and sweet. He loved that no matter how shitty of a day he was having, she could made him feel better by just being near him. When he held her it was as though the world couldn't hurt him for once. He loved her, he really did, with every fiber of his being.

He pressed his lips against the back of her neck three times, lingering there before holding her tighter against him. He wanted nothing more than to tell her how strong his feelings really were for her, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the way she felt it was weird to call him her boyfriend earlier that day. Maybe it was the way she pushed him away so many times before they had gotten to this point. Or maybe it was for fear that she might not say it back.

_**I can't stop digging the way you make me feel, yeah  
I can't stop digging the way you make me feel**_

* * *

**So...whatcha think? I know, it's a bit fluffy, but fluff is my favorite to write. I hope you really enjoyed it! Thank you to everyone who has been following this story and who has added it to their favorite/follow list. Also i just wanted to say i love you to everyone who has been reviewing. Nothing makes me happier than to hear your thoughts on the story!**


	20. Fix You

**Hey guys, I'm so so so so incredibly sorry for my lack of updating lately. I know I suck okay? But this chapter is kind of important so I would really love to know what you guys think. It was inspired by the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Fix You**

_**When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse  
**_

"Spencer, calm down. Everything's going to be okay," Toby reassured her. But her relentless pacing continued. She had walked endless circles around her kitchen over and over again for the past hour. Her parents were expected to home any second now and this was it. It was her chance to stand up to them and tell them exactly what she wanted -Toby.

"Hey, listen to me," he rested his hands on her hips, holding her still at last, "everything will work out," he promised even though he wasn't so sure of it himself but in that moment he had to believe it. "I know, I just really want this…" she pecked his lips lightly just as she heard the front door open and the soft thudding of footsteps make their way down the long hallway. She quickly unwrapped herself from Toby, instead taking her place next to him as she waited for her parents to find her.

"Spencer? Are you here?" her mother called out.

"In the Kitchen," she answered as her parent appeared before her.

"…what is this?" her mother eyed Toby standing next to her daughter.

"Maybe we should sit down," Spencer suggested nervously, leading Toby to sit next to her at the kitchen table. Her mother crossed her arms reluctant at first, but at last joined them scowling as she took a seat. Mr. Hastings followed his wife, not really too concerned as he was looking through the mail left for them on the counter, but took a seat as well still sifting through envelopes.

"What is this all about Spencer?" he turned his attention to her finally, breaking the uncomfortable silence. His wife was glaring at Spencer, refusing to even acknowledge Toby's presence.

"Listen, I know you wanted me to…to explore my options… in who I decide to associate myself with. And I took your suggestions into consideration –I went on the date with Wren Kingston like you wanted –but in the end my heart kept on coming back to one person," she looked at Toby a slight smile starting to escape her lips. "I know this isn't exactly what you wanted for me, but I'm really _really_ happy with him. He's an incredible person, you just haven't gotten the chance to see it yet," Toby took her hand under the table and squeezed it tightly, showing his support as she finished.

"Spencer, I think we made our opinions on this matter very clear…" Mrs. Hastings reminded her coldly.

"…but if you just gave him a chance!" Spencer exclaimed becoming frustrated quickly.

"You're seventeen, how are you expected to know what you want out of life? You went behind out backs and obviously against the rules we laid out for you. How are we supposed to trust you now? Especially when you're gallivanting around with some trivial boy instead of focusing on your future?! Do you even know how this is going to hurt you in the long-run?! Of course not! You don't' think about these things!" Mrs. Hastings shook her head in irritation of her daughter's disobedience.

_**And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?**_

Toby was starting to feel severely uncomfortable, they talked about him as though he wasn't even there. Suddenly in a weak voice he broke through the stone cold wall her parents were putting up, "With all due respect Mr. and Mrs. Hastings," they stared at him as though they were shocked that he had a voice but he continued nonetheless determined to make his point. "I think your daughter is an amazing human being –you did a great job raising her. I would never do anything intentional to hurt her –not emotionally or academically –I believe she's going to do great things in this world and I would never get in the way of her doing that," he turned to look at Spencer who seemed touched by his kind words, "I look up to her in those ways, she's driven and passionate and will conquer the world one day. I can only hope that I can be half as amazing as she is…"

They sat in silence once more just staring back at him. Toby was starting to regret speaking at all, until finally Mr. Hastings let out an exasperated huff, "Well of course she will, she is a Hastings after all," her father stated as if it was something everybody knew.

"Peter…" her mother warned in a strict tone.

"No Veronica, it's obvious that they're going to see each other anyways, he might as well stay for dinner before we make our final decision on anything."

Mrs. Hastings furrowed her brows, annoyed at her husband; she stared coldly at Toby waiting for him to break. She made him want to do nothing but get up and run away from the table, afraid that she might attack him once more, but instead he stared back, giving his most honest and genuine look. He didn't smile, only looked back at her, hoping it came off as sincere.

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

Finally she spoke, her face still a stone wall, "Fine. But Spencer has a nine o'clock curfew on both weeknights and weekends… No sleepovers… and she has to spend at least two hours every day _by herself_ studying. This is an important year for her and she can't be distracted when the Ivy Leagues look at her transcripts. "

"I understand," Toby nodded, answering for Spencer.

She turned her attention to her daughter for the first time what felt like a long time, "Now, we've had a long day from traveling and I have a lot of work to do. Spencer, I assume your fine with being on your own for dinner before you start your studying," she looked at Toby once more, "You have an hour." And then just like that she was gone, turning quickly on her heels as she marched up the stairs toward her home office.

Mr. Hastings followed suit soon after, not even bothering to look or acknowledge his daughter or her boyfriend before he too disappeared down the long hallway toward his own office, downstairs.

Sighing from relief Spencer couldn't have been more thrilled from the outcome of her confrontation. "We did it!" she squealed, leaping up from her seat and finding her way on Toby's lap, hugging him close.

Laughing a little from her enthusiasm, he hugged her back, just as excited. "I can't believe that really worked," he stated blankly, more so to himself.

"I told you!" she pulled back slightly so she could look at him.

"I should have known…"

_**And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go…**_

"Do you want some dinner?" she asked, getting up from his lap and walking toward the fridge to look at her left-over options.

"Nah, I'm fine. I should probably get going soon anyways so you can start your studying…" he got up from his chair.

Looking slightly disappointed Spencer stared back at him, "Are you sure? We still have an hour…"

"What a weekend together wasn't enough for you? I'm starting to think I can never please you…" he chuckled, moving toward her.

"The only way you can fully please me is if you never go," she admitted quietly, half hoping he didn't hear so he wouldn't know how deep her feelings were becoming.

"Believe me, it's not my choice," he pressed his lips up to her cheek, capturing her hand in his, "beside this leaves us with a whole hour to say goodbye…." He led her toward the front door, their fingers interlocked loosely as he stepped outside and closed the door behind them.

"Hey, do you know what this means now that we can be out in the open?" she asks him happily as she fastened her arms around him.

"Hmmm…we can do this wherever we go?" he presses her lips tightly against hers.

Spencer kisses him back for a second before finishing her thought, "mmmmhhmmm…that too… but we can go to Homecoming together next week…that is, if you want to go..."

"Getting to hold you in my arms all night, having you pressed tightly up against me?" he pulls her closers leaving no gaps, "how could I say no to that?"

Placing his hand on the small of her back, he used his free hand to gently guide her chin up toward his so he can kiss her softly. They lose track of time, as their lips dance together following a slow gentle rhythm. It's not rushed or with any deep need, but instead soft and kind with a sort of longing to stay in that moment forever. At last Toby pulled away, not wanting Spencer to get in trouble already, "I should go..." he says at last.

…_**But if you never try you'll never know  
just what you're worth**_

"No…" she whimpered, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer.

He chuckled lightly at her resistance but reassured her, "I'll see you tomorrow, I'll even pick you up for school."

"Promise?"

"I wouldn't miss it," he said, leaving a light kiss on her nose as if proving his point, "besides you need to study remember?"

"Oh yeah...that," she rolled her eyes unenthusiastically.

He left a short light kiss on her lips before letting her go, "Study hard, beautiful."

Spencer waited until he was far out of sight, watching as he climbed into his truck and drove away. She waited until the loud roar of his engine couldn't be heard, and the smell of the exhaust couldn't be smelled, thinking back about the amazing weekend she had shared with her boyfriend, before disappearing inside herself and getting to work. She wanted nothing more than to prove to her parents that she was right and that being with Toby really was the best thing for her.

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

As much as he wanted to stay, he knew he had to get home; it had been over 48 hours since he had been at his house and he wasn't sure how his family would feel about that. Pulling into his driveway, he noticed an extra car parked on the street in front of their house. Great, Jenna's new boyfriend Garrett was there. He was a complete tool who wanted nothing more out of life than to get high and wasted every chance he got. As far as Toby was concerned he was a rude arrogant jerk who was almost as bad to be around as Jenna herself.

Stepping out of his car, he heard a rumbling coming from behind the bushes that concealed the Cavanaugh's backyard. Looking for what the noise had been, he made his way toward the bushes, ready to beat off a raccoon or some other wild animal. But the more steps he took, the stronger a certain pungent smoke smell became.

An array of giggling pursued around him as he found Garret and Jenna smoking a joint, "Toby! The Step-Brother is home!" Jenna announced, "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever…"

Rolling his eyes, Toby wasn't in the mood to put up with Jenna's bullshit, "what are you doing Jenna? If our parents find out that you're smoking they'll kill you."

This only made her laugh harder –almost an evil snicker that took over her body before she could respond, "you really think they'll do anything to me? The prodigy daughter? No. It's your fault, like always that I'm 'so screwed up.' You really think they expect this from me? I'll just say that I found your secret stash."

"I don't smoke…" Toby countered, trying to explain his innocence.

"No, but it would make sense that you would. You make it almost too easy to pin everything on you…"she brooded, taking another puff.

"Just do me a favor and leave me out of this okay?" Toby turned around and headed toward the front door, not even bothering waiting for a response. It would be a waste of time anyways.

As Toby stepped inside, once again he found his father passed out on the couch clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels and he couldn't help but wonder how long he had been out for this time. Toby didn't even bother trying to pick up the mess around the house, the empty bottles and dirty dishes were really piling up. He briefly wondered where his evil-step mother was, normally she would have been on his case from the second he opened the front door, yelling at him for not doing something or other her-highness requested while still being completely ignorant to the fact that her daughter was getting stoned with her boyfriend in the backyard. Yup, welcome to the Cavanaugh's.

_**Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I...**_

Instead, Toby quickly went upstairs to his modest bedroom to unpack from his weekend's adventure with the girl he loved. As soon as he was finished he started on his homework that he had been neglecting for a while now. For some reason he just couldn't get around to finishing it, he knew that if Spencer knew this she would be begging to help him day and night to get it done, but Toby didn't care that much. School was school, but he had bigger problems in his life that took priority.

All of a sudden his door slammed open and there stood his father, looking slightly unstable as he stumbled inside. His eyes bloodshot, face flushed.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS TOBY?! YOU LITTLE BITCH!" he screamed at him.

Wincing slightly at the sudden outburst, Toby cowered back, "what?" he choked out at last.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" his father screamed again, holding up a used joint, "Your step-mother found this in the backyard. You're such a little fuck-up I should have known!"

_**Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I...**_

"I didn't do it, I swear!" Toby declared.

"Well, why has she been finding weed all over the house lately? Jenna told me she found some yesterday, how the fuck do you explain that?!"

"It wasn't me! I don't smoke, I swear! I wasn't even home yesterday, didn't you even notice?! Of course you didn't…" Toby yelled back at him, standing up from his desk.

"You were here yesterday, that's what your Jenna said when she found your secret stash. She said you showed it to her! How dare you lie to me like that you little piece of shit! I'm your father for god's sake! How dare you!" He towered over Toby, becoming angrier and angrier as the seconds passed.

"How dare I? You didn't even notice that I was gone all weekend! Jenna's lying like she always does and you don't see it!" Toby knew it wasn't a good idea to add fuel to the fire –especially when his Dad was still under the influence, but he was so tired of always getting blamed. He always tried his best, but he was stuck cleaning up Jenna's mess or taking her fault.

"Don't talk about her like that! Her and her mother are the best thing that's ever happened to us and you should be thankful for them being so generous! You're nothing more than an ungrateful piece of shit!"

"Our lives have been hell ever since mom died and you know it!" Toby cried out as hot tears began to flood down his face.

Immediately, his father's face was beat red, his eyes huge with shock and hurt before morphing into nothing more than pure blazing anger. And all of a sudden his palm came fast and hard against Toby's cheek, stinging as Toby's face fell to the side. Gripping his arms so tight Toby was sure there had to be a strain in the circulation there as his father shook him, coming closer so his face was only inches away, he breathed heavily in his face looking like a dragon breathing fire. Toby could smell nothing but the harsh stench of whiskey escaping from his father's mouth as it harassed the innocent skin on his face. He wanted to pull back, he wanted to fight back, he wanted to do something, but he couldn't find the strength to do it. All of a sudden Toby was a little kid again, vulnerable and scared as his father towered over him. This wasn't the same man that Toby grew up with -that much he was sure of. This wasn't the man who had taught him how to ride a bike and took him camping every summer until he was thirteen. No, this was a completely different person who had morphed into a monster due to uncontrollable grief and self-medication.

"Don't speak of her." His father said through clenched teeth, his eyes going wild with rage. "Don't fucking talk about her." He stared into his eyes for a moment longer, the blood vessels threatening to explode as they popped out, before finally letting go, shoving Toby down as he stormed out of the room.

Toby sat on the floor where he landed for a moment, trying to catch his breath after what had just transpired between him and his dad. His father might have been neglecting and harsh on him at times, but he had never hurt him –at least not before. Now things were different. Things were boiling out of control and Toby was the target the bow and arrow was pointing at.

He knew one thing, he could never tell anyone about this. No one. Maybe he deserved it for riling his dad up, maybe he didn't. But all he knew was that no one would understand –not even Spencer. If she knew she would freak out, but it wasn't anything to worry about, right? It was just a onetime thing...right? Toby felt his cheek again, it was still stinging slightly and was most likely flushed. His arms ached a little from his father's grasp but he was sure the pain was nothing that wouldn't be gone in a few days time –there probably wouldn't even be a bruise. He picked himself off the floor and got ready for bed, wanting nothing more than to be able to wake up to a new day where he could see the most beautiful girl he knew and have her in his arms once more. Then maybe he would feel okay.

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

* * *

**So...whatcha think? I know it's kind of a lot to take in, I just hope that I did it justice.**

**Coming up in the next couple of chapters: Toby dealing with his dad/ family issues and Spoby Homecoming dance.**

**Please feel free to leave a review, it means the world to me no matter if you just want to yell at me for not updating or because you hate this story. No matter what, I'd love to know what you think :)**


	21. Promise the Stars

**Hey guys, can I start out with saying that I'm so so so sorry about this delay in updating. I don't know what it was about this chapter but it gave me a really hard time - I even wrote two different versions of it because I wasn't happy with it, but even after that I ended up mashing both versions together. Now I'm decently happy with it, but I'd love to hear your criticisms and thoughts :) This chapter was based off the song "Promise the Stars" by We The Kings, ENJOY :D **

* * *

**Chapter 21: Promise the Stars**

_**Let's take off in flight and race through the sky  
And like the hundreds of airplanes we're floating way up high  
We'll never look down , we'll build our own town  
And like the thousands of clouds we will never touch the ground**_

A series of blissful days had turned into a week in a blink of an eye. Spencer didn't know what, but something about being with Toby just made her feel alive for the first time in a long time. It was as though she had been living her life in a hazy fog and Toby had cut through it to expose an unknown path and showed her what it was like to really feel.

While they hadn't had much time to spend alone together with her parents strict guidelines, they tried their best to make time for each other. He had been picking her to go to school every day and drove her home too, leaving them exactly thirty-minutes to be alone before her mom would call after school and make sure Spencer would start her studying –or jail time as Spencer referred to it as. But she didn't care, if it meant that she was free to see Toby, she was more than willing to spend some more time preparing for her Calc test that was three weeks away. Her parents had been coming down on her hard again though, just when they were starting to lighten up. She had gotten a ninety-eight on a French test and they threw a fit, asking her why she didn't earn those two extra points.

That's why Spencer Hastings found herself studying for hours after school on a Friday when most people her age were out with their friends already celebrating the big homecoming weekend. She was trying her best to give her AP French practice book her full attention, but she couldn't help letting her mind wander as memories of that week kept fluttering through her head.

She had been in complete paradise, simple as that. While she and Toby were thrilled that they could be open about their relationship now, they seemed to keep most of the PDA down to the minimum, sneaking in some hand holding every once in a while at school. It wasn't that they didn't want the whole world to know that they were together, it was just that both had reasonably fresh break-ups and it wouldn't be fair to either Mona or Andrew if they had found out so soon that their fears had been right all along. Besides, something about the way that Mona had stared down Spencer in the hallway made her skin crawl.

And then there was Andrew who continued to make harsh comments about both Spencer and Toby whenever either of them was in hearing range. So far Spencer had rumors surrounding her that called her both a slut and a joke for not wanting to sleep with him when they were together, which she really didn't understand because they only contradicted each other. He was just being an asshole though–at least that's what her friends told her to make her feel better.

But Spencer didn't really care, she knew Andrew and she knew that deep down he was still hurting from their rocky ending. He may be an asshole, but she still cared about him –she had been with him for three years –and something about the lost sadness in his eyes she noticed when he saw her and Toby laughing that made her feel sorry for him. Deep down she knew he was just as lost as she had been before Toby had picked up her pieces.

And then there were their friends who for some reason they were afraid to break the news to. They had all been a close-knit group for so long, it would be weird if Toby and Spencer started to act all couple-y around them…right? For some reason they were afraid to tell them. They had been so happy to just live in this fantasy land where only the two of them existed, it was as though if they were to tell their friends they would be in the real world now, and that scared Spencer shitless. Toby didn't seem to mind though; it was as though they had an unspoken agreement where they only kissed when they were alone –and he definitely never wasted time getting her alone. But Spencer had barely spent any time with her friends lately, the last thing she wanted to do was annoy them with obnoxious PDA anyways.

_**But would you risk some broken bones  
Just to call this place home  
This could be home**_

But all these excuses as to why Spencer didn't want to share her incredible boyfriend with the rest of the world wouldn't matter soon. They were going to the homecoming dance together the next day, and the whole world would find out soon enough as Toby would whisk her away and hold her close as they danced all night. Spencer was so excited –she couldn't wait, all she wanted was to be in her safe place in Toby's arms. That was the one place where no one could hurt her and the world would stand still so she could breathe again.

Looking at the clock, Spencer realized she only had thirty minutes to finish the rest of her practice test before her brother would be stopping by. It had been months, but Jason was finally coming home from Penn State and Spencer couldn't wait to see him. He had gotten into a huge fight with their parents almost six months ago and Spencer hadn't seen him since.

Trying her best to focus her attention, Spencer worked efficiently, breaking down each question strategically until the chime of the doorbell rang leaving her feeling giddy with excitement at the sound of it. She quickly answered the last question she was on before practically running down the stairs and opening the door, embracing her brother in a tight hug. She missed him so much –he was her only ally in the entire Hastings clan and without him she felt lost at times.

"Hey, miss me much?" Jason chuckled hugging her back. Spencer pulled away, leading the way inside toward the kitchen as she spoke, "Like crazy. It's been hell without you here! Mom and dad have been awful," she took a can of soda out of the refrigerator and handed it to him before taking one for herself, "since when do you ring the doorbell in your own house?" she asked finding it rather odd.

He laughed again at her erratic thoughts, before his voice became softer and distant as he answered, "…since it doesn't feel like home anymore…" changing the subject he quickly added, "I'm sorry they've been so harsh, I probably haven't been a big help with forcing them to practically disown me."

"No, you're living your life how _you _want to – you shouldn't be punished for that!" Spencer shook her head in disagreement, "hey, what do you think they'd do if I followed suit?" she mentioned lightly, trying her best to sound less serious than she actually was.

"Probably jump off a building," Jason snorted before really thinking about what she said, "…are you, thinking of venturing off the Hastings' prodigy map?"

Spencer took a deep breath, getting the courage to tell him, "yeah, I was thinking about it. I'm not really sure what I want to do, but I applied to NYU…what do you think they'd say about that?"

"Really? They'll probably just blow it off and tell you it's a waste of time, but NYU is a great school…it's expensive though, so you'll probably have to look into scholarships and financial aid –which you most likely won't be eligible for since you're a Hastings and they'll be expecting your parents to pay for it –which means that you're going to have to take out a lot of student loans. I don't want to scare you off, but just make sure you know what you're getting yourself into…it's more than just money though, it means feeling excluded from the lifestyle you've known your whole life," Jason warned her.

"I know, it's just a thought," Spencer told him brushing it off, "you don't have to stay with Aria you know, you can stay here. Mom and dad are visiting Melissa for the weekend again."

"I know, but it's for the best. I don't really like being in this house too much…" But Spencer could tell he was still hurt but didn't press the matter as he changed the subject, "hey, what time is the football game? Aren't we supposed to go and meet your friend there?"

Spencer looked at the clock, "yeah, the game starts at seven so we should get going soon if we want to find a parking spot."

_**Maybe I'm down low, maybe I'm up high  
Maybe I'm losing my own mind  
You know that there are no other two hearts closer than ours  
Maybe you'll follow, maybe you'll stay  
I'm praying you won't give yourself away  
You know that you are the only one I promise the stars  
You are**_

In all honesty, Spencer hated football, she hated most sports, but going to the homecoming football game was a tradition with her and her friends –something they had done since they were freshmen. Football at her school was almost as popular as cheering on the swim team, everyone showed up to cheer on their fellow sharks. All of Rosewood came, in a town so small something as minor as a football game became a major town event.

Spencer led Jason through the big gates enclosing the stadium, toward the bleachers where she found her friends in the crowded sea of people. Jason immediately parted ways with her as soon as he spotted Aria, taking her in his arms and greeting her with a lingering kiss.

As expected, when Spencer had first found out about her brother dating one of her best friends her sophomore year she was really uncomfortable about the whole situation. It was her best friend and her brother and the thought of them together made her want to gag for months, but now that it was two years later she was happy that they were still making it work. She knew it was hard on them being apart most of the time now, but she liked the thought that two people could still be so happy and in love even though they lived miles apart. Smiling at their affection, Spencer took a seat in between Toby and Emily who was busy giggling with her girlfriend, Maya.

Everyone seemed to be more excited than usual, like there was this undeniable high captivating the entire student body –something that Homecoming did to the school each year. Most of the time the different cliques of the school couldn't stand each other –making catty fights to prove their superiority, but Homecoming was different. Everyone put aside their differences for the school and cheered each other on. Even Hanna who hated sports more than Spencer was feeling giddier than usual, cheering on the sharks with much enthusiasm.

_**With your hand in mine we'll soar through the night  
And like the dozens of spaceships we'll dance with satellites  
We'll keep our eyes closed and we won't let go  
And with the millions of stars we'll will never be alone**_

But when the game had gotten to the second quarter Spencer was already bored. She forgot how much she really hated football. At least she could look forward to the bonfire her and her friends had every year after the Homecoming game –that was if the refs would quit stopping the damn clock.

Looking over at the brown-haired boy next to her, she noticed that he looked as though he was being tortured with boredom as well. She couldn't help but laugh a little at his vacant expression, causing him to look over at her.

"What?" he asked her.

"God, I thought no one hated football more than me, but I guess I was wrong," she laughed again.

"Yeah, I was never a big sports person," he admitted the corners of his lips breaking into a slight smile.

"I thought all guys liked football though! Isn't it like in your DNA or something?"

But he only shook his head, "Not when you hate almost everyone on the team you're supposed to be cheering for," he corrected her.

"True," she agreed playing with his fingers and weaving them with her own. She liked the way it felt to be connected with him in some way, even if it was just their hands, it felt as though she was whole when they touched –like she was missing a piece she didn't even know was gone until he showed up.

_**But would you risk some broken bones  
Just to call this place home this could be home**_

Finally the second-quarter had ended, leaving the Sharks ahead by two points. The cheerleaders did their average routine during half-time throwing in a couple of fancy flips and twirls before leaving the field and returning to their place in front of the stands on the field, encouraging the crowd to join in on the cheers. But the third-quarter proved to be just as mind-numbing for Spencer and Toby as the second –arguably more so.

Spencer had dazed off and she didn't even realize it until Toby bumped her knee with his causing her to awaken from her day-dreams. "At least someone is enjoying themselves…" he nodded toward Hanna, who was farthest away from them down the row of their friends in the stands.

She was standing up energetically, calling out nasty threats to other team looking utterly ridiculous –partly because she didn't know what she was cheering for and calling an interception a touch-down, and partly because she was screaming much louder than everyone around them.

"Oh my god…" Spencer clapped her hand to her face, looking away embarrassed for her best friend who hadn't even noticed the amount of stares she had gained from the crowd around them. Poor Caleb was stuck sitting next to her, trying his best to shield his face from the onlookers nearby.

Spencer couldn't help but laugh at the sight, "only Hanna…" she shook her head in disapproval but still let out a giggle.

"Maybe we should join her," Toby joked.

"Don't you dare…" Spencer threatened, even though she knew Toby would never want that kind of attention.

"And what if I did?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

She took a second to think about it before responding, "I wouldn't kiss you for a week," she raised her eyebrows back at him, still sure that he was bluffing.

"Yeah right, you would crack in an hour," he scoffed.

"What makes you so sure, Cavanaugh?"

"Well for one thing you can't keep your hands off me…" he nodded down toward their intertwined hands resting on his knee, "and for another, I would make you crack," he lowered his voice at the last part, making sure she was the only one who could hear.

Her eyes became wide quickly but she still managed to steal her hand away from his as if proving her point. After finding her voice she somehow managed to sound serious still "You sure you wanna test that theory?" She leaned in to whisper huskily in his ear, "I think you're the one with the problem keeping your hands to yourself and I'd hate to see you tortured for a week," she nodded down toward his hand that had somehow managed to find its way to her leg in a matter of a few seconds since she let go of it.

"If you insist…" he added under his breath, squeezing her knee tightly before standing up from his spot beside her in the stands and screaming, "Sharks suck!"

People around them began to turn around, searching for the traitor in the crowd, "Toby!" Spencer squealed. Part of her couldn't back down from a challenge, but for the most part she was hoping he was kidding about the whole thing –and now she was going to be embarrassed and had to prove that she could go without the taste of his lips for a week, something she was sure would prove to be impossible for her.

He only turned and looked down to smirk at her before continuing, "C'mon Warriors defense!"

"Toby!" she squealed again, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him to sit down beside her once more. But instead he grabbed her arms and pulled her to stand up beside him. Damn him and his strong biceps, Spencer cursed in her head.

People were definitely starting to pay attention to him and his obnoxious cheers for the other team now. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her close against him so she couldn't escape the embarrassment. Covering her face, she brought her hands up to shield her eyes from the bystanders' stares, she turned in his arm and pressed her face tightly against his chest. "Warriors kick some Shark-ass! C'mon!" he shouted.

_**Maybe I'm down low, maybe I'm up high  
Maybe I'm losing my own mind  
You know that there are no other two hearts closer than ours  
Maybe you'll follow, maybe you'll stay  
I'm praying you won't give yourself away  
You know that you are the only one I promise the stars  
You are**_

"Toby, stop please!" she cried looking up at him with pleading eyes.

His ice blue eyes bore into her begging mochas with so much intensity Spencer was sure she was going to crack, "Make me," he smirked, challenging her before yelling out, "Eat their Shark-bait, Warriors -!"

And suddenly, before Spencer could comprehend what she was doing she pulled his face closer to hers and kissed him urgently before he could finish his cheer. She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him even closer to her as he eased into the kiss, tangling his fingers into her chestnut locks. They let their stomachs twist and turn as their lips did the talking. For a moment they forgot they were surrounded by people who had no idea they had been dating on and off for almost a month now, they forgot that their friends were right next to them who had been almost completely clueless about their budding romance, and they forgot about their exes who were bound to be lost in the stands somewhere. Spencer forgot about her brother –who she shared everything with, well except this –who was standing right behind her. They were lost in the moment, intoxicated by the spark they felt every time their lips connected.

At last Toby pulled away, stroking her hair tenderly as she looked up at him. They hadn't realized it had been quiet right around them for awhile –Hanna had finally shut up with her stupid cheers and was staring at them like everyone else who was close by them. Finally coming back to reality, Spencer noticed this and looked around them with a deep crimson creeping up on her fair cheeks. Breaking the silence at last, Caleb started clapping slowly which only deepened Spencer's blush as she hid her face against Toby's chest once more. He couldn't help but laugh at her embarrassment as Emily who looked awe-struck beside them shouted "I knew it! I knew something was going on with you two!"

Feeling a kind squeeze on her shoulder, Spencer unburied her face from Toby's chest to meet Aria's encouraging eye. Jason, however, who was standing next to Aria, was looking rather sternly at Toby who didn't seem to notice. Spencer rolled her eyes at her brother's stupid need to protect her when she spotted a pair of round dark eyes from behind him. Sure enough Mona was looking at Spencer as though she was about to breath fire. Turning away quickly, Spencer finally sat down on the bleachers, pulling Toby down with her.

"I told you, you wouldn't be able to keep away," he chuckled at her.

"Oh, shut up," but Spencer couldn't help but giggle back and within a few minutes she found her fingers intertwined with his again as his other arm wrapped around her waist.

Spencer and Toby spent the rest of the game fighting off the smile on their faces as their friends continued to tease them relentlessly. Thankfully, during the last quarter their friends finally turned their attention back to the game, screaming in disappointment as the Sharks lost to the Warriors. Toby smiled at Spencer, giving her a knowing look but she couldn't help but roll her eyes at him and smile back.

_**I want you my only lover  
And I want you my only lover**_

After the game had ended, she followed Toby to his truck leaving Jason alone with Aria. It had only been a few hours since she last saw him when he dropped her off after school, but she already missed the alone time with Toby. She snuggled against him as he began making the journey from the school toward the hill to meet up with their friends. But the farther and farther they drove the closer she found herself moving toward him. He rubbed circles on her back with his free hand as she pressed her lips against his neck to breathe in his original musky scent. He let out an audible sigh as he turned quickly off course down an unpaved road, leading toward nothing more than an abandoned field where he quickly pulled over and put the truck in park.

She looked up at him questionably, ready to interrogate him when she saw the deep lust in his eyes and suddenly all her thoughts were lost. He turned so he was fully facing her and pulled her closer to him, kissing her passionately without warning. Though she was a little taken aback by his suddenness, her body quickly complied with his wishes as she kissed him back. His tongue quickly found its way into her mouth as she laced his fingers into his hair, gripping the chestnut strands tightly. Skimming the skin hidden underneath her blouse, Toby's hands found their way up her back and then around to her front before discarding of her shirt altogether. He finally moved his lips away from hers only to leave butterfly kisses along her chest and she sighed happily at the feeling of his lips against her skin. But as he began to bite down on her tender skin, her happy sighs turned into longing moans as he began leaving his mark all over her breasts. He brought his hands around to her back, trying to find the clasp of her bra so he could be free to leave more of his marks when a loud beeping sounded.

Ignoring it at first, Spencer encouraged him to continue on, taking his hands in hers as she led them around to her back. But then there was another beep…and another. Finally frustrated, Spencer dug her phone out of her purse, sighing as she read the texts. He wasn't ready to give up their alone time though, kissing her neck tenderly as she scrolled through her messages.

"…Toby, we should go. Hanna's texted me three times in the past minute…everyone else is going to wonder where we are too soon," she breathed heavily as his lips continued to massage her skin.

"Let them wonder…"he replied against her neck, "I miss getting to touch you like this," he brought his hands down her sides, brushing her bare skin.

"I miss this too…you have no idea –and it's only been a few hours since you drove me home… but we really should go…" she said, but her eyes were still closed in contentment.

"ughhh…I guess you're right…"Toby sighed, pulling back and kissing her lips lightly before grabbing her shirt off of the car floor and buttoning it for her. She smiled at his gentleness, hugging him close as he started the engine again and began to drive toward the hill.

_**Maybe I'm down low, maybe I'm up high  
Maybe I'm losing my own mind  
You know that there are no other two hearts closer than ours  
Maybe you'll follow, maybe you'll stay  
I'm praying you won't give yourself away  
You know that you are the only one I promise the stars**_

As they arrived, Caleb was busy building the fire up more as Hanna watched over him carefully, telling him to be careful not to burn himself even though he had done this a million times. Laughter emitted from the crowd as Jason finished telling one of his tall-tales of college life as Spencer and Toby joined them.

"It's about time you two showed up," Hanna huffed, annoyed that Caleb had banned her from being next to him while he tended to the fire.

"Yeah, well…we were…we were…oh never mind!" Spencer sighed, a heat penetrating her cheeks as she gave up looking for an excuse to cover up her and Toby's intense make out session only minutes prior. Toby couldn't help but chuckle at her, not even slightly embarrassed.

Hanna smiled at her best friend for a moment, finding it amusing how awkward Spencer was looking before dragging her away from Toby, "well, he's held you hostage long enough. We still have a lot to coordinate before tomorrow!" she told her frantically, pulling her arm and leading her toward Aria and Emily.

Toby stared at Spencer while she looked back at him helplessly, but he gave her an encouraging smile. He was about to go talk to Caleb when Jason appeared beside him. "So… you and my sister huh?"

"Yeah, I'm Toby by the way," he turned toward Jason, shaking his hand. While Toby had heard a lot about Jason from Spencer, he'd never actually met him. Jason had left the day after he nearly ruined his parents anniversary party in May, and Toby and Spencer hadn't really started to hang out until June.

Jason shook Toby's hand sternly, staring at him straight in the eyes as if searching for any bad intentions.

"Look, I don't know you, but Spencer hasn't made the best choices in who she dated in the past, and she's gotten burned many times by her ex..."

"I know, he's an asshole, but trust me I would never do any of the things he did to her," Toby tried his best to reassure him.

"Well then I guess it goes without saying that if you hurt her, I'll make sure that you'll end up in twice as much pain," Jason narrowed his eyes on him, and Toby began to question if all Hastings were so harsh on people they barely knew.

"I understand….but you don't have to worry. I could never hurt her," his eyes found hers across the roaring fire and he couldn't help but smile at how her skin seemed to glisten in the firelight.

_**Maybe I'm down low, maybe I'm up high  
Maybe I'm losing my own mind  
You know that there are no other two hearts closer than ours  
Maybe you'll follow, maybe you'll stay  
I'm praying you won't give yourself away  
You know that you are the only one I promise the stars**_

"She's amazing," Toby continued, "…one of the most amazing people I've ever met…" his voice had become soft and distant as he continued to talk, "…I don't know what I would do without her…I would rather see myself hurt and in pain than ever let anything touch her."

"Does she know?" Jason voice had become friendly again, but still serious as he cut through Toby's thoughts.

"…know what?"Toby looked at him, confused.

"Does she know that you're in love with her."

"…wha…wha…what?" Toby was shocked to say the least. He had just met this guy and suddenly he knew everything Toby was too afraid to say out loud. He was ready to deny it, ready to run, but something held him there. Finally his head sunk as he looked down at his feet, "no, she doesn't know….I don't want to scare her off. She's had a lot of trouble with letting people in, probably because she was rejected so much by everyone, that I'm afraid if I tell her she'll run away from me again," he didn't know why he was telling Jason these things. He had just met the guy after all, but somehow he was easy to talk to and Toby began to realize why Spencer and him were so close growing up.

"Yeah, she can be like that sometimes…honestly I can tell that she's different with you than she was with Andrew. I've only been home a few hours and already there's something drastically different about her, I noticed it right away when I saw her –she's smiling more and laughing, she so much more light-hearted than she had been in the past couple of months –it's good for her I can tell that she's crazy about you, which is why I mean it when I say not to blow it. She'll be a wreck and it's not a good time for her now, not when she's just starting to think about living her own life."

"Like I said before, I would never do anything to hurt her; I don't think I could if I wanted to…"

"Well that's the problem about love," Jason eyes found a pair of wide brown eyes in the distance, "sometimes you don't want to hurt her so much, you do everything you can to protect her –but it only ends up making things worse."

The words Jason had merely uttered stuck in Toby's head like there were glued in place there. He would never do anything that would put Spencer in harm, but what if protecting her wasn't enough. What if he was the one who she needed protection from? He had seen what love had done to his father, and all he could do was pray that this would be different –that him and Spencer were stronger and better. It had to be true –he was in too deep now to ever know for sure though, that much he knew to be true.

_**Maybe I'm down low, maybe I'm up high  
Maybe I'm losing my own mind  
You know that there are no other two hearts closer than ours  
Maybe you'll follow, maybe you'll stay  
I'm praying you won't give yourself away  
You know that you are the only one I promise the stars  
You are**_

* * *

**So..what did you guys think?**

**I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone who has been so dedicated to this story, it means the world to me to be able to share this with you guys! Thanks for reading and I will love you forever if you leave me a review :) **

**Next chapter...who's excited for a Spoby Homecoming? Predictions/Suggestions?**


	22. Dancing Shoes

**Hey guys! Can I just say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You guys are amazing! Every time i get an e-mail that one of my stories gets a new review or a follow or favorite it seriously makes my day! You guys are incredible and just for that I'm posting this chapter extremely early. It was inspired by the song "Dancing Shoes," by Green River Ordinance and beware this chapter is filled with crazy fluff because, well, I'm kind of a fluff-aholic. ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Dancing Shoes**

_**Put on your old black dress  
And grab your dancing shoes.  
Head out to the old bar Rose  
and we'll dance away our blues.**_

"Does this color lipstick make me look fat?"

"Hanna, what kind of question is that?" Aria accused, staring at the blonde-haired girl with her best are-you-serious-look.

But Hanna just threw her hands up in defense, "I swear to god the last time I wore a pink similar to this it looked like I gained five pounds!"

"Here, try this red, it'll look better with your dress anyways," Spencer handed her a tube of lipstick. The four best friends were busy laughing and dancing around in Hanna's bathroom while still frantically trying to get ready for the dance.

"Hey this is my song! Turn it up!" Emily exclaimed as the sweet melody of "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came blasting through the stereo.

"Emily, this can't be your song, you're not technically a single lady," Aria argued jokingly, "speaking of which, where is Maya? She totally could have gotten ready with us you know."

"She has this big family thing today, so it's easier for her to just get ready at her house," Emily explained, "And so what if I'm not single? It's _Beyonce_. And technically none of us are single anymore, _are we_ Spencer?" Emily gave her a knowing-look as all three girls turned to give Spencer their full attention.

But Spencer's full attention was on the mirror in front of her as she gave her cheeks a rosy pink glow with her favorite blush, trying her best to ignore their gawking. After a minute though she felt their stares burn a hole in the back of her head and she finally turned to face them, "What?"

"How come you never told us about you and Toby?!" Aria exclaimed, sounding stern but the smile on her face said otherwise.

"I…I don't know…it was just easier that way for a while I guess, if it was just him and me... And then there was Mona and Andrew we had to worry about their reactions, and it was just better if we just didn't draw too much attention to us," Spencer tried her best to explain, even though she knew her reasoning was poor.

"Wait, did you two start seeing each other when you were with Andrew and he was with Mona?!" Emily asked her eyes wide with shock.

"No!" Spencer exclaimed quickly, but then looked down a second later and added, "we did kiss though the day that Andrew and I broke up and he was still with Mona….and he sort of stayed the night –but nothing really happened I swear until we were both single!"

"Oh my gosh…so you two have been together, for what… a month now? And you never told us!" Aria stated, putting the pieces together.

"I know, I should have told you guys, I'm sorry, but things got pretty complicated, and we kind of _had_ to keep it a secret from my parents for a while, so we literally couldn't tell anyone…well except for Hanna because she kind of helped to get us together…" Spencer said.

"Wait you knew?!" Aria turned toward Hanna accusingly.

"Hey, don't look at me! I'm not the one under arrest here!" Hanna said defensively.

"I still can't believe that you two have been together for so long now without us knowing," Emily took a seat on the counter, trying to wrap her mind around the idea of two of her best friends dating, "I mean I knew Toby was in love with you since I came back from the summer, and well it was obvious he couldn't keep his eyes off of you. And then when it was just me and him he would always go on and on talking about you…no offense but it got kind of annoying after a while. I would talk to him about one thing -like homework, and he would just say something cute that you did."

_**Spent all week waiting  
Now my mind's on you.  
Hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.**_

"Wait, he did what?" Spencer asked rather surprised that Toby had feelings for her for so long.

"Well, yeah" Emily nodded at Spencer, "I mean even before this summer, I knew he really liked you, but now he's always grinning that goofy-grin of his all the time, and lately when I've been talking to him, he'd get distracted mid-sentence because he's looking at you…I guess I should have figured that you two were together, but I just thought that he was in love with you and was just too afraid to make his move."

Listening to everything Emily was saying was making Spencer feel a little light-headed and the world was starting to spin around her. She leaned against the edge of the counter in an attempt to stabilize her wobbly body and thoughts.

It couldn't be true, could it? Toby wasn't in love with her, that wasn't impossible. They only had been dating for a month now, and it had only been official for a week!

"Wait…do you love him?" Hanna asked Spencer seriously, her eyes studying Spencer's face for any indications.

"I…I…I don't know," Spencer answered honestly, and suddenly she was having a hard time steadying her breathing and her heart was beating at what felt like a million times per second.

Thankfully though, before any of her friends could interrogate her further, Aria looked at her phone and exclaimed, "Oh my god… we only have an hour left to get ready!"

And just like that, the girls were rushing to finish their hair and makeup before their dates would arrive. But as Spencer finished curling her hair, something about what Emily had said stuck in her brain. What if Toby really was in love with her? But what if she didn't love him back…..and even worse, what if she did?

Only an hour later the girls were finally ready and just finished putting on the last touches of their looks when Hanna's mom appeared in the bathroom door.

"You guys all look so beautiful!" she cooed, taking a glance at each of their outfits for the night. Hanna was dazzling in a one-shouldered short and gold sparkly dress while Emily was stunning in a tight purple dress that cut off right before her knee and looked amazing on her skin-tone. Aria, who liked to be slightly more daring with her looks, chose a black strapless dress with blue accents and feathers on it. And then there was Spencer, she was going for a vintage vibe with her hair curled on one shoulder, and her light pink strapless dress that showed off her miles of legs. Mrs. Marin walked around hugging each of the girls and then announced, "Toby and Caleb are downstairs waiting and it looks like Jason and Maya just pulled up!" The girls just looked at each other once and then were practically running down the stairs to meet their dates.

_**I'm so tired of the nine to five weighing down on my soul  
Let's get out all of this uptown life and head out on the country road.  
Forget about all the things that we can't make right  
Put on a little Emmylou, and we'll dance into the night.**_

As soon as Toby saw Spencer, he had to focus to keep his knees from buckling under him. He was sure she was the most striking sight he had ever seen. "Hey," she greeted him.

If he could respond he would, but for the moment all thoughts were lost in his brain. As soon as she reached him, his arms were around her waist, but he kept her at a distance so his eyes could appreciate the beauty before him as he looked her up and down. She blushed slightly as he checked her out, but pulled him closer in a tight hug. "You look so beautiful," he whispered in her ear, and he even sounded a little out of breathe.

"Thank you baby, I would kiss you right now, but Hanna would kill me if I ruined my makeup," she smiled up at him.

He laughed slightly and his famous toothless grin escaped, "well, what if I just kiss you then?" he taunted. He placed several light kisses on her each of her cheeks, her forehead and her nose, leaving Spencer giggling. That was until Hanna showed up besides them and started hitting Toby's arm with her clutch, "Stop you two! You can't ruin your makeup! Do you even know how long it took for me to put on that beautiful face for you, Toby?! Just appreciate it from afar until at least pictures are over okay? You two can keep it in your pants until then _at least_!"

Toby let go of Spencer after Hanna stopped beating him and just rolled his eyes at the blonde. "I don't know, it can be pretty tough –especially when this one over here can't keep her hands to herself. She's a feisty one you know," he wrapped his arm around Spencer's waist once more, holding her against him.

"Toby!" Spencer cried, as she pushed him back, but was laughing a little nonetheless at Hanna's annoyed expression.

"Okay, ewwww! I _so_ did not need to know that!" Hanna cried, "Just follow me, you two stand there, next to Emily and Maya, yeah like that."

"Spencer, should we wait for your parents to get here? They want to take pictures too, right?" Mrs. Montgomery asked.

"Oh, um… no. They're actually out of town..." she explained. But what she didn't say was that they once again chose Melissa over Spencer. Instead of wanting to be there like all of her friends parents, hers would much rather go on a last minute trip instead, not caring that this was her last Homecoming dance or wanting pictures to remember the moment.

"I'll make sure to take some extra pictures then and send it to them," Mrs. Montgomery offered.

"Thanks, I'm sure they'll appreciate that," Spencer said, even though she was sure they could care less.

"Okay, now everyone smile!" and on the count of three, flashes filled the room and it felt as though their parents had somehow transformed into paparazzi.

They spent at least an hour taking pictures in every imaginable combination. One with the entire group, one with each individual couple, one with just the girls, one with just the boys, one with the four best friends, and then some.

Finally they're cheeks were left aching from having to smile for so long and they were free from the crazy camera moms to go to the dance and soon enough Spencer found herself riding happily beside Toby in her favorite rusty old truck. She couldn't keep the smile off her face while riding shotgun beside him.

_**Singing, hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.  
Hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.  
All we need is time, honey.  
All we need is time.**_

"What?" Toby asked, grinning back at her, "is something funny?"

"No," she laughed lightly shaking her head, "it's just that I've never seen you in a suit before."

"Oh, and is seeing me wear one funny to you?"

"No, I was thinking how good you look in it actually," she grinned at him. He simply shook his head, trying to play off the compliment but really he was beaming and she knew it.

As they entered the school, the beat of the music was already pounding as groups of teenagers pressed their sweaty bodies up against each other trying to keep up with the rapid tempo. The lights were dark leaving only the spotlight of the DJ stand to light up the school's gymnasium.

"You sure you want to do this?" Toby asked her in the doorway, looking rather hesitant.

"Toby, we have to! It's our senior year!" Spencer insisted, grabbing his hand and slowly leading him inside.

"I don't know…I've never done this before…" Toby admitted shyly as he kept looking back at the exit as if he was memorizing an escape route.

"What? You've never been to a school dance before?" But he timidly shook his head, no.

She took a few steps closer to him, taking his other hand in hers and squeezing it encouragingly, "Then we have to stay. It's a part of the whole high school experience. You wouldn't want to miss out would you?"

"I don't know…There are plenty of experiences I wouldn't mind missing out on."

"Trust me, you'll have fun, and I'll be with you the whole time. You don't have to dance if you don't want to, you can just stand there and I'll dance around you. And we don't even have to stay the whole time! If you're miserable in an hour, we'll leave I swear!" she insisted, pleased that Toby was starting to look less hesitant now.

"Please Toby, for me?" she pleaded.

And just like that he knew he was a goner. He couldn't say no to her if he wanted to, it was like there was something inside of him that wanted to do anything and everything to make her happy.

"Okay," he agreed, "but you promise, one hour?"

"I promise!" she kissed his cheek and then began dragging him toward the dance floor where she found their friends already dancing.

For a while the DJ played only fast songs that Spencer recognized from the radio, but nothing that she would normally listen to. Still she was having fun moving her hips to the melody. She kept her promise and mostly danced around Toby as he stood there and tapped his foot to the beat. However that wasn't enough for her, quickly she took his hands in hers and led them to her hips. He held her there as she moved her body up and down, causing his eyes to nearly pop out of his sockets. The only thoughts that were going through his head was how lucky he was to finally be able to call her his own and how even though they went through so much to get to this point, it was all worth it.

_**Sit on the front porch, kick off your shoes.  
We don't need nowhere to go, we don't need a tune.  
In a world that gets lost in making plans,  
just be my woman, yeah, and I will be your man.**_

After a few fast songs, the DJ finally slowed things down for moment and played a soft ballad. Spencer, who was nearly out of breath at this point, turned to face Toby and rested her hands around his neck.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, baby?" He asked her, kissing her forehead.

"Only about a hundred times," she joked.

"Let's make that one-hundred and one," he stated kissing her lips lightly.

Before she could thank him again, there was a loud scream from behind them. Everyone turned, shocked at the loud disturbance.

"What is your problem?!" Andrew screamed at what looked to be a chaperone. "No! I will not calm down! Do you know who I am?! Do you even know who my parents are?! Of course not or else you wouldn't be this inconsiderate!" he screamed again throwing empty cups around him that were resting on a table.

Seconds later the principal appeared beside them, looking as if he too was trying to calm Andrew down. "No, I'm not drunk! That is absurd!" he shouted, but was his voice was starting to slur at the last part. And then a police officer who usually stood guard during dances came toward them, he took one look at Andrew whose face was beat red and had eyes to match, and took him outside. But Andrew wasn't going to leave without a fight, and sure enough the police officer had to handcuff him in order to drag him out.

"Oh my god…" Spencer turned toward Toby, shocked at what she just witnessed. Toby just stood there, taken aback as well.

"I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore," she stated, still staring at the door her ex-boyfriend had vanished behind, "he would throw a fit every homecoming over something stupid. He was never drunk then though, but he still would yell at the DJ for not playing the song he wanted them to or something else," she explained.

Toby nodded in understanding, "you should never have to put up with someone like that," he stated, almost protectively. Even though she was his now, it was as though he still felt the need to keep her safe from her ex and his crazy antics.

"I know," she agreed, "that's why I'm so glad I have you." She reached up and touched her lips to his for the briefest second before saying, "I don't want to think about him anymore though. I just want to dance with you."

And just like that, Toby and Spencer were swaying back and forth as the song came to an end. They continued to dance as the next song began to play, even though it was much faster with more pop flavor. But still they simply shuffled their feet a little as they stared deep into each other's eyes as though they were lost completely in another world. He held her tightly on her waist, and she did the same around his neck, never wanting to let go of one another. Songs began and ended, many of them sounding the same, but they hardly noticed. Every once in a while Toby would quietly sing along to some of the songs he recognized as if he was serenading her, and she couldn't help but smile and memorize the way his lips took shape of the lyrics.

The question her friends had asked her earlier continued to ring through her head, though. Honestly, she wasn't quite sure what love even was. She wasn't sure of a lot of things in her life. She wasn't sure of her future, or her family. But one thing she knew for certain was that she had never been happier in her life than she was in that moment.

"Your hour's been over for some time now…" Spencer observed quietly, speaking for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Mmmhhhhhmmmmm… I could easily stay here forever," he answered easily and she couldn't have been happier.

She moved closer to him, resting her head on his chest, he kissed the top of her head but continued to sway them both to some made-up melody that didn't go along with the song the DJ was playing.

_**All we need is time.  
All we need is time.  
Hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.  
Hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.**_

"They've been like that almost the entire time," Aria observed, looking over at Spencer and Toby.

"Don't disturb them, it's too cute," Emily said, "I totally knew they were in love by the way. I bet she even realizes it tonight -just look at the way she's looking up at him like that! It's so obvious!"

"Yeah, I've never seen her happier," Jason admitted, coming up behind Aria and wrapping his arms around his girlfriend's waist.

More and more songs continued to blast through the giant speakers surrounding the gym, but the pair was still oblivious to the crowds of teenagers all around them. It wasn't until the music stopped playing and giant gymnasium started to empty when they came back down to the real world.

He took her hand and led her outside toward his truck where they sat in silent contentment until they arrived at her house. The whole time Spencer was busy pondering her feels for him, still wondering how she would ever know for sure.

"Hey, I want to show you something," she said as he put the truck in park.

"Okay," he stepped out of the truck and she took his hand leading him around the rather large house toward her backyard. She led him past the pool which was now closed for the winter, past the large barn which acted as a guest house, she led him all the way down a narrow path he was sure he had never seen before even though he had been at her house a million times. Not too far down the path a gothic looking wrought-iron gate appeared that she pushed opened. It creaked slightly and looked a little rusted, probably from lack of use, but inside the gate stood a whole other world.

Ivory covered most of the gates which looked as though they stretched for miles. A small stone pathway led toward a small fountain that had been turned off and even though it was late October, beautiful white, red and pink flowers still bloomed all around them. And the trees that surrounded them added to the majestic feel as they looked as though they were on fire as they started to lose their leaves. Something about the space left an indescribable magical feel that Toby just couldn't fathom into words.

"This is amazing," Toby looked around him, still trying to take in the setting.

_**Singing, hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.  
Hold my loving arms, my loving arms are for you.**_

"This is my favorite place in the world," she admitted, "My parents forget it's here for the most part. Years ago they had some fancy landscaper come in and do all this so they could throw small parties back here, but like usual they never got around to actually throwing the parties," she looked around too, remembering her childhood, "I used to come out here whenever Melissa had it out for me, it was like my own little place to escape to where I could just read and forget about the rest of the world. And then me and Jason used to play hide-and-go-seek out here all the time -this place has the best hiding spots," she chuckled lightly, not really finding it funny, but more so in remembrance.

"Who won?" Toby looked at her, but his eyes were still lost in this lost world she had taken him to.

"Me, of course! I _never_ lose!" she exclaimed.

"Hmm… well you just so happen to be looking at the king of hide-and-go-seek," he stated cockily.

"Oh, are you so sure about that?"

"Absolutely."

"It's on," she challenged, "you're seeking."

"That's not fair! You know all of the good hiding spots!" he declared.

"Well I guess you're not really that good then," she scoffed.

"Fine," he huffed.

"Good," she stated as she began walking closer to him. She took his hands in hers and raised them over his eyes, then she brought her lips up to his ears as she whispered, "now close your eyes, and count to thirty….I'll be waiting," he felt her lips press against his neck teasingly and then she disappeared altogether. He started counting slowly in his head, but when he got to ten he was starting to get impatient and by the time he got to twenty he was already calling out, "ready or not, here I come!"

He looked behind the fountain, and behind some bushes, but it was getting hard to see in the dark. Soon though he heard some rustling from behind a tree nearby, he walked toward it casually, now just playing as though he was still looking for her behind other random trees. He sneaked up behind the tree she was at and very carefully, he tiptoed behind her. He kissed her neck and spun her around in his arms, taking her by surprise. And at first she was surprised, but then she saw the way he was looking at her. It wasn't just lust, even though there was a little bit of that in there, it was a look that she couldn't really describe. It was partially lust, partially adoration, and partially pure happiness. It reminded her of what she was trying to describe to herself all day, about the way she felt about him. Before she could distinguish it, his lips met hers and she was pressed firmly against the tree.

The kiss wasn't rushed, it was tender and sweet and soft, yet somehow it still left her breathless. As soon as he pulled away, her jumbled thoughts seemed to make sense. She locked eyes with his sweet baby blues and brushed her thumb along his jaw line.

"Toby, I think… I think I love you," she stared at him, and it was one of those moments where she didn't realize it was true until she said it out loud. A smile captured her entire face as she said with slightly more confidence, "I'm in love with you."

His baby blue lit up to an icy-electric as he beamed down at her, "I love you too, baby…. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to tell you that," he leaned down and kissed her long and hard, running his hands all over her body as though he wanted to prove this fact.

They stayed out there for a long time, until the chilly October night got the best of them and they finally decided to head inside.

Hand in hand, she led him up the stairs to her room where they proclaimed their love for each other over and over again, finally fully aware of the true depth of their feelings for one another and loving the way it sounded when it escaped their lips.

_**Put on your old black dress  
And grab your dancing shoes.  
Head out to the old bar Rose  
and we'll dance away our blues**_

* * *

**Thank you again for being such great dedicated readers! Please feel free to tell me your thoughts on this chapter, i love to hear from you guys :)  
Also feel free to PM me or message me on tumblr (my url is waiting-for-it-to-rain) any of your thoughts or suggestions or if you just want to chat :)  
**

**I feel really bad, but i have to admit the next chapter is going to be a while. I'm getting a new laptop for college (yay!) but that means i have to transfer all my files and my current laptop is going to be away from me until at least saturday, and Ch.23 isn't even half-way done yet, even though i've been working really hard to get as much of it done as possible, time just simply isn't on my side. So it looks like it might be up at the earliest early next week. I'm sorry, but it's not my fault. **

**Psssttt...on an entirely different note, who's excited for the Toby/Caleb bromance in tomorrow...err i mean tonight's episode of PLL? I don't know about you guys but I've been waiting for this for so long :D**


	23. One Thing

**Hey guys! I'm an so so so sorry that this update took longer than expected, but if i tell you that it's my birthday today will you forgive me? Haha but anyways, this chapter is a little shorter than the past few, but it's full of fluff so I really hope you guys enjoy it. It was inspired by the song "One Thing" by Finger Eleven...and maybe as a birthday present you guys could leave me a 100% honest review? haha thanks again for reading and being so dedicated to reading this, it encourages me so much and just makes me want to write so much more :) Anywayysss, ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 23: One Thing**

_**Restless tonight cause I wasted the light  
Between both these times I drew a really thin line  
It's nothing I plannedand not that I can  
But you should be mine  
Across that line**_

October days passed with an eerie sense of blissful ease as November came into the picture. It had been a few weeks since Spencer and Toby had proclaimed their love for each other, and now they really had fallen too deep to ever back out. For the most part everything was perfect, but almost _too _perfect for Spencer's taste, it felt as though karma would come back and leaving an exploding bomb on her doorstep any second. But until that fateful day, Spencer was determined to soak up every last second of happiness she could.

Toby had gotten a new job as a mechanic at his uncle's shop and was working hard to save up any extra cash he could. Between his new job and Spencer's strict parents, they found it hard to squeeze in much time together, but every spare second they could find, they spent it together. However it had been a while since they had been on a real date, so Spencer was thrilled when Toby asked if she wanted to go to the town's Founder's Festival with him.

Every year, the citizens of Rosewood would put on an extravagant Carnival in the middle of November with fortune tellers, funhouses, a few traditional rides and lots and lots of games. It was one of Spencer's favorite traditions the town had, and the fact that she was going to share it with Toby made it that much better.

She squeezed his hand lightly as they meandered through the streets in the middle of town, looking at what each booth had to offer.

"I think my parents are starting to like you," she said as they continued to stroll leisurely.

"I don't know…" he hesitated.

"No, really, when you came over for dinner this week they only said one thing about Andrew. That's such a big improvement! And then after you left they asked what plans you had for your future. In the world of Hastings you're almost in!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah, I guess," but he didn't sound quite as convinced. He hesitated before adding, "…What did you tell them… about my future?"

"Just that you weren't sure yet," she replied simply before adding, "Have you been thinking…about next year?"

He ran a hand through his hair knowing what was coming, "No, not really…"

"Have you been looking at colleges?" she asked, hopeful.

"No, I'm not going to college, Spencer, I told you," he stated, his voice sounded stressed.

She had stopped walking so he was forced to look at her and see how serious she was, "Why not? You could do so much with your life, Toby!" she insisted.

"I'm just not, okay?" his voice suddenly becoming harsh and Spencer winced slightly. His fingers ran through his hair once more and he sighed heavily before lowering his voice, "look I'm sorry Spence, but I'd just rather not talk about it."

She stood there, silent for a second just staring up at him, before she exhaled deeply and said, "Okay."

_**If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something  
**_

They continued walking, his hand still in hers, but Spencer hated what had just erupted between the two of them. All she wanted was for him to see himself the way she did. He had so much potential and was such an amazing person. She knew that with the right education he would do incredible things in the world. They walked in silence for a while, going nowhere in particular, letting children's laughter and the hustle and bustle of crowds passing them by fill their silence.

"I found out that I won't hear from NYU until January at the earliest," she mentioned, finally breaking their peace.

"That's a long time to wait," he said, his voice soft, "have you told your parents yet?"

"No, not yet, I don't want to tell them until I hear back. What's the point of starting World War Three if I don't even get in?"

"You'll get in, they'd be crazy not to have you," he smiled at her, finally making her feel at ease again.

She hugged his side and he wrapped an arm around her waist.

_**I promise I might not walk on by  
Maybe next time but not this time  
**__**Even though I know**__**  
I don't want to know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds**_

"Hey, do you want to play a game?" he asked casually, motioning toward the booths around them.

Her eyes lit up at the thought of a competition, "Absolutely. What were you thinking, Cavanaugh?" her game face suddenly on.

"What about that one?" he pointed toward the game across from them randomly. Spencer studied the booth for a second. It looked easy enough, all you had to do was knock over a pyramid of glass bottles with a baseball.

"You're on. But let's make this interesting…" she taunted.

He narrowed his eyes on hers, challenging her, "What were you thinking?"

"If I win then you have to take your shirt off for the rest of the night," she declared, her eyes still narrowed in on his.

"Spencer, it's freezing out," he argued. It may not have been snowing yet, but there was definitely a chill in the air –everyone was snuggled up in coats and scarves and gloves.

She warped her arms around his waist and dragged her hand where his chiseled abs were hiding underneath his coat. "It's a good thing you have me to keep you warm then," she looked up at him, becoming more serious as he gulped, "unless you're scared you might lose…"

"Of course not!" he scoffed.

"We'll see…" she said as she starting pulling his hand toward the booth. He caught her from behind though before she could even move two feet and held her in place by her waist. "You forgot something baby," he whispered in her ear sweetly, but then darkly added, "If I win, you have to do whatever I say for the rest of the night."

Now she was the one with wide eyes and he was the one pulling her toward the booth.

_**If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something**_

Spencer had no idea what he had up his sleeve, but she was not willing to risk her freedom for the rest of the night. Determined she took the baseballs from the guy running the booth and studied her target carefully, searching for the best place to aim. Ultimately she narrowed in on the middle bottle and brought her arm back to gain some momentum. She threw her arm forward with as much power as she could manage and knocked off the top three bottles rather successfully. Proud of her first try, she threw her second ball with just as much force, but somehow her aim was off this time and it only knocked over the farthest left bottle. She had one more chance to prove herself. Taking a deep breath, her adrenaline was racing and she was starting to shake. She had to calm down, she told herself to focus –there was only five bottles left and she had a good shot of winning still. She brought her arm back one more time and sent the baseball whooshing through the air. With a clink and a clack, all but one milk bottle fell over in surrender.

She stared at the place where all but one bottle keeled over, a huge grin spreading throughout her face. "Toby I did it!" she screamed, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him proudly. He chuckled at her enthusiasm, and even though this was supposed to be a competition, he hugged her tight and spun her around in a circle, thrilled for her success. He loved how excited she got over the littlest of things.

"Try to beat that!" she cried as he set her down.

"I don't know… You set a pretty high standard…" he muttered.

"Are you giving up already? Honestly I wouldn't blame you… I mean, I did set a pretty high standard," she brushed off her shoulders as she praised herself. "So, do you want me to collect my prize now then?" she said, starting to undo the buttons on his jacket.

"Alright, alright…." He said, brushing her off as he stepped up to the booth as the carnival worker finished setting up the game again and handed him the first ball to throw, "but don't say I didn't warn you…"

But Spencer wasn't aware of what he was saying really, she was still on her adrenaline rush from being so sure she would win –something only a Hastings would understand.

_**Even though I know  
I don't want to know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds**_

Toby took one look at the bottles stacked up and threw the ball without a second thought, causing all the bottles to knock down at once on his first try. Spencer stood there, awe-struck at what had just happened.

"Wha…wha….Whatttt?!" stammered Spencer, who was currently finding it hard to form words.

"So, should I claim my prize now or later?" he mocked her. She just pointed to the booth where no bottles lay upright, "How did you do that?" she finally asked.

"I don't know, practice maybe. I mean I was never on a baseball team, but when I was little I didn't have a lot of toys to play with so I would just set up cans in my garage and throw things at it to knock them all down," he explained.

"Why did you never tell me!" she smacked his arm and he couldn't help but laugh at her irritation.

"I tried to warn you!" he insisted, "Now pay up baby girl."

"Fine, what do my servant duties include?" she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, still upset at her loss.

"All things dirty I can assure you that," and she slapped his arm again, "But I think I'll save that for later. For now we're going on the Ferris Wheel," he decided taking her hand and dragging her toward the tall ride.

_**Even though I know  
I don't want to know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds**_

"Toby…I don't know about this…I sort of hate heights…"she whimpered as the line for the ride started moving closer and closer.

"Anything I said, remember?" he told her but placed his arm around her shoulders and whispered sweetly in her ear so she was the only one who could hear, "Trust me sweetheart, you'll be fine. I'll be right here to protect you. Besides, I love you too much to let anything happen to you."

"Right," she nodded as he kissed her cheek and pulled her beside him to help her get on the ride, her stomach turning now at his kind words rather than her fears. She sat across from him in the cramped car trying to feign confidence the best she could, but as the ride started to move slowly she yelped while covering her eyes.

He quickly jumped up and sat next to her, holding her in his arms. She snuggled closer to him, hiding her face against his chest as the ride continued moving higher and higher. He smoothed her hair down in an attempt to calm her anxious nerves and shushed her "shhhhh, it's okay baby, I'm here," he mumbled against her, "I'm right here."

_**If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something**_

And then the ride suddenly came to a stop, but Spencer still refused to see what was around them. "Spencer, do you trust me?" he whispered.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Look out here, it's beautiful," he encouraged. But she just shook her head so he added, "Remember you have to do whatever I say."

This time she nodded, and gathering all the courage she could muster she lifted her head from its hiding place against Toby's chest and let her eyes begin to peak open. She soon realized that their car was the lucky one to be chosen to sit at the top. At first she wanted nothing more than to go back to her safe place but she forced her eyes to do as Toby said and look at the view around her. And he was right, it really was beautiful. She swore she could see all of Rosewood from up there, the small town's lights shining almost as bright as the stars above them.

"Wow…" she breathed, "it's amazing…"

They sat up there for a good few minutes at the very top of the Ferris Wheel admiring the view around them. Toby noticed Spencer start to shiver though and realized how thin her sweater was.

"Are you cold baby?" he asked her quietly, quickly shrugging off his jacket before she could even answer and placing it around her delicate frame. She nuzzled against it, smelling his sweet smell that was captured on it. But as he was adjusting it on her shoulders she noticed a large purple bruise on his arm as his shirt-sleeve rid up.

"What's this?" she asked quickly, taking his arm and moving his sleeve up to reveal a much larger nastier looking bruise than she was expecting. It was such a dark shade of purple and she was sure it was swelled up and looked as though it stung badly even though it appeared to be a few days old. She looked up at him concerned but he just brushed it off, pulling his sleeve down once more to cover it up, "It's nothing," he insisted. The Ferris Wheel was beginning to move once more and their car was slowly being lowered to the bottom.

"It looks pretty bad Toby," she insisted, "maybe you should see a doctor."

"No, it's fine," he said with slightly more resilience, "Now, You're still under my command for three more hours, remember? And I'm in desperate need of your service…" he added much less serious. Their car was almost to the bottom now, and Spencer's stomach was starting to feel queasy once more with the movement of the ride. She did her best to sit steady though, trying to study his suddenly changed expression.

She studied his face for a moment, looking for any reason why he would cover this up. He told her everything –even if he would have gotten in a fight, she would surely know about it, right? So why was he being so cryptic now, not even bothering to offer an excuse? Her instincts told her that it must be bad, but she just wasn't quite sure _how _bad it was yet. Knowing that she couldn't force it out of him, she sighed heavily and gave in, "Fine, what do you want me to do next?"

He stepped off out of the swinging car and helped her out too before pointing over his shoulder, "Merry-Go-Round," he stated simply, dragging her with him. He helped her up on a horse on the Merry-Go-Round, but instead of sitting on one himself, he stood next to her, like he was the parent of a toddler helping her to hold on. She laughed as he made silly faces at her while the ride started, and even more so when he lost his balance and almost fell over. When the ride ended they rode it again though, but this time they sat on a bench as the ride spun around and around while they snuck in a few sweet kisses.

Ultimately, Spencer decided not to bring up Toby's future again or the more pressing matter of the giant bruise on his arm because she knew he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Instead, she chose to have fun with her boyfriend and pretend they both lived normal lives for one night, without the pressure of their parents or their pending future. It was a long hard road getting to this place with him, but in the end he found her and brought out the best in her and she couldn't have been happier.

_**If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something**_

* * *

**So... What did you think? Honestly, I'm still uncertain about this chapter so any feedback would be so much appreciated :)**

**I know I say this all too often, but you guys are the best. **

**Now, next week for pretty little liars...umm yeah, Spencer's body floating in a lake? Mona Confessing for Wildens Death...WHAT?! yeah. My reaction right there.**

**As for the next chapter, you can look forward to a very Hastings Thanksgiving ;)**


	24. Old Friend

**Hey guys! So I don't know what it is about Tuesdays, but I just so happen to finish my chapters that day, it must be a PLL day or something ;) Anyways, this chapter was inspired by the song "Old Friend" by Sea Wolf, I hope you like it :)**

* * *

**Chapter 24: Old Friend**

_**Old friend come back home  
even though you noalways were alone  
you had to push against the fates  
Just to make it  
Make it through the gate**_

"Spencer, just stop! You're doing it all wrong. Like usual, I have to do your job and mine," huffed an exasperated Melissa Hastings. She grabbed the cloth napkin that Spencer was folding out of her hands and from the looks of it, was folding it the same exact way Spencer had been exactly three-seconds ago. "It's supposed to look like this. See the difference?"

"Yeah, totally," Spencer lied and did her best to hide her giggle as Jason rolled his eyes, standing behind Melissa.

"Don't be rude!" Melissa scolded them both, "The party is in less than three hours and there's still so much to do! Do you even know how important Thanksgiving dinner is for mom and dad? They're clients expect nothing less than the best and you two better not ruin it."

Just like every other year on Thanksgiving, Melissa was stressing out about nothing. And just like every other year, she was turning into a scary Loch Ness Monster that nobody else seemed to see except for Spencer and Jason.

"Okay, why don't you finish doing the napkins and Spencer and I will just get out of your hair?" Jason suggested, hopeful.

"Fine, you're just going to mess up anything else that I tell you do anyways," she muttered, shooing them off.

Before Melissa could change her mind, Spencer and Jason were racing up the stairs, like they were little kids again.

Spencer was kind of surprised when she found out that Jason was actually coming home for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't have been happier to have her ally back. They raced all the way up the stairs to Spencer's room, where they had been hanging out mostly since Jason came home due to the depressing emptiness of his room ever since he had moved out. Now all that was left was a bed and empty dresser drawers. As much as they both hated being in the house, the siblings were both grateful for a reunion and wanted to spend as much time together until they were separated once more.

_**But now we're getting older and we're growing up  
So now less action in the water and we know enough  
Stood upon the roof top on a night so clear  
That the lights from the city just disappeared**_

Spencer flopped down on her bed and picked up the remote on her night stand, starting to channel surf while Jason took his place on her red chair by the window, staring out it with an empty look on his face. Nothing really capturing her attention on the TV though so she turned toward her brother, wondering what it was that he was thinking about. Finally, she took her guess, "Jason, why did you come home?"

He sighed heavily, still looking out the window as he answered vaguely, "It's complicated…"

"Does it have to do with mom and dad? I figured you wouldn't want to come home for the holidays after how they've treated you…but are they getting better?"

"Not exactly," he turned so she could finally see the sad expression on his face, "mom did call me though. It was weird at first…she said that she was still really disappointed in me and my decisions to go against our family name and not go into a field worthwhile... but she also said that she needed me here and she said everyone coming to Thanksgiving dinner would be expecting me and I'd be letting down the family even more if I didn't come."

"So she guilt-tripped you into coming? That's so like them…" Spencer shook her head in disapproval. She couldn't wait to be free from the Hastings and their ridiculous ways of life. Their mother could care less if her children were alright or what they wanted, she only cared that everything looked perfect.

"There's more though," Jason went on, "believe me I wouldn't have fell for that if that was all she said…she also said that she missed me, it was quick and she mumbled it under her breath, but it sounded like she actually cared for once. I knew that I had to come home just to see if it was true. But maybe they're starting to come around? I mean you got them to come around to Toby, so who knows? I honestly thought they would never change their mind on anything, but after hearing about what happened with you and Toby and them, I'm starting to think that anything's possible…"

She couldn't help but smile at her brother's hope and how he found it in her, but she was still hesitant as she added, "I wouldn't say that they've come around to me and Toby… they've only just stopped trying to keep us apart."

_**I know you don't believe me  
When I believe in you  
I know it could get much easier  
If you want it to**_

"That's still something," Jason said, "is he still coming tonight?"

"Yeah, his family isn't really big on holidays so I figured he should experience an over-the-top Thanksgiving at least once," Spencer explained, "Is Aria coming?"

"No…she has plans with her family…"he looked down at his feet, avoiding her eye contact and Spencer could tell something was up.

"I'm surprised you two haven't been inseparable since you came home. Have you seen her at all?"

"Yeah, once…but she's really busy with her family and school and looking at colleges for next year," Jason brushed it off, but Spencer could tell that there was more to the story.

Before she could question him further a loud shriek came from downstairs, "SPENCER, JASON… GET YOUR LAZY ASSES DOWN HERE AND HELP!"

"Damn, just when I thought I was free from the wrath of Melissa Hastings," Jason joked as he got up and followed Spencer as they reluctantly made their way back down stairs to finish getting ready for the party that night.

Melissa had the two of them hard at work until an hour before the guest were due to arrive, shooing them off quickly to get ready. Spencer were adding the final touches of her look, adjusting her black dress so it would lay right on her shoulders and applied a dab of clear lip gloss when there was a small knock on her bedroom door.

Worried that it might be Melissa again –or worse her parents –she ignored it at first, pretending she didn't hear anything as she slipped on her heels. But then a charming voice came from the other side of the door, calling her name and making her heart flutter as a result.

"Spencer, it's me," Toby said. And Spencer quickly sprang up from the bed and opened the door, eager to greet him.

"Hey," Spencer breathed, taking in his appearance, he always looked so good whenever he dressed up, even if he was still wearing jeans and a nice button down shirt.

_**Old friend come to me  
Everything I was, I used to be  
I went north and I went east  
Follow in the footsteps of some beautiful beast**_

She was actually kind of shocked see him there so early. She had invited him in hopes of having another ally at a party full of overdressed and overly-pompous guests, but she wasn't expecting him to arrive until much later in the evening. Spencer was about to question him as to why he wasn't spending time with his family like he planned, but then she saw the look in his eyes. It was a mix of hurt and disappointment, and yet there was an ounce of hope there that was growing stronger the longer she was looking into his turquoise seas.

"Hey yourself," Toby said, equally taken aback by her appearance as she was his. Like every time they met, his hands instantly found their way to her waist, hoping that holding on to her would make him stronger –better. She wrapped her arms around him too and pulled him in tightly for a hug. They stay like that for a little while, just holding on to each other.

Reluctantly though, Spencer pulled back just a little, so they could still be in the comfort of each other's arms but so she could look into his beautiful ice blue eyes where he kept all his secrets hidden. Even though she was afraid it would break their moment they were having, she had to know what had happened, because something definitely did.

"Toby…I thought you weren't supposed to be here until eight?" she said, hoping he would explain easily.

He took a deep breath, pulled her closer against him so he could breathe in her sweet scent, "I was, but I just needed to see you…"he mumbled against her hair, a desperate tone in his quiet voice as his lips lingered against the top of her head.

_**But now we're getting older and we're growing up  
So now less action in the water and we know enough  
Stood upon the roof top on a night so clear  
That the lights from the city just disappeared**_

She knew there was more to the story, but she couldn't bring herself to ask it, knowing that he would tell her in time…or at least hoping he would anyway. So instead she chose to reassure him and say the only three words she knew that would make him feel better, "I love you," she said cupping his chin in her hand delicately.

"I love you too," he hushed, bringing his lips to hers so he could kiss her sweetly.

As their lips tangled together, both Spencer and Toby felt whole again. It was as though their family lives didn't matter or stress of the future. All that mattered was that they were there, together holding on to each other with everything they had.

But suddenly their moment ended all too soon for both of them, "SPENCER!" Melissa shrieked, her voice becoming louder the closer she got to them, "Where _are_ you?! Everyone is going to be here in fifteen minutes and you need to be ready!"

Cringing at her sister's loud commands, Spencer reluctantly pulled away from Toby, he still had his arm wrapped around her though, and continued to peer down at her as though she was some sort of amazing creature that he couldn't take his eyes off. And just like that, Spencer's eyes were locked on his and she forgot that her sister was just down the hall, most likely on her way to yell at her.

Toby started tracing the outside of her lips with his thumb, taking in every detail of her face.

_**I know you don't believe me  
When I believe in you  
I know it could get much easier  
If you want it to**_

"Spencer!" Melissa cried from behind them, but Spencer and Toby didn't pay any attention, they wanted to be in their own little world for as long as possible.

"Oh, it's _you_" Melissa spat circling around them so they were facing her, "You must be that boy Spencer can't stop talking about…what is it, Cody?"

"Toby," he corrected her, still looking down at Spencer for another second or so before turning toward her sister, "I'm Toby, and you must be Melissa," he stuck out his hand for her. She stared at his gesture prudently for a second before accepting it hesitantly and shaking his hand.

"Right…" she continued, "what are you doing here?" she asked bluntly.

"I invited him," Spencer told her.

"Right…." She looked Toby up and down with obvious disapproving eyes before turning toward Spencer again as if Toby wasn't worth another second of her time, "you need to be down stairs watching Jason –we don't need another recap of the Anniversary party incident. Besides, guests are going to be arriving any second now and you need to help greet them."

"Jason's fine, he's not an alcoholic he just got upset at mom and dad and wanted to get back at them, he doesn't need a babysitter. And I'm with a guest already greeting him," Spencer stated annoyed at her sister and her arrogance.

"Whatever, I'm not about to fight with you about this right now. Just be downstairs in five minutes or I'm telling mom and dad that Timmy's in your room," she turned on her heels and just like that, Melissa vanished.

"It's Toby!" Spencer shouted back at her, before turning towards him and shaking her head, "I'm so sorry about her."

"Hey, it's fine Spencer," he lifted her chin so she would look at him, "So that's the infamous Melissa Hastings. And I thought you were joking about her breathing fire…I think I saw some smoke come out of her nostrils."

"Stop," Spencer chuckled, laughing at his bad joke.

"Stop what?" he smiled at her, happy to see her mood change.

"Stop making me laugh when I should be upset right now."

"I could do that…." He thought about it for a second before taking her hand in his and kissing her palm lightly, "but I'd much rather see you smile than frown any day."

She sighed happily at his comfort. She loved how no matter how much her family riled her up, she could always count on Toby to calm her down. Just his mere presence made her that much happier.

_**I know you don't believe me  
When I believe in you  
I know it could get much easier  
If you want it to**_

"Now, you'd better get downstairs before you're parents throw a fit," Toby wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her toward the stairs.

Only ten minutes later, Spencer found herself greeting people she barely recognized. She put on her best 'yes, I remember you from when I was little,' charade with her brilliant fake smile that won over the strangers almost every time.

Spencer went from stranger to stranger saying hello just as her parents asked her to, after about a half hour of the facade though, she noticed that her loving boyfriend had drifted away from her side, hanging back more and more the more people she greeted. She couldn't help but feel bad, she could tell that he felt out of place. He wasn't used to these huge Hastings events that Spencer grew up with, it was like a whole new world for him full of snobby rich people who's lifestyle he didn't understand. She wanted nothing more than to rescue him and herself from her parents' outrageous party, but she knew she couldn't. She had to be the picture perfect daughter that her parents expected.

Jason, however also noticed Toby as he drifted toward the bar, standing awkwardly against it.

"I'll take a scotch, neat," the blonde ordered then turned to Toby who had raised eyebrows, "don't tell, I'm supposed to be 'sober' from my 'drinking issue,' after the last big shin-dig. They'll kill me if they find out but I really just can't go through another minute with these snobs without _something _to keep me sane."

"Your parents told everyone you had a drinking issue just because you got drunk at one party?" Toby asked taking a sip of his own drink –coke with a hint of vodka that he spiked when the bartender wasn't looking, "that's kind of harsh."

"In the world of Hastings, it's just another cover-up for issues they don't want to deal with," Jason took a satisfying sip of his drink before adding, "You'll probably realize soon enough that these parties can really take a toll on you…"

_**Oh, how we used to run up in the park  
Cool air, and eucalyptus leaves  
Oh, how we'd look out, out over the bay  
Must've follow through the gate  
Couldn't wait to get away**_

"I think I've already started to realize that and it hasn't even been an hour," Toby agreed.

But Jason just gave him a sympathetic look as he reassured him, "Don't worry too much, it'll get better."

"Is that why you're at the bar already?" Toby asked, raising his eyebrows once more.

"Okay, maybe it doesn't get better," Jason corrected himself, taking another long sip, "but at least you have Spencer, she's a pro at handling these types of parties and people."

"She really is," Toby looked over at the brunette shaking hands with a balding man in a suit. She looked so poised and professional, like she belonged there, providing another reminder to Toby how different their worlds really were. "I think I need some air," Toby said, walking away from Jason toward the front door, but when he saw a crowd of people blocking his escape he turned right, toward the stairs desperate for a quiet place to think.

He found himself hidden away in Spencer's room, sitting in her desk chair. Jason was right, this little Thanksgiving Dinner Spencer had invited him to was definitely overwhelming and more than he bargained for. But what was he supposed to do, leave early and disappoint the girl he loved? He could never do that. He just needed to get away from it all for a little while and forget how different they were. Besides where would he go if he did leave? He couldn't go home, not after what happened with his father.

All Toby wanted was peace, and quiet and comfort. He picked up a picture on Spencer's desk of her and Jason at his graduation, she looked so beautiful there in her yellow sundress, her face glowing with happiness and pride for her brother. She had so much love to offer the world and she didn't even realize it. Toby couldn't help but smile as he studied her deep brown eyes in the picture and suddenly his world felt a little less rocky. It was amazing how even a picture of her made him feel calm and at ease.

_**I know you don't believe me  
When I believe in you  
I know it could get much easier  
If you want it to**_

He was about to go back down stairs before she noticed his absence when something on her desk caught the corner of his eye. It was pushed off to the side, but it looked worn as though she had been studying it for a while. He picked it up, eyeing it carefully as he read in large bold print, 'NYU Housing.'

Suddenly it hit him like a ton of bricks.

Wow. She was really leaving him next year and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. He flipped through the pamphlet when he saw another brochure on her desk, though this time it was for Columbia. He picked it up quickly, searching through it to see if she was even interested in anything there. That was an ivy league and something her parents could finally approve of, not to mention it was in New York -something the Spencer could approve of. But it didn't make sense, Spencer had told him many times that she didn't want to go to an ivy league school because it was too competitive.

All of a sudden Toby had a hard time catching his breath, he was going to be stuck in Rosewood and she was leaving. Wow, leaving. He didn't want that, he wanted nothing more than to leave with her, to be with her forever. She was the one person who understood him and the only person who, besides his late mother, had loved him unconditionally. He needed her like he needed air and without her he'd be lost in a world he'd rather not be living in.

His thoughts were so wrapped up in that moment that he hadn't heard the door creak open.

"Toby? What are you doing up here?" Spencer asked, walking towards him.

His mind was dismantled though, and he needed a second to process the words coming from her mouth. She continued to stare at him questioningly, confused as to why he was hiding.

"I needed quiet for a few seconds, it was kind of overwhelming down there," he finally looked up at her and gave her his best fake smile, trying to reassure her pressing thoughts.

"I guess it can be a lot to take in," she agreed, but was still eyeing him suspiciously seeing right through the mask on his face.

"We should probably get downstairs though, right?" he asked, hoping to distract her.

"Yeah, but in a minute," she stepped closer to him, looking into his eyes as she studied him, "is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine."

She shook her head, taking his hands in hers, "Toby, you can tell me anything, you know that," she said kindly, reminding him, "I love you."

And just like that, with those three little words that meant so much, his heart melted. All he could do was avoid her eyes as he looked down to the brochures on her desk.

Her eyes followed his as she questioned, "Is it about NYU…or Columbia? My mom gave me the Columbia information since she wants me to apply there next, but I was really looking into the housing at NYU… if I can get in I kind of need a place to stay…"

"Of course you do," he nodded, "I just can't believe you're going to be away from me next year."

She sighed, seeing the lost look in his eyes made her bones ache, "You don't have to be you know. You could always come with me to New York," she suggested.

He knew he could do that, he's thought about it a million times ever since she sent in her application but it wasn't right. He couldn't just follow her to her dream school, she wouldn't want him there and he knew it. That was her dream not his, to run away to New York. He just hadn't found what his dream was yet.

So instead of agreeing to anything she might regret later on he just said, "I love you," and pulled her into his lap as he kissed her sweetly. All he needed was to hold her in his arms to make him feel better.

As he pulled away he stroked her cheek sweetly, "we really should go back downstairs now before anyone notices…" this time when he said it though, it was genuine and Spencer sensed it.

"I know," she sighed, not wanting to escape Toby's embrace just yet, but he was right. They had to get back to the party before anyone noticed their absence -especially Melissa or her parents. She pulled him up with her and held on to him tightly as she led him back into the zoo her parents call a party, but she would rather refer to it as hell.

_**I know you don't believe me  
When I believe in you  
But I know it's getting easier  
Like it's supposed to do**_

* * *

**Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story :) I haven't been updating as much as I hoped that I would be able to so thank you for continuing to support me and my writing. I'm going to college in exactly 17 days (yayy!) but who's counting, and I was hoping to have this story finished by then, but it looks like Spoby is coming to school with me. Anyways this rant is random so I think I'll just end it now. **

**Please feel free to leave a review whether you love or hate this chapter I'd really like to know :) Also feel free to PM me or message me on tumblr, I recently changed my url so it's now uponwonderland**

**Thanks again guys :)**


	25. Winter White

**Hey guys, so I'm finally getting back into the grove of writing again and I can't wait to share these next couple of chapters with you all. Thank you so much for your understanding when I haven't been updating as much as I have in the past, I'm trying to be more consistent now I promise. Anyways, this chapter was inspired by the song "Winter White" by A Fine Frenzy, I hope you like it :)**

* * *

**Chapter 25: Winter White**

_**The smoke of memories in my eyes  
The real misleading kind, it comes in winter white  
In holiday disguise, to sabotage my mind**_

Snowflakes trickle down from puffy clouds blanketing the December skies. Christmas may be a few weeks away, but the Holiday spirit was contagious in Rosewood. City sidewalks were lined with holly and bright lights as children made friends with the snowmen they built in the park. It was Spencer's favorite time of year, everyone was so happy for once forgetting about the stress of everyday life. There was no real worries to focus on, just the people you were thankful for. And this holiday season, she had a lot to be thankful for, a list starting with her best friends and ending with a certain blue-eyed boy who had captured her heart only a few months ago. She knew that his family didn't really do holidays, so she was determined to make this season extra special for both her and him.

He was hesitant at first, but after some begging he finally agreed to do something festive and now they were on their way to meet their friends in the park for some ice skating fun. Toby was quiet the whole way there, much like the way he had been more quiet than usual all week. Spencer could tell something was up, but she knew if she asked about it he would just make up some lame excuse and brush it off, so instead she was determined to show him the magic of the season.

But the closer and closer they got to the skating rink, the guiltier her conscious became.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," she finally broke the never-ending silence.

"No, we should go, you've been looking forward to this," Toby encouraged, but his voice sounded almost empty. Spencer scooted closer to him in the truck, resting her head on his shoulder, desperate to make him feel better somehow.

"But you don't, and I just want to make sure you have a good Christmas," Spencer added.

"Spencer, Christmas is weeks away, and it'll be the best Christmas season, as long as I get to spend it with you," he stated, his voice finally starting to sound somewhat normal again as he stated, "You've been looking forward to this, we're going."

"Okay, but if you change your mind we can always just go back to my house and watch a movie or something. Just you and me," she promised.

"Trust me I'll be fine, I actually like our friends, remember?" he reminded her as he pulled into the parking lot.

_**Dismiss the urge to reminisce, to miss your stupid kiss  
The shot at happiness  
It never did exist  
And I don't care if it did**_

They marched across the snowbanks hand in hand, trying not to sink into the icy slush as they made their way toward the make-shift ice rink in the middle of the park where Hanna, Caleb, Aria and Emily were waiting for them.

"Glad you two could finally join us," Caleb said sarcastically as he took a sip of his hot chocolate.

"Caleb!" Hanna elbowed him in the gut, "It's fine, we had to wait for _someone _to wait in that long-ass line to get some hot chocolate anyways," she eyed Caleb harshly, obviously not happy with her boyfriend at the moment.

"Well, excuse me. I thought I was being a good boyfriend since _someone_ kept on begging me to buy her one too," he eyed Hanna back as she took a sip of her own hot beverage.

"You're lucky you're cute," Hanna smirked at him, before forgiving him altogether as she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"Guys, as much as we all love witnessing this hallmark moment, it's really cold and I've been waiting for months to finally be able to ice skate. It's my favorite part of the season," Aria reminded them, breaking up Hanna and Caleb's cuteness.

"Yeah, we have a mission. Toby's never been ice skating before and we need to show him how it's done," Emily added, smiling at Toby.

Spencer looked at Toby, surprised, he had never told her that he'd never been skating before. He avoided her glance, knowing exactly what she was thinking and wanting to dodge it all together so instead he just pointed toward the booth set up near the edge of the pond, "let's go get our skates," he suggested quickly.

"Um, actually we already rented ours while we were waiting for you guys," Hanna nodded down toward the skates sitting on a nearby bench.

"Oh, right," Toby followed her gaze, "well I guess you guys can get started and we'll go get ours," he said pulling Spencer behind him as his boots sloshed in the snow.

They picked out their skates and Toby promptly paid the man running the makeshift rental booth. They started lacing up their boots when Spencer finally got up the courage to ask him, "Why didn't you tell me you've never been ice skating before?" it wasn't like him to keep anything from her, no matter how minute or insignificant it seemed.

"You never asked," he answered simply, but her round mocha eyes were begging for another answer. He huffed a long sigh before giving in, "My family isn't like yours, Spencer. We don't have holiday traditions or celebrations. Hell, we're lucky if we're all in the same room on Christmas Eve. We get each other tiny presents that don't mean anything really. The holidays have always been a tough time at my house…especially since my mom…" his voice growing quiet as his thoughts drifted off.

_**'Cause I won't crack  
And there's no turning back  
Merry Christmas  
Happy goddamn new year**_

Spencer felt awful making him recount how shitty his family was and how hard the holidays were for him. Instinctively she reached out, her hand squeezing his as she looked him dead set in the eye, "I'm sorry Toby," she said gently, "I promise, this year will be different. I'll be there for you through it all," she promised, his eyes finally connecting with hers. The amount of hurt in his eyes suddenly turning into hope.

"Can I teach you how to ice skate?" she smiled kindly.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly and stood up from the bench where he had tightly fastened his skates around his ankles before helping to pull Spencer up as well. They made their way toward the edge of the frozen pond, their friends calling out for them as they danced around in circles, showing off their impressive ability to balance while they skated around one another.

Spencer easily glided onto the ice, stopping after a few feet as she waited for Toby to join her. Hesitantly he put one foot in front of the other, trying to keep his balance while his arms swayed all around him making him look like an innocent child learning to skate for the first time. Spencer couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he was as he failed miserably at trying to look like he knew what he was doing. She skated toward him, holding out her hand for him to join her and he took it willingly. She smiled at him reassuringly, and he couldn't help but lose focus as her glistening smile distracted him. She looked like some sort of snow angel, wrapped up in a white coat with her soft brown hair framing her face perfectly. And with that smile of hers, his breath was nearly taken away. Before he knew it his feet were suddenly going two different directions, his legs spreading farther and farther apart. He panicked, jumping up in an attempt to keep his stance steady, but only causing him to fall down, pulling Spencer down with him as she landed flat on his chest.

Laughter erupted from around them as their friends gathered around, Caleb giving out his hand to Spencer to help her up and then to Toby. "Spencer I'm so sorry," Toby shook his head, embarrassed.

"Toby, don't worry about it, everyone falls at first," she tried to assure him. He laughed it off with the rest of their friends, trying his best to have a good time, if not for himself, then for his loving girlfriend by his side.

She so desperately wanted him to enjoy the holiday season, and she meant well, he knew she did, but she just didn't understand. Ever since his mother died a few years ago, the Holidays were never warm and fuzzy for him again. His father always started drinking more and more during the month of December, wanting to block out anything that reminded him of the memories of his late wife.

_**I see you everywhere  
I see you everywhere I breathe  
You are the devil king, the hell of my dreams  
You're poisoning my sleep**_

The first year was the hardest for Toby, he asked his dad if they were going to do any of the traditions his mom had started with them like decorating the Christmas tree or making cookies, but his dad only yelled at him, telling him they had a new family now and new traditions as he took another swig of his whiskey. But the only new traditions with Toby's new step-mother and step-sister consisted of ignoring one another around the house the entire season, and on Christmas morning they would exchange a small gift before going their separate ways and forgetting about it all together.

Toby's Christmases as a child used to be full of the loving memories and traditions that Spencer had similarly envisioned for them this year. His mother would go crazy, saying the day after Thanksgiving was always her favorite because it was the start of the season. The whole family would decorate the entire house, make cookies and decorate them, go caroling, they made snow forts and snow angels, they took part in every typical tradition –just like out of a holiday movie. Those memories were some of Toby's favorites, he was so happy and felt so alive. Now that his mother was gone though, he felt lost in the season, preferring to forget about it all together. It was just easier to deal with that way.

And as much as he loved Spencer, he just wished that she would let him forget about it like usual. It just hurt too much to expect great things out of the season. After his first Christmas without his mother, Toby learned his lesson real fast –he couldn't expect the happy family memories to continue, at least not without his mother. She had held their family together like glue, and without her they fell apart. While Toby's step-mother did her best to hold their new family together, somehow Toby just didn't fit into her perfect family picture and he was always getting pushed off to the side when it came to her, or she would simply prefer to blame him for their family's troubles. It was amazing how she always ignored his father's drinking, and yet when Toby had done nothing wrong, he was getting yelled at for stupid shit, like being accused of drinking all of the beer in their house. The obvious answer was right in front of her, most likely passed out on the couch, yet she refused to acknowledge it.

_**And I won't crack  
There's no turning back  
But it's mighty sad**_

"Are you sure you're okay Toby?" Spencer's kind voice broke Toby from his thoughts as they glided around the ice in circles behind the others.

Toby had to admit, it wasn't easy at first but he really thought he was getting the hang of ice skating. But something was still missing. His thoughts were growing hazy and the empty feeling inside of him was starting to take over once more.

"Spencer, I love you and how you want to celebrate the season with me, but I just think I need to be alone," he told her honestly, avoiding her worried eyes.

"Okay, we'll leave," she sighed defeated before suggesting, "we can go back to my house and watch a movie."

"No, Spencer," Toby stopped on the ice, turning to look at her, he was slightly impressed with his new skills on the ice, "I don't think you understand, I need to be alone from everyone."

The sad look that crossed her face made Toby want to take back every word that just escaped his mouth. He hated to see her sad, and the fact that he was causing it only made him feel that much worse for it. But her face quickly morphed into kind and understanding, "Okay, baby. I'll get a ride home from Emily."

Relief swept over him as she agreed to let him go, he loved her but he desperately needed to get away from the happiness around him. It only made his grief for his mother and her memory worse.

"I love you," she told him sweetly, kissing him quickly on the cheek, "call me tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I love you too," he said, his voice turning hoarse, "tell the others I'm sorry."

"Okay, I will... And Toby, please call me?" she asked again, worry filling her voice.

"I will, I promise," he said before carefully turning on his skates toward the edge of the rink where he took off his skates and returned them promptly before heading to his truck and driving away. Spencer watched as his old rusty truck disappeared away from her, and she couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until he would really let her in on what was bothering him. She knew that his family wasn't really much for celebrating any holiday, but she didn't know much more than that. She wished more than anything that Toby would finally talk to her about it, she was growing tired of his subdued quiet and everything she did in hopes of changing his mood didn't seem to work. Running low on options and patience, Spencer wondered what the final straw would be before she would confront him.

But alas, she knew that day wouldn't come. She could never ask him when he wasn't ready to talk about it, but she prayed that the day he was ready to open up would come soon. She sighed sadly for him, ready to turn back to her friends, when a perky blonde appeared at her side without her realizing.

"Is he okay?" Hanna asked, following Spencer's eyes as she watched Toby walk away.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "he won't talk to me and just said that he needs to be alone."

Throwing her arm around her best friend's shoulder, Hanna turned Spencer toward the rest of the group as she said encouragingly, "he'll come around, he just needs time."

"You're probably right," Spencer agreed, meeting up with the rest of the group who watched as Aria spun around in a circle as if she was a tiny dancer.

They stayed on the ice for another hour or so before getting too cold and desperately needing hot chocolate to warm them up. They chatted and laughed as giddy excitement grew around them for the start of the holidays. But Spencer, who usually was the heart and soul of the festivities, wasn't feeling quite the same. She was distracted with Toby and his sadness. It broke her heart to see him so quiet, so empty. And if he couldn't be happy this holiday, then she couldn't be either. She couldn't help but feel the pain he felt, it was as if they were interconnected, his feelings and sadness now her own. And she would do anything to put an end to the sadness for him and bring out that contagious goofy grin, because she loved him that much.

_**And this year it's going to be  
Just like you never knew me  
Peace and quiet, happy home  
How I love to be alone  
Merry Christmas  
Happy goddamn new year**_

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading :) It means so much to me. If you would be so kind to leave this chapter a review, whether you loved it or hated it I'd love to know. **


	26. Hate to See Your Heart Break

**Can I just start off by saying thank you thank you thank you times a million for all your amazing reviews and kind words, they mean so much to me. I've put my heart and soul into this story and hearing your response to it makes me so unbelievably happy. I couldn't believe the response the last chapter got so I finished this one as quickly as I could for you guys. It was inspired by Paramore's "Hate to See Your Heart Break." I hope you guys like it :)**

* * *

**Chapter 26: Hate to See Your Heart Break**

_**There is not a single word in the whole world  
that could describe the hurt  
The dullest knife just sawing back and forth  
And ripping through the softest skin there ever was**_

The last day of school before winter break was upon them and the students at Rosewood High could not be more excited for two weeks of freedom. A magic energy was in the air as the teenagers passed from class to class, giddy excitement causing their voices to be louder than usual and teachers having a harder time than usual calming them down. Everyone around Toby seemed to be bouncing off the walls, but he just couldn't muster the same type of excitement. While a break from school meant that he was free to spend more time with Spencer, it also meant he had to spend more time at his house, something he was not looking forward to –especially this time of year.

He strolled slowly down the hallway, avoiding eye contact with those around him, not wanting to face their enthusiasm. He made his way to his locker, where he found Spencer waiting for him. He had been avoiding her all day, not willing to face her either. With a deep sigh he walked toward her worried eyes.

Something was bothering Toby for almost a month now and Spencer tried everything she could think of to make him feel better. After he refused to talk about it, she tried to distract him the best she could from whatever the problem was, but that only seemed to make him pull that much farther away from her. He was slipping away and she didn't like it. It was as if she was trying to hold on to water and slowly but surely, the drops would slip through the cracks until she was left empty handed.

"Hey, Toby," she greeted him kindly, her voice soft and gentle.

"Hi," he was still avoiding her eyes as she moved for him to open his locker.

"I feel like I've barely seen you lately, I miss you," she told him sadly. She felt like she never got to see her boyfriend anymore, with his new job he was always working and she was always busy with her heavy homework load. The only times she really got to see him was when he drove her to and from school, but even then he was quiet and was hard to make conversation with.

He stood there quietly, not really knowing how to respond as he traded a binder in his backpack for another.

_**How were you to know? Oh, how were you to know?  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before**_

"Look I know it's not your thing and how much you hated Thanksgiving, but my parents are throwing their annual Christmas party tomorrow and I could really use another ally in my war against the arrogant rich. So, what do you say? Will you come, please?" Spencer asked, practically begging him.

"I don't know, Spencer…"

"Please, Toby? For me?" she asked desperately, "We don't even have to stay at the party for the whole time, we can escape after an hour or so….I've really missed you, Toby."

He was about to say no, but he made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Her excruciatingly sweet mocha eyes got him every time. He could never say no to their pleading sadness.

"Okay," he huffed, "what time should I come over?"

"The party starts at seven," she told him happily, she placed her arms around his neck leaning in she whispered, "thank you," breathily against his lips before going in for the kill. She kissed him tenderly, hoping to show her thanks, but she was taken by surprise when he quickly pulled her against him tighter, kissing her fiercer as if he was desperate for her touch. He instantly parted her lips with his tongue while tangling with hers as his hands becoming lost in her soft auburn hair.

Having her in his arms instantly made him feel almost whole again. And having her lips against his, nothing was a better distraction from his dark thoughts. He needed her to make him forget the world, and if going to another stupid party full of snobby rich people meant that he could spend more time with her, he would do it. He would do anything for her.

The bell rang suddenly, breaking them from their kiss and Toby reluctantly let go of the one thing that helped him stand upright as she went to class.

He wasn't looking forward to much. Not to the start of break, or to the Hastings Christmas party, but the one thing he could always count on was looking forward to see the beautiful brunette who made his heart race every time he saw her.

_**Love happens all the time to people who aren't kind  
And heroes who are blind  
Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes  
Who wants an awkward silent mystery?**_

As Toby drove up the Hastings never-ending driveway, cars lined the streets and he knew that Spencer wouldn't be happy that he was late, by about an hour and a half to be exact. He knew she would be disappointed, but there were certain things in his life he couldn't control and his screwed up family making him unreliable and late for the love of his life was one of them. He took a deep breath, trying to convince himself not to walk through the intimidating front doors, but knowing he had to see the one person who could make him feel uncut.

At last he climbed out of his truck, fixing his tie as he walked through the threshold, not even bothering to knock. The house was full of people, almost twice as many as the Thanksgiving party and Toby knew it would be almost impossible to find her. So instead he headed towards the bar in the back corner of the living room, deciding if he was going to navigate through the maze of people he would need a drink first. Once the bartender handed him his scotch, he drank it almost in one giant gulp, hating the burn as the rough liquid slid down his throat, but starting to feel slightly at ease. He was about to start his search for his girlfriend when a different brunette appeared at his side. She was taller than Spencer, and had reeked of arrogance, bitchiness, and Chanel No. 5.

"You're Bobby, right?" Melissa Hastings asked him, taking a sip of her champagne.

"Toby, actually," he told her stiffly, and added after a puzzled look ran across her face, "we met at Thanksgiving?"

"Oh, yes, of course. You're Spencer's friend."

"Her boyfriend of three months actually," he corrected.

"Right," Melissa looked around them, as if she was already bored of their conversation before bluntly saying, "My parents say that Spencer's bringing down the family name, not that it's anything new." She turned to face him, her eyes narrowing in on him as her voice became much more harsh and stubborn,

"Listen, Spencer has a hard time seeing what's good for her. She's young and naïve. As her older, more experienced sister it's my job to look out for her. She needs to be with someone who will have just as much success in life as she is expected to as a Hastings. He needs to be intelligent, from a similar lifestyle, someone who when she fails at whatever she decides to do will be able to have her stand by his side and watch his success. She's smart, but lord knows only book-smarts will get you so far in life. Do you get what I'm saying Tommy?"

"Honestly, no. I know that Spencer's an incredible person who will be successful at whatever she decides to do. She's not meant to be just some trophy wife, she's meant to change the world," he told her confidently, not even bothering to correct her this time, "I don't think you give her enough credit."

Melissa, stared at him for a moment, glaring at him for what felt like an eternity. Finally a devious smile broke out on her face, "Maybe you're right. But my point is, she needs someone who's just as smart and knows what it's going to be like when she's a senator or a doctor and doesn't mind the lifestyle she's living in now, or then. Look at you, you're not comfortable here. You don't want this life, aren't you asking yourself why you're here?"

He wanted to fight her, he wanted to yell at her and to smack her and to prove her wrong. But the truth was, he _was_ asking himself why he was here. He hated these parties and this lifestyle. He felt like a fish out of water and all he wanted was to escape it into the ocean of his comfort zone.

Her smile grew when he didn't respond, knowing that she had proven her point, "That's what I thought," she continued, "I'm not trying to be a mean person I swear," her voice was shrill with fake innocence as she placed her hand over her heart, "I'm just trying to be a good sister."

But Toby didn't say anything, instead he turned his attention away from her, downing the last sip of his drink, hoping she would get the message and get lost. After a few more minutes of awkward silence, she patted Toby on the shoulder, "Well it was nice seeing you again, Henry," her voice was now full of fake kindness and Toby didn't look at her as she disappeared into the crowd.

He ordered another drink, trying to take the edge off. He wanted to forget everything that she had said to him, telling himself over and over that they weren't true. She was just trying to manipulate him like Spencer had warned him. But the thing was, she was right. Toby knew he wasn't good enough for Spencer, but he couldn't help himself. He was so in love with her it made him sick to think of living a life without her. He ordered another drink, enjoying the haziness that was beginning to take over and numb his over-worked mind. After a few more he was bored of just sitting there and decided it was time to search the room for Spencer, wanting nothing more than to leave this dreadful party with her.

_**How were you to know? Well, how were you to know-oh-oh?  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before**_

The blank stares on empty faces surrounded him, he could feel their judgment as the hairs on his neck started to stand up. But he ignored them the best he could, searching for one face in particular. He had moved all around the room with almost no luck and was about to give up when he heard a familiar low roar of laughter from behind him. Turning quickly he found Mr. Hastings standing beside his wife talking to an older couple as they exchanged jokes. Toby was about to walk away when something Mrs. Hastings said caught his attention, "Yes, Spencer's been looking into Harvard's medical program, she loves science! That's all she talks about is how much she wants to go to Harvard and become a doctor!"

"No she doesn't," Toby interrupted them, not even realizing the words he was thinking had escaped his mouth until it was too late.

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Hastings turned toward him, giving him a questioning stare.

"Spencer doesn't like science. She hates it, all of it –biology, chemistry, physics. And she definitely doesn't want to go to Harvard's medical school," he said again, his voice monotone as he explained himself.

"I think I know my own daughter," she huffed in response, turning away from him.

"You're wrong," Toby disagreed, "You don't know her. She hates science but she loves history and cultures. She wants to change the world and travel, not be stuck in some small town with needy rich people who take out their anger and frustrations on their credit card," he continued, his voice growing in strength as more of his liquid courage was coming into play, "You don't know anything about her because you want to plan her life and make everything look perfect, when really you couldn't give two shits about her!"

Veronica Hastings looked as though she was about to explode with anger, she was about to do something drastic when another angry voice stepped in for her, "Toby!" Spencer scolded from behind them obviously hearing the majority of the conversation.

Toby turned to look at her. She was so beautiful, she was always beautiful, all he wanted to do was to escape the chaos of people and be with her. He started to reach out his hand to hold her in his arm, but she slapped it away. His eyes grew wide with shock –she had never turned him down before.

"Not now Toby," she scolded, her voice sharp.

"He's drunk," Spencer's mother observed, "I think it would be best if you just took him home before he causes any more trouble," she said to Spencer, but her eyes were locked on Toby's the whole time, filled with judgment and heated anger.

"Okay," Spencer agreed simply, leading Toby out of the crowded room toward the door, embarrassed about the commotion her boyfriend caused. Once outside she walked straight to her Mercedes, not even giving him a glance as she started the car. He sat in the passenger's seat, not sure of what to say.

He wanted nothing more than to reach out for her again, he longed for her touch to make him feel alive, but he knew she would just swat him away again. Maybe he did mess up and had one too many drinks, but he didn't say anything that he didn't mean or that her parents didn't need to hear. It was the truth and she couldn't be mad at him for that, could she?

"Spencer, baby, I'm sorry," he said, his hand covering his eyes in disgrace. He hated to see her mad at him and at the moment he felt as small as a child being put in time-out.

But she didn't take her eyes off the road for the entire trip, too upset to put her anger into words. It wouldn't matter anyways, she really didn't want his drunken apology.

She knew something had been bothering him, but that didn't mean he was supposed to get drunk at her parents party of all places and then take out his frustrations on her parents. It wasn't fair, and Spencer would be the one who would have to pay. She loved this boy so much, but he was more willing to drown his sorrows in alcohol rather than going to her and dealing with them and that was something that she really couldn't handle.

_**For all the air that's in your lungs  
For all the joy that is to come  
For all the things that you're alive to feel  
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal**_

She drove in silence for the entire way to his house, and he didn't try to talk to her again, already defeated. It wasn't until she pulled into the Cavanaugh's driveway that she finally acknowledged him, "Toby, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I…I don't know, but I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry baby," he promised, his voice wobbly.

"Why did you decide you need to get drunk at my parents party of all places?! You knew how important it was to me, and after all that we've been through with them! They were just starting to accept us, that's three months of me bragging about how amazing of a person you are to them down the drain! They won't care about any of that anymore!" her voice shook with anger, she couldn't believe he would do this, this wasn't him. It wasn't her Toby.

"Spencer, I love you! I already said I'm sorry. Take me back there and I'll apologize to them, just let me fix this," he pleaded, but she just ignored him again, continuing he rant.

"I can't believe you did this Toby! This isn't just about them, it's about me. I needed you there with me, I wanted you by my side. You promised me you would show up and I waited for you for _hours_! Eventually I just gave up, and do you know how it feels when the one person I can count on let me down?! It sucks, it really fucking sucks." She was on the verge of screaming now as tears began to roll down her face, "I understand that you don't like this time of year and that your family sucks, but you have to let me in! You can't just let me go on worrying about you like this, it's driving me crazy! Let me help you dammit!" she didn't even know what caused the transformation in her rant, but every emotion she had felt for the past month was boiling over and she couldn't take it anymore, "Don't deal with it the way your dad does, be a real man!" she was almost hunched over as the sobs started to pour out. She had felt this burden for too long now, and the pain of watching Toby's pain was excruciating, especially when she couldn't fix it.

Silent tears streamed down his face, but he couldn't do anything other than listen to her desperate pleas. He didn't say anything because honestly, he didn't know what to say. So he sat there and she waited patiently for him to respond, but no words seemed to come.

He didn't know how to fix this or the magic words to erase the entire night, instead of being able to think of any he was too distracted by her sadness. He hated that he made her once stunning face transform with the torment he caused. All he wanted was for her to be happy, to see that glimmering smile once more that could set the world right. Slowly, he brought his hand up to her cheek, brushing away tears as they came, and she let him, leaning her hand against his tender touch. Allowing him to comfort her pain. But only a second later, she pushed him away again, taking a deep breath to steady her emotions, as she turned away from him once more, looking straight out the windshield.

"Call me when you're sober, Toby," she said coldly, waiting for him to leave. He stepped out of the car, weakened at last. She pulled away quickly, not bothering to wait for him to go inside, but he continued to watch as her car disappeared down the street. Even after it was gone he continued to watch for it, as if he waited there long enough it would miraculously appear and there could be chance for a happy ending after all.

But he knew that wasn't possible. He didn't believe in happy endings and for four years he hadn't believed in magic or miracles. Then he fell in love with a brilliant brunette, and something changed in him. But obviously it wasn't enough, he was still a screw-up like his parents told him he was and there was nothing he could do to change it.

He stepped into his house after a while feeling heavily defeated. He had been defeated by many Hastings that evening but the last one was by far the worst and more catastrophic. He went up to his room without acknowledging any member of his so-called family, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and forget this awful day even happened. Maybe tomorrow he could feel hope, but today, Toby only felt sadness, a heavy dark sadness that was slowly taking over his life.

_**Oh, how were you to know? (How were you to know?)  
Oh, how were you to know?  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before**_

* * *

**So, whatcha think? I would love to hear your input on the story so far, no matter if you love it or you hate it :)**

**psstt... Who else was bouncing off the walls last night when PLL won EVERY award they were up for?! So proud of the entire cast and crew, they really deserved it :)**


	27. Glitter in the Air

**Hey guys, I'm going to keep this short and sweet because I feel like my author notes have become longer and longer lately and you all probably just want to get to the story. Thank you for your amazing feedback, I really appreciate it. This chapter was inspired by the song "Glitter in the Air" by P!nk. Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 27: Glitter in the Air**

_**Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?  
Closed your eyes and trust it, just trust it?  
Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?  
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care."?**_

The sun rose and fell into a silent night over and over again. Toby was lost, his moral compass pointing in no direction in particular so he sat there, trying to block out the world. He hated that he screwed things up with Spencer so badly, he wasn't surprised that she hadn't tried to call him. He hadn't called or tried to talk to her either, not sure what he would say if given the chance that she would answer. The one thing in his life that was his rock he felt was a thousand miles away from him and at the moment. Without her as his anchor, he was lost fighting the tide as it continued to beat him against the rough shore over and over again.

He didn't want to do much thinking. He hated thinking especially when his only thoughts revolved around Spencer. Weeks ago he had thought of the perfect gift to give her and he so desperately wanted to make things right with her so he could have the chance. So finally, almost a week later, he called her. It was the day before Christmas Eve and he needed to hear her voice -even her recording for her voice mail would be enough -just to ease his darkness and to shed a little bit of light on the dark holiday.

He was surprised when she picked up though after only the third ring.

"Hello? Toby?" she asked and he detected a little bit of worry in her voice that was left unmasked.

"Hey," he breathed a shaky breath. She stayed silent on the other end, waiting for more, but like their fight in the car only more silence came. Finally she sighed with disappointment, "Are you okay?" but she no longer sounded worried. This time her voice was calm but void of any emotion –blank.

"I just…I…Can I see you?" he stammered with desperation.

"Now's not really a good time Toby, my parents are still pretty upset about the party and I don't think you should be around," her voice had grown soft once more with sadness as her heart ached with his and she hated that she couldn't be mad at him at the moment, "but they're leaving for Paris in the morning if you want to come over tomorrow sometime," she agreed at last.

"Great, what time do they leave?" he couldn't contain the hope that was growing inside him.

"They leave for the airport at seven."

"I'll be there at eight," he promised before adding with a softer and frantic tone once more, "I love you Spencer."

Her breathing had grown heavy from the other end, "I have to go, Toby," she said at last before hanging up altogether.

_**It's only half past the point of no return  
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn  
The thunder before the lightning and the breath before the phrase  
Have you ever felt this way?**_

While she was mad at him, she couldn't deny the fact that she missed him with every ounce of her being. He should have never been late to the party and should never have gotten drunk and told her parents off. It wasn't his place, even if he was right in what he said to them. Her parents had taken out their anger and frustration on her and it wasn't fair that he put her in that position.

After the party was over they told her what a bad decision she made when she chose him over them, they kept going on and on about how embarrassing it was for them and what a fool he made them look in front of their friends and clients. She tried to stand up to them and tell them they were wrong, but they simply ignored her once again, so she quit fighting them. Underneath it all part of her agreed with them, maybe she did make a mistake choosing his world over her own, but the other parts of her knew that his world was the only world she would want to live in. Her parents quickly told her she was grounded and took back her plane ticket for their family trip to Paris over Christmas. Not that she really minded though, she didn't want to be stuck in another country with them and their disapproval anyway.

She had waited and waited for Toby to call her and try to make amends. After the third day she was starting to get worried and considered calling him, but then quickly shook the idea from her brain. She wasn't the one who needed to apologize, he was. She knew that he was going through a lot, but that didn't mean that it was okay for him to take his frustrations out on her and her family. But she just needed to know that he was okay, she knew that his family wasn't ideal and she kept finding different bruises on his body over the last few weeks. He would tell her it was nothing and that they happened from being clumsy at work, but something told her that there was more to the story. She just needed reassurance. And the phone call she finally got from him wasn't enough.

She prayed for those 12 hours before she could see him once more to pass quickly, but she discovered that the more you watch the clock, the slower the hands seem to move. She busied herself in homework, hoping to pass the time faster, but even that couldn't distract her from thoughts of Toby crossing her mind.

Finally she woke up the next morning, not even remembering falling asleep on her bed with her history book on her lap. She glanced at the clock, it read 7:39. Her parents must have left with Melissa without even saying goodbye or Merry Christmas, not that she was surprised but it still hurt a little. She would be spending Christmas alone, and she couldn't help but feel a little sad at that fact.

Glancing at the clock, it reminded her that Toby would be on his way over in less than twenty-minutes and she needed to get up and dressed. Lazily she dragged herself out of bed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen so she could start the coffee. Half-way down the stairs she rubbed her tired eyes, sure she was seeing things as a male figure pranced around her kitchen. After a few blinks just to make sure, she walked toward him hesitantly, not really prepared to deal with this quite yet –especially without having caffeine in her system.

"Hey, you're up," he said, finally noticing her entrance into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" she asked groggily, and she was grateful when he handed her a cup of coffee.

"I'm meeting you like I said I would," he told her. Something was different in him. He looked happy almost, a glimmer of hope that hadn't been in his eye in weeks. Spencer felt as though she was still dreaming, it was all so surreal. She loved seeing Toby acting somewhat normal, but she couldn't ignore everything that had happened.

"You know what I meant," she narrowed hers eyes at him, showing her annoyance.

"I know, I couldn't wait," he told her honestly, his head sulking slightly as he stepped back from the stove where he was making them omelets so he could face her, "I'm so sorry Spencer. I never should have acted that way, and I really missed you. Can we please just talk about this over breakfast?" he asked, optimistic.

She nodded, but was still watching him intently as if she was observing his strange behavior. A few days ago he was completely lost and now he was a whole other person, she wasn't sure she liked this sudden change, but she did miss him and wanted to get to the bottom of things so they could work through it together.

She took a seat at the table and sipped her coffee silently for a few minutes while she waited for him to place the plates at the table and sat next to her.

She took another sip, it was strong just like she liked it, and looked straight at him not even reaching for her fork to take a bite of the food he prepared for her. She wanted to make him know how serious she was, so her starving stomach would have to wait.

_**Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?  
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone  
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?  
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?**_

"Toby, I meant everything that I said to you in the car. I've been worried about you for weeks and it's been killing me slowly on the inside to see you so sad, so empty. I've done everything that I could to help you but I can't do anything if you don't open up to me. I love you but I can't handle you getting drunk and yelling at my parents. Those are my problems to worry about, not yours," her voice had grown shaky and the tears were starting to well up in her eyes as words she'd been dying to say just seemed to pour out of her mouth.

"I know, I'm so sorry I've kept you out like that. But it's just what I do this time of year, I can't handle everyone and disappointing them –especially you of all people. I know I shouldn't have gotten drunk, but you're wrong when you say that those problems are yours to worry about. I love you and your worries and concerns are mine too, even if it has to do with your parents I want to help you. I want to be there for you so you can have the strength to stand up to them. They think they know you, but they don't, and they don't even care to," he explained his voice going rough with resentment for her parents and their ignorance.

"This isn't about me!" Spencer snapped, clearly irritated by the change in topic, "This is about you, and how you've kept me out for so long. I can't take it anymore Toby! I want to be able to rely on you, but I can't! You're turning this on me and it's not fair! It's me who should be upset, you have _no _reason to turn this around on me!" she was screaming now.

"This goes two ways Spencer! I can't believe you won't see that! I've already apologized and I can apologize thousand more times but you still won't see that! How can I expect you to be strong for me when you won't be strong for yourself?!" he screamed back, but instantly regretted his choice of words the second he said them.

She got up from the table, silent tears streaming down her angelic face and turned away from him as she ran up the stairs.

"Spencer wait! I didn't mean that!" he cried after her, but she was already gone too far out of reach.

He followed after her, knowing that if he walked out the front door and away from her, she would never let him back in. So instead he knocked on her bedroom door, but wasn't surprised when she didn't answer.

"Spencer, please open the door. I didn't mean that, I'm sorry I just got so caught up," he said, his voice sounding hoarse, "I love you." He knocked twice but there was no answer. He was starting to get worried so determinedly he stated, "Spencer I'm coming in," and opened the door. She still didn't respond though as she laid curled up in a ball on her bed. He knelt down beside her head and took her hand in his own, she pulled it back quickly and rolled over so she was facing away from him.

"Spencer, I'm sorry," he tried again.

But there was still no answer so he just continued, "Spencer, you are one of the strongest most determined people I've ever known. The way that you refuse the future your parents hand you, but instead insist on making your dreams your own. That's so powerful and I don't think I'll ever be able to do something so amazing on my own. And the way that you've put up with me this last month, I don't know how you did it. I've been a mess and yet you've been so determined, so strong by my side. It almost made this Holiday season bearable," he told her stroking the back of her head softly with his hand.

She sighed heavily and rolled back over to face him once more. Her eyes were bright red and puffy, but she took the hand that was just stroking her hair and kissed it sweetly, her eyes had a bright twinkle in them from his kind words.

"I love you," he told her again softly.

"I love you too, Toby," she replied quietly before sitting up and continuing, "I know I shouldn't be mad at what you said to my parents, and deep down I'm not. I'm more upset that I can't say it to them myself. But I can't handle seeing you drunk like that, you were a mess."

"I know," he said solemnly.

"But honestly Toby, I just need to know that you're okay. I want to be there for you, I really do, but you just have to let me in. And you're still not. We can't move forward until we face this," she spoke softly, reassurance resonating out of her every word.

Running his hand through his hair, he tried to steady his anxious thoughts and nerves. He sat up on the bed, scooping her up on and placing her on his lap, needing her courage. Stroking her arms tenderly with his thumb, he watched the goosebumps on her arm start to form. He avoided her eyes as he spoke, instead focusing on his hand and her arm, "This time of year can just really be hard on me and my dad. It was my mom's favorite time of year and she always went above and beyond with the traditions we started as a family. Without her here, it's just not the same and my dad really just doesn't want it to be. He'd rather ignore the entire season and get wasted than face her memory. I have a hard time dealing with it too, but I just really miss her," his voice cracked at the last part and a sob broke out that he had kept buried for a long time now.

_**It's only half past the point of oblivion  
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run  
The breath before the kiss, and the fear before the flames  
Have you ever felt this way?**_

Spencer turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him close as he cried out everything he had been keeping inside for too long. She could sense there was more and waited patiently for him to continue, but he never did. Instead he just cried and she held him close. Eventually his breathing evened out and he sat comfortably in her arms, wanting to continue but not having the courage to. She wanted him to too, but knew sharing this much with her was hard on him and she didn't want him to feel any more of the pain he had just released. So instead she captured his lips in her own and kissed him softly, slowly, letting him know that she was there for him.

He moved his lips against hers and tangled his hand in her hair as he brought her closer. They didn't push any boundaries they just memorized the taste of the others lips they had missed so much in the past few days.

Finally Spencer pulled away, and studied his intense gaze. It was still full of sorrow and hurt, but not as much as before, she kissed each of his eyelids and promised herself that she would slowly but surely replace the sadness buried beneath them with nothing but love and happiness, no matter how long it would take.

He smiled at her, his toothless grin and she swore her heart stopped beating for a second. She had missed his smile more than she realized.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" she whispered, knowing the risk that his sadness could return once more at the thought of the loss of his mom. He did stiffen for a moment, but only that as his eyes locked with hers once more, "probably nothing," he told her honestly.

"Why don't you stay here tonight and spend it with me?" she offered sweetly, "My parents left me here by myself as some sort of punishment while they went to Paris with Melissa and her new boyfriend."

The thought of spending Christmas wrapped up in Spencer's arms made his stomach turn with excitement and hope that maybe this year the holiday wouldn't go completely to waste. "I'd love that," he whispered back, cupping her face and kissing her sweetly once more. "Are you hungry? You never did eat your breakfast…" he reminded her.

"Yeah, a little," she admitted, her stomach starting to rumble as if on cue. He gently scooted her off of him so he could stand up before placing his hands at her waist and holding her as close as possible while they went back downstairs to their uneaten breakfast. He warmed her food up in the microwave then let her shower and get ready to spend the day with him. While she was in the shower he ran home to grab some clothes and the present he was debating about giving to her for a while, but after that morning he knew he only wanted her to have it.

He hurried back to her house, wanting to make up the few days that they had been apart. They spent the day wrapped up in each other's arms watching classic Christmas movies. The fire place was roaring to life with vibrant flames and they sipped on hot chocolate as they cuddled together.

The day was passing by quickly and Spencer was growing tired of seeing Santa Claus on the TV screen -she much rather focus on the man beside her. She turned toward him as the credits for the movie started to roll, kissing him sweetly as she enjoyed the taste of cocoa from the hot chocolate still on his tongue.

_**La La La La La La La La  
There you are,  
Sitting in the garden,  
Clutching my coffee,  
Calling me sugar  
You called me sugar**_

She pulled away, satisfied with his speechlessness. Tracing from his jawline to his hairline with the tips of her fingers, she asked softly, "What was your favorite tradition with your mom?"

He was quiet for a moment, thinking back to the happy times, "I remember every Christmas Eve she would make me help her bake cookies with her and decorate them. I used to love it when I was little, but the older I got the more annoyed I got about it, I mean what twelve year old boy wants to bake cookies with his mother?" he chuckled lightly, "But now I kind of miss it…"

Spencer kissed his cheek lightly, "We can do that…if you want?" she offered.

"Spencer, are you serious?" his asked, hopeful.

She nodded silently, enjoying the cheerfulness that touched his eyes at her suggestion.

He couldn't think of any words that could properly express his gratitude for her, so he just kissed her happily. And he didn't stop until they were both breathless.

"Thank you, baby," he said sincerely, "but before we do, can I give you your present first? I know it's not technically Christmas yet, but I just really want to give it to you now."

She nodded again, loving Toby's turn in emotions in the past twenty-four hours and how she had a major impact in that.

He moved her off of him, and ran upstairs to where his duffle bag was waiting in her room. He searched through it quickly finding the small box he was looking for and raced back down the stairs. He sat beside her on the couch once more and handed the small present over to her timidly.

She took it quickly from his hands, noticing the wrapping on it. It was slightly messy with plain blue paper and a small bow on top, and she knew that he did it himself. Slowly, she peeled the tape off one end of the box, holding onto it as if it was worth a million bucks. Once both ends of the tape was peeled off, she slid the box out of the paper, turning it in her hands as she hesitantly opened it.

Inside stood the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen. It looked a little old and aged, but that was part of the beauty. She instantly loved it, it was unique and looked as though it was vintage.

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

"It was my mother's," Toby said quietly, "She would have loved you Spencer, and I want you to have a piece of her."

She studied the necklace again. It really was beautiful, the chain was simple and silver, but in the very middle hung a breathtaking silver locket with intricate embroidering on it. She took it out of the box and handed it to Toby so he could put it on her.

"Thank you, I love it," she told him and kissed him again before dragging him off into the kitchen so they could start their baking adventure.

They baked and made cookies for the next couple of hours, and then they decorated all the ones they didn't eat right away. When they were finished they were exhausted. As they fell asleep that night both briefly remembered their Christmases in the past. Neither had many good memories, especially from the last couple of years. Spencer always got left behind or pushed aside so her parents could gape over Melissa's accomplishments, while Toby's Christmas celebrations had been mostly nonexistent. This year was different though, they had each other and neither one could think of a better present. While it wasn't perfect or ideal, it was more than either could ask for. They made up and made love as they created new Christmas traditions together.

_**Have you ever wished for an endless night?  
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?  
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?  
Tonight**_

* * *

**Thanks again for reading it means the world to me :) I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and any thoughts on a certain Spoby New Year's celebration coming up? haha xoxo I really love you all :)**


End file.
